Azarov Spells Ivano-Frankivsk As If It’s Named After Dictator Franco

If you’ve lived in Ukraine for decades and still haven’t learned Ukrainian, you vote for the Party of Regions.

But if you repeatedly misspell one of Ukraine’s oblasts in Russian, the Party of Regions owes you a spot on its ticket.

“Ivano-FrAnkovsk” is how PM Azarov spells Ivano-FrankOvsk (Russian for Ivano-Frankivsk).



As if it’s named after Spanish dictator Francisco Franco, not after Ukrainian poet-writer Ivan Franko.

For krovosisi’s sake, don’t we already have “poetess Anna Akhmetova” and “great poet” Chekhov on our books?







Well, if you read Chekhov extensively, you'd find poetry galore. Which makes Yanukovych a well-read person, Herman says.



Which, in turn, emboldens Yanukovych to stand his ground in describing Chekhov as a “wonderful poet.”

Call it what you will, but Patriarch Kirill says Yanukovych “serves the cause of the spiritual enlightenment of his people.”



Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/22/5242022
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uYJ6C7t2lo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPXooNOPeI0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAvG78gESnk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXTKJPqIhYY
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/17766.phtml

Biker Putin, Mayor Luzhkov, Patriarch Kirill Descend on Ukraine

The Kremlin has been ganging up on Yanukovych in what appears to be a very tight schedule.

Once in Ukraine, everyone gets busy.



Patriarch Kirill — slams nationalism.

Seriously, didn’t we Little Russians oppress you Great Russians for centuries?


Лучшее видео на video.tochka.net - Что Лужков заявлял о Севастополе


Mayor Luzhkov — questions Ukraine’s sovereignty over Sevastopol.

Touché! Didn’t we Little Russians conquer Great Russian towns and villages, sending millions of Great Russians to the Holodomors and Gulags?

PM/Biker-in-Chief Putin — practices Ukrainian. Again!

Putin [addresses Russian bikers in Russian]: Tomorrow is Russian Navy Day. Let me greet all navy personnel with this holiday! [applause] And tomorrow Ukrainian and Russian naval personnel will be together — just as they were together — just as our peoples were together for many many centuries, in times of trials and tribulations. And tomorrow they will be together. And for this I want to give special thanks to the leadership...of Ukraine, most notably to President Yanukovich Viktor Fiodorovich [Rus: second name, first name, patronymic], both for the decision...[roar of applause]...both for the decision on the Russian Black See Fleet and for the overall atmospherics that he creates in relations between our peoples, between the brotherly peoples of Ukraine and Russia.

I want to ask you for a favor. And to make a wish too. Take care of yourselves — yourselves and those around you. Let us say no to reck...reckless racing and reckless driving. [raises voice] L-o-n-g l-i-v-e U-k-r-a-i-n-e! L-o-n-g l-i-v-e R-u-s-s-i-a! Long live the bike! [parting shot in lower-voice comic-sounding Ukrainian]

Woo hoo! Long live the legacy of Russia's Ukrainization!

Videos embedded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165914.html
http://news.tochka.net/48916-luzhkov-vse-eshche-khochet-vernut-sevastopol-video
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2010/07/24/5246612

Original sources:
http://inter.ua
http://lenta.tv
http://www.vesti.ru

Yanukovych Preps Azarov for Ukrainian (Off-Air Leak)

Language barriers exist between Ukraine’s top two officials, in violation of the law.

Well, who gives a vuzeli about the laws and the languages anyway?

President Yanukovych [informal Russian]: Well, I’ll be addressing you...in the Ukrainian language. [switches to formal Ukrainian] Mykola Yanukovych [name, patronymic], I would like to hear you out...on the current situation — on issues of relevance.

Not quite as dramatic as Tymoshenko’s “everything’s gone” leak, but still didactic.

Keep them coming, guys!

Watch another snippet of the conversation.



Azarov gloats over the drought in Russia, which, he says, bodes well for Ukraine’s agricultural exports.

Which actually means the grain traders and VAT rebate folks will line their pockets, leaving the farmers with nickels and dimes.

Videos embedded from:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/person/4c470acd5e2a1
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165648.html
Original source:
http://www.1tv.com.ua

Yanukovych Addresses Nation on Sovereignty Day

To Yanukovych, sovereignty means something else.

President Yanukovych: As president of the state and as the guarantor of the Constitution, I am filled with resolve to secure the internal and external political factors that will allow our people to feel that government irresponsibility has once and for all become a thing of the past. European prospects and developing strategic relations with centers of world politics, including the Russian Federation, will secure us economic prosperity and social progress. Thus, with dignity, we will carry on with the cause initiated twenty years ago. Happy holidays to you, dear compatriots!

2:22-3:06

Want to study one of the world’s funniest languages? Try Ukrofficialese.

OK, what else, Mr. President? Constitution! That name rings a bell. You two are shacking up at Mezhyhirya, right?

How generous of you to spend €1M of your €23K/year salary on those birthday party artists. After all, your official salary makes up 1000% of Ukraine’s nominal GDP per capita.

Makes Ukraine’s flag go upside down!





Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165303.html
Original source: http://5.ua
Photos: http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/15/5224135

Tymoshenko: ‘Very Big Business’ > 1/2 My Life

She’s not a church mouse anymore. She’s richer, smarter and holier.

Holier than Yanukovych.

Yulia Tymoshenko: Uh...I...uh...spent more than half of my life doing very big business — very big business. That’s a business that had billions of...uh...revenue...

Mustafa Nayem: You have some savings left?
Tymoshenko: Definitely! Definitely! And these savings...they...uh...at that time, I...didn’t have to disclose them...

Nayem: They’re in Ukraine?
Tymoshenko: ...because I was not an official. Uh...all these savings...they do exist, and we as a family are using them.
Nayem: Aha!

Tymoshenko: So the difference is, I was in business, and Yanukovych hasn’t been a single day in business.
Nayem: Aha!

Tymoshenko: Difference number two, you’re now being present at my home. This home is being rented. This home has never in its whole life belonged to the state.
Nayem: How? By who?

Tymoshenko: It’s being rented by my family. Directly. My husband has a rental agreement.
Nayem: Aha!

Tymoshenko: And I want all officials to rent homes like I do — private homes — or let them rent apartments, and not take them away from the state.

So she says she spent more than half of her life doing very big business? Let's do the math here.

Small business became legal in the USSR in 1986-1988.

In 1988, Tymoshenko (b. 1960) and her husband started a chain of small VCR-powered movie theaters, immensely popular amid perestroika’s passion for Western culture.

In 1997, Tymoshenko assumed her first public office, a seat in Ukraine’s parliament.

All of which suggests that:

A. Tymoshenko misspoke.
B. Tymoshenko is a teenager.
C. Tymoshenko (aka Gas Princess) stayed in business after being elected.
D. Both B and C are correct.



What do you think?

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/164193.html
Original source: http://tvi.ua
Image: http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/photos/471dff6b3c7df/

Yanukovych Goes Dirty Dancing at His 60th Anniversary Party

Still got that spark, huh?



Music: Philipp Kirkorov, People’s Artist of Ukraine (Yushchenko’s 2008 choice).

Dance partners spotted:

Yanukovych+Lyudmyla Kuchma (Kuchma’s wife)
Yanukovych+Akimova
Bohatyryova+Kuchma
Bohatyryova+Klyuev
Kuchma+Olena Franchuk (Kuchma’s daughter)
Franchuk+Klyuev
Akhmetov+Pinchuk (free hugs oligarchfest)
Zvyahilsky (Hava Nagila, solo)

Anybody seen First Lady Lyudmyla Yanukovych?



And where the hell is Lady HaHa?



Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/164838.html Original source: http://lifenews.ru
Images:
http://img.tabloid.pravda.com.ua/images/doc/0/4/04cda-dr5.jpg
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/17252/person_id/2.phtml

‘Vuzeli’ (Yanukovych Misspells Vuvuzela on His 60th B-Day)

If you want something misspelled or misplaced, ask Yanukovych.

He’s already done this to countries, continents, names, guests and job titles. The list goes on.



The next time “Esteemed Madam Secretary General” Clinton drops by, she’ll probably discover more of his God-given potential.

In the meantime, Herman Van Rompuy, the president of the European Council, came to claim his fair share.

As he congratulated Yanukovych on his 60th anniversary, a spelling bee invaded Ukraine's airspace. And, presto, Yanukovych found himself declining the noun vuvuzela as vuzeli instead of vuvuzeli!



I pity the smartass who put the V-word on his talking points.

He or she better grab that bike (a useless gift from democracy-starved reporters) and get the hell out of the country.



Anyway, I hope the lavish birthday party, attended by throngs of officials, oligarchs and celebs (including Lara Fabian), more than compensated for the faux pas.



Que Dieu Aide Les *Oligarques*



God Help the *Oligarchs*





Happy Birthday, Your Holine$$!

Sources:
http://tsn.ua/ukrayina/yanukovich-pripustivsya-konfuzu-schodo-gillari-klinton.html
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/9/5211925/ http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/9/5212649/ http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/9/5210985/
http://infocorn.org.ua/2010/07/06/svyat_pomnyalysya_teper_na_kon__yanukovych_z_nmbom

Anthem Plays, Yanukovych Walks (Protocol Disaster)

When the music plays, it’s showtime!

I mean look at Yanukovych, Master of International Law.



Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa will definitely remember that. And the dead microphone too.

To accommodate the novelty-seeking behavior, Ukraine's anthem chose to remain silent.

If Ceylon Tea ever needs a maverick image, they know where to look for ideas.

Later, two typos popped up at the Sri Lanka-Ukraine business forum: “Высокоповажність” and “Co-chaird.”

(Not to mention “Yanukovich,” but that's nitpicking.)




Proofreading can be a little too complex to be outsourced to our Presidential Administration.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/163837.html
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2010/06/30/5186002