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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Ukraine in Geopolitical Cartoons

What do you make of Ukraine?

Spotted this street exhibit while walking down Khreshchatyk last Sunday.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Afghan Vets Almost Storm Parliament Over Pension Cuts

Their war isn't over.

The government will mostly likely back down. No government can afford protesters with combat experience.

Not even the world's 134th transparent government
(out of 178).

The government that puts Ukrainians out of their misery.


Monday, September 19, 2011

FEMEN in Anti-Prostitution/Euro 2012 Porn Stunt in Poland

“We don't want this kind of Euro!”

Ladies, you should have done this at the Yulia European Strategy summit.

The folks there should know more about the dangers of sex tourism.


Friday, September 16, 2011

Police Thwart Anti-Yanukovych T-Shirt Sale in Kyiv

It’s the police state’s job to keep humor in short supply. And fail.

First, they raided the company premises, then they cracked down on its sales effort.

OK, those T-shirts haven’t hit the market yet. I mean, physically. But guess what? More juice came out thanks to this crackdown.

Which doesn’t really hurt the “Thank you Donbas!” [for that dumbass] brand.


FEMEN Pose As Hookers to Expose Corrupt Cops

“Everybody wants a slice of the pie.”

That's how one madam put it, referring to the Hr. 150 ($18.75) “law enforcement” tax that every hooker has to pay every night.

What did the cops say? Forward the issue to our public affairs department!

$500 an hour (FEMEN's asking price)? Sounds like a brand new iPad!

But that's not enough to make Paris “$1M
Kyiv gig Hilton blush.


Friday, September 09, 2011

Yanukovych: ‘Conditions Are Being CreMated for Entrepreneurship Development’ (Freudian Slip)

Too bad he didn't mention it in “Opportunity Ukraine.”

Yanukovych: Serious steps have been made on the pathway to reform: Pension and land reforms have been initiated, as well as health care, education, housing and urban development reforms. Conditions are being cremated for entrepreneurship development, a campaign to fight corruption has been launched.

He went off-script. He had to tell the truth. The brutal truth. Instead of створюються (stvo-ryu-yut-sya/created), he opted for спотворюються (spo-tvo-ryu-yut-sya), which literally means to twist or pervert. To keep the poetry in the translation, I came up with a rhyme for created.

So you can't accuse him of plagiarism on this one. In 2010 alone, some 400,000 small businesses closed up shop under pressure from the new tax code.

Why pay higher taxes? Well, here’s why. Welcome to Sukholuchchya!

It’s Yanukovych’s 91,429 acre hunting preserve, a private maximum security gulag, not far from his Mezhyhirya principality. Guarded by masked militia and Ukraine’s secret service.


Friday, September 02, 2011

Woman, 65, Gets 10 Days for Messing With Yanukovych

He hears everyone, remember?

Shevchenko, we love you! We love the Ukrainian people! And this disaster [Yanukovych] has to go away. Go away you freaking con!

And go away he does. Back to his Mezhyhirya principality. In one of those old school Soviet choppers. (His brand new $17M richer-than-Marine One chopper needs a break from time to time.)

It’s times like this that help him get the big picture and write books like “Opportunity Ukraine.”

Btw, some Ukrainians have already taken that opportunity! They're putting the ruling Party of Regions offices to good use. By shitting on them. Literally.