Putin [addresses Russian bikers in Russian]: Tomorrow is Russian Navy Day. Let me greet all navy personnel with this holiday! [applause] And tomorrow Ukrainian and Russian naval personnel will be together — just as they were together — just as our peoples were together for many many centuries, in times of trials and tribulations. And tomorrow they will be together. And for this I want to give special thanks to the leadership...of Ukraine, most notably to President Yanukovich Viktor Fiodorovich [Rus: second name, first name, patronymic], both for the decision...[roar of applause]...both for the decision on the Russian Black See Fleet and for the overall atmospherics that he creates in relations between our peoples, between the brotherly peoples of Ukraine and Russia.
I want to ask you for a favor. And to make a wish too. Take care of yourselves — yourselves and those around you. Let us say no to reck...reckless racing and reckless driving. [raises voice] L-o-n-g l-i-v-e U-k-r-a-i-n-e! L-o-n-g l-i-v-e R-u-s-s-i-a! Long live the bike! [parting shot in lower-voice comic-sounding Ukrainian]
Woo hoo! Long live the legacy of Russia's Ukrainization!
President Yanukovych [informal Russian]: Well, I’ll be addressing you...in the Ukrainian language. [switches to formal Ukrainian] Mykola Yanukovych [name, patronymic], I would like to hear you out...on the current situation — on issues of relevance.
Not quite as dramatic as Tymoshenko’s “everything’s gone” leak, but still didactic.
Keep them coming, guys!
Watch another snippet of the conversation.
Azarov gloats over the drought in Russia, which, he says, bodes well for Ukraine’s agricultural exports.
Which actually means the grain traders and VAT rebate folks will line their pockets, leaving the farmers with nickels and dimes.
President Yanukovych: As president of the state and as the guarantor of the Constitution, I am filled with resolve to secure the internal and external political factors that will allow our people to feel that government irresponsibility has once and for all become a thing of the past. European prospects and developing strategic relations with centers of world politics, including the Russian Federation, will secure us economic prosperity and social progress. Thus, with dignity, we will carry on with the cause initiated twenty years ago. Happy holidays to you, dear compatriots!
2:22-3:06
Want to study one of the world’s funniest languages? Try Ukrofficialese.
OK, what else, Mr. President? Constitution! That name rings a bell. You two are shacking up at Mezhyhirya, right?
How generous of you to spend €1M of your €23K/year salary on those birthday party artists. After all, your official salary makes up 1000% of Ukraine’s nominal GDP per capita.
She’s not a church mouse anymore. She’s richer, smarter and holier.
Holier than Yanukovych.
Yulia Tymoshenko: Uh...I...uh...spent more than half of my life doing very big business — very big business. That’s a business that had billions of...uh...revenue...
Mustafa Nayem: You have some savings left? Tymoshenko: Definitely! Definitely! And these savings...they...uh...at that time, I...didn’t have to disclose them...
Nayem: They’re in Ukraine? Tymoshenko: ...because I was not an official. Uh...all these savings...they do exist, and we as a family are using them. Nayem: Aha!
Tymoshenko: So the difference is, I was in business, and Yanukovych hasn’t been a single day in business. Nayem: Aha!
Tymoshenko: Difference number two, you’re now being present at my home. This home is being rented. This home has never in its whole life belonged to the state. Nayem: How? By who?
Tymoshenko: It’s being rented by my family. Directly. My husband has a rental agreement. Nayem: Aha!
Tymoshenko: And I want all officials to rent homes like I do — private homes — or let them rent apartments, and not take them away from the state.
So she says she spent more than half of her life doing very big business? Let's do the math here.
Small business became legal in the USSR in 1986-1988.
In 1988, Tymoshenko (b. 1960) and her husband started a chain of small VCR-powered movie theaters, immensely popular amid perestroika’s passion for Western culture.
In 1997, Tymoshenko assumed her first public office, a seat in Ukraine’s parliament.
All of which suggests that:
A. Tymoshenko misspoke. B. Tymoshenko is a teenager. C. Tymoshenko (aka Gas Princess) stayed in business after being elected. D. Both B and C are correct.
If you want something misspelled or misplaced, ask Yanukovych.
He’s already done this to countries, continents, names, guests and job titles. The list goes on.
The next time “Esteemed Madam Secretary General” Clinton drops by, she’ll probably discover more of his God-given potential.
In the meantime, Herman Van Rompuy, the president of the European Council, came to claim his fair share.
As he congratulated Yanukovych on his 60th anniversary, a spelling bee invaded Ukraine's airspace.And, presto, Yanukovych found himself declining the noun vuvuzela as vuzeli instead of vuvuzeli!
I pity the smartass who put the V-word on his talking points.
Anyway, I hope the lavish birthday party, attended by throngs of officials, oligarchs and celebs (including Lara Fabian), more than compensated for the faux pas.
Nothing has changed since the Clintons first visited Ukraine in 1995.
Except that the Baltics (buy) became Europe, and Ukraine (sell) remains Eurasia.
Otherwise, it’s all the same: same speeches, same shibboleths.
Bill Clinton (May 12, 1995): But your efforts will not be in vain, because the course is right, even if the path is difficult. The toil is bitter, but the harvest is sweet, as the old Proverb says. In time, your transformation will deliver better, more prosperous lives and the chance for you and your children to realize your God-given potential. You and your children will reap the harvest of today's sacrifices.
In the pursuit of peace and prosperity, you have been well-served by President Kuchma and his government's bold and farsighted leadership. You should know this: As you build your future, the United States will stand with you.
Now, compare that oldie to this newie:
Hillary Clinton (July 2, 2010): Ukraine matters not just to Ukrainians; Ukraine matters to the world. Because there are so many opportunities for Ukraine to assume a position of prominence and influence in the region, in Europe, and even beyond. An open, innovative Ukraine has much to offer. When I look at the students who graduate from this institute, and know that you are among the best of the world, I see limitless possibilities.
And the world is looking to you to secure your democracy, grow your economy, deepen your integration with your...and create the conditions that will allow you and every Ukrainian citizen to make the most of your God-given potential. The United States wants to be your partner.
3:53-4:52
Fifteen years go by, and guess what? Our “God-given potential” keeps going strong!
What, no “stand with you’s” this time?
Hillary Clinton (July 2, 2010): So no matter where one lives in the world today there is always a temptation to get discouraged, dispirited, give up on the promise of democracy because it is a slow and sometimes messy process. And I'm here to urge to do just the opposite: to work even harder to strengthen your democracy, to build more civil society, to empower your media, to ensure that your future here in Ukraine is as positive as you deserve it to be. Now, this work is never easy.
2:22-3:04
It’s never easy when you’re caught between a “reset” and a hard place.
And here's what that place looks like.
Back to the Clinton speech:
I discussed the importance of defending these rights with your president, and he has made a commitment to uphold Ukraine’s democracy, to strengthen the rule of law, to maintain a strong respect for human rights.
Anyway, in case you missed it, he has already broken that “commitment.”
As you tried to commit him to liberty, some protesters ended up committed to a lockup.
The United States applauds these statements and we welcome these commitments, but we recognize that rhetoric alone has not changed the game. These statements need to be followed by with concrete actions. And we have said very clearly to the Ukrainian government that we will help to make sure that these values and freedoms are protected.
8:02-8:30
Exactly! And to be honest, what you’re saying sounds like pure rhetoric. At least, that's been my impression so far.
It’s important, too, that we look at how to promote broadly based prosperity. One of the problems in societies around the world today is that too much of the productivity of the economy is going to too few — too few people. The political and economic elites are realizing the vast majority of benefits from economic activity.
8:31-8:59
I hope the Clinton Foundation no longer accepts donations from our elites. Or am I being a little too audacious here?
That IMF loan really hits the spot! We lose our nukes, you help our crooks. Again. The Clinton model of U.S.-Ukrainian relations lives on. Let's call it “Thanking the Thieves 2,” shall we?
Oh, sorry, thanking the elites. Our elites can't live without more luxury clothing, cars, jets and villas. And we, the ordinary people, can't live without footing the bill, right?
Naturally, I couldn’t find any videos of Bill Clinton’s Shevchenko University address. But, surprisingly, I found this.
