Party of Regions (Yanukovych/coalition), 29% Batkivshchyna (Tymoshenko/opposition), 13.5% Strong Ukraine (Tihipko/coalition), 12% Front of Change (Yatsenyuk/opposition), 5.4% Svoboda (Tyahnybok/opposition), 3.6% People’s Party (Lytvyn/coalition), 3.2% Communist Party (Symonenko/coalition), 3.1%
In the chemistry of ads, one can detect a strong prevalence of fingerpointex over populismol.
As for me, I prefer this.
In Kyiv, we had a snap local election in 2008, so we’ll pass on this one.
OK, let's get this party started.
People’s Party: 100% populismol
Vote for the “normal” guys who'll make your life “normal.” Astroturfing testimonials. Obviously, Lytvyn tries to distance himself from the “abnormal” coalition that he’s a “paranormal” part of.
A couple of more things. He had a role in the Gongadze murder, right? On top of that, he owns luxury real estate from Taxpayer Real Estate.
Party of Regions: “The party that builds”
Don’t let the Orange time machine throw you back, blah blah blah.
Party of Regions: “Building the New Country”
Whinium, fingerpointex, goodtimex, feelgoodex.
Party of Regions: “Building the New Country” (choreography)
Footloose meets Frankenstein...
Party of Regions: We’re left holding the “Hr. 300,000,000” debt bag
Whinium, bullshitium, fingerpointex, stabilnist whoreship, call to apply for gas subsidies (352,000 households approved as of Sept. 1; the rest must be “rich”)
Batkivshchyna (Fatherland/Tymoshenko): “Reclaim Ukraine,” “They’re building the New Country without Ukraine,” “without you”
Not bad, but no meaculpadeine.
Batkivshchyna: “Only Batkivshchyna will protect you”
Anti-government; attacks prices, corruption, land grabs; but too much paternalismin.
Svoboda (Freedom/Tyahnybok): “Who else will protect your rights in local legislatures?”
Positivex (takes pains to reposition itself from negativex)
Strong Ukraine (Tihipko): “The time has come for the strong ones”
F**k-me-in-both-ears populismol. From a joke of a Yanukovych-friendly party that Merkel should sue for trademark infringement and foul language (picked up by a sensitive mic on a live broadcast).
Green Party: “The future belongs to the Green Party”
Slice-of-death/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel dramedy; another gold-digger, no green credentials except tons of greenbacks spent on ads.
Watch Vice PM Borys Kolesnikov test-drive a Lviv bus.
Looking good, isn't he?
Too bad he didn’t notice that highway patrol car parked on the roadside.
Voice from the bus: “It’s OK! It’s OK! Nothing will happen to that cops’ car!”
That’s what happens when you break the law — “business as usual” for Ukraine’s elites.
In Ukraine, to drive buses, you need a D driver’s license. (Which doesn’t quite match Kolesnikov’s B license.)
That same day, Kolesnikov bought a replacement car and proudly declared himself ready to face the law. (Which means no one made him face it right away.)
And what does the law say? It says he should be fined $75 and his driver's license suspended.
But can you really do that to a guy who wears a $420,000 watch?
Yanukovych: I’m surprised...by your question. Surprised. BBC reporter: Why?
Yanukovych [takes a deep breath]: What roads do top officials use? You just...I...I’ll tell you that...do some research. I know what people are saying. I’m saying this myself. I’m saying this myself. Do some research on how many roads were reconstructed and built last year and how many this year. Not that it makes me tick, but I’ll tell you at least twice as many. Do it. It’s official data. That’s first of all. Second of all, undoubtedly, from the highways we should move on to roads of...sec...secondary importance, ones that are used by...those [ordinary] people...uh...and...these roads...should be...put in order as well. The problem did not arise overnight. It’s...uh...what we inherited from our predecessors. Check out the stats. Do you believe the stats or not? Take a look at what was done during the [last] five years by our predecessors in any given area. Take any indicator. You’ll see that it all went like this. Downhill. Why? Try answering this question. Just be honest. Unbiased. Yes, that goes for you too. I would like to have journalists tell the truth. I really would like to. Now that will be freedom of speech. So I’m telling you: Year after year...there will be increases in the volume of roads being built, road reconstruction and road quality. This issue has been set forth harshly, and it will be implemented.
Did you hear that? Yeah, it’s him! It’s the “Ukraine for the People”-“I hear everyone”- “red-hot iron” man speaking.
You may remember him serving as PM (August 2006 through December 2007).
Now that he’s been promoted...
...how about we ask him a couple of questions?
Why did he spend 50 million tax hryvnias on his Mezhyhirya home-sweet-home road?
Let me guess. Euro 2012 made him do it!
At least, that’s the official explanation supplied by Ukravtodor, the state-run ($15M/km ‘08) road construction company.
And what about those rural roads and the low-caste aborigines that use them? They can wait. The Millennium Development Goals told him so, right?
Forget the Yanukovych-only road. Try the Mezhyhirya one! There’s room for everyone now. What’s good for Yanukovych is good for Ukraine!
Still mad at him for blocking traffic as he passes by? Wait until he goes airborne!
He also blames Ukraine for the gas-meat-milk wars of 2006-2010.
Vice PM Tyhipko: We had problems for 5 years, ones that were...uh...caused primarily by politics, by Ukraine’s politics, I believe. And I can say that many Ukrainian companies were suffering because of this, suffering badly. The normalization of relations has now resolved these issues.
It would a shame not to recall Aesop’s The Wolf and the Lamb, poetically adapted by Russian fabulist Ivan Krylov:
«Ах, я чем виноват?» — «Молчи! устал я слушать, Досуг мне разбирать вины твои, щенок! Ты виноват уж тем, что хочется мне кушать». — Сказал и в тёмный лес Ягнёнка поволок.
In other words, “ANY EXCUSE WILL SERVE A TYRANT.” And Tihipko.
If they do a remake of “See No Evil, Hear No Evil,” Bill Clinton should be in it!
In 1995, Clinton told Ukrainians that “The toil is bitter, but the harvest is sweet.” “In the pursuit of peace and prosperity, you have been well-served by President Kuchma and his government's bold and farsighted leadership,” he added.
At that point, Kuchma made a bold and farsighted decision. He traded the world’s third-largest nuclear arsenal for what would become a billion-dollar fortune in one of Europe’s poorest countries.
Clinton? He keeps coming back to what’s now the land of opportunity for the oligarchs and their friends.
Let’s hear what he has to say, shall we?
Bill Clinton: After the election, nobody was put in jail, nobody was poisoned...
Well, one reporter went missing, some got beaten, and the Constitution got raped. But that’s OK with you, right?
Ever seen a comedy starring presidents and oligarchs? Try YES.
The 7th annual oligarchfest has attracted the greatest number of VIPs so far.
Javier Solana and Aleksander Kwaśniewski (permanent fixtures, to name just a few).
Moving on: Bill Clinton... How much this time, Bill?
That much?
Bruce Jackson reportedly showed up too. (Mr. McCain, as you support Ukraine, who do your associates support?)
And, YES, there was no shortage of comedy: premoderated questions, canned answers, misspelled names and communication gaps.
Solana: Would you go to Brussels again if you were elected president today?
Yanukovych [in Ukrainian]: Yes, there’s...there’s this really old proverb, a Ukrainian one, I guess [switches from Ukrainian to Russian]: “Sapogi dorogu znayut.” [“The boots know the road.”] That’s why...
Moderator: Let’s hope, then, you have good sapogi!
Yanukovych promised tax breaks for small businesses. Read his lips now.
And watch Mykhailo Brodsky’s 29 seconds of fame.
Yanukovych: You had...have no idea how many...enemies you’ve made over this short period of time. But I understand very well...who your friends and your enemies are. Your friends are entrepreneurs, and your enemies are officials...who...whose bread you’re taking away, so to speak. Because over the years, their pockets have reached their feet, you know.
Many entrepreneurs would argue the opposite.
And it’s not just those secondhand clothing dealers who supply Ukrainians with used but quality stuff they can afford.
