Ukrainiana

Kefirman Azarov to Rada Minority: "Screw You!"

Elitism aside, emotions can be just as hard to contain for Vice Premier Mykola Azarov. Seeking support needed to override the presidential budget veto, Kefirman came soliciting before the Verkhovna Rada.

Rumors of BYuT’s Faustian deal with the Anticrisis Coalition did little to alleviate the heightened speech anxiety he must have experienced due to the polarity in the audience. It didn’t take long before his rhetorical molecules reached the boiling point. With a bad-tempered yet non-offensive hand gesture, Kefirman shot back at his scoffers, “Da poshli vy!”

What followed was a tornado of laughter and mock applause from BYuT and NSNU. “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself,” as Madonna put in “Human Nature.”

Azarov has already discovered a lyrical niche in the anatomy of Russian-Ukrainian relations. His thanksgiving single “For Distinguished Service in Reviving Ukraine,” devoted to Russian MP Konstantin Zatulin, topped Ukraine’s political Billboard.

In fact, the single was more of an award, as it came in the form of a medal of honor — custom-commissioned by Azarov. Wait until you hear this. Konstantin Zatulin, the beneficiary, currently ranks on the SBU’s persona non grata list for meddling in Ukrainian internal affairs.

Perhaps, if maestro Azarov sat on the Board of Governors at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, he would backorder an Oscar for Osama bin Laden.