$200 Knee Surgery Takes Yanukovych to Spain on Private Jet Worth $7,000-12,000 per Hour

Having sustained a tennis trauma that reportedly costs about $200 to repair locally, Yanukovych instead opted for royal treatment sponsored by his friends, writes Obkom, the Ukrainian blog. Not bad for a country with a GDP per capita of about 8K (PPP)? To carry the point further, he and his wife live on a per capita monthly income of $700. Well, that’s what his personal income statement says. (You’re not buying any of this, are you?)

Señor Yanukovych’s passion for Spanish surgical craftsmanship adds yet another episode to his burgeoning catalog of splashy, Paris Hilton-like appearances, which includes

• a voyage to Athens on a luxurious cruise liner as head of the Ukrainian delegation to the 2004 Olympics

• a pair of designer shoes worth $1,285 in which he extravagantly set foot on the floor the Council of Europe

So what’s the difference? Paris Hilton ends up with a few weeks jail time for DUI and our man remains on the loose. He’s unstoppable and untouchable.

Surrogacy an Option for Chernovetsky’s Businesslike Deputy

Irena Kilchytska, Kyiv’s vivacious 38-year-old Deputy Mayor and former Pravex Bank Vice President, has more revelations. Aside from professing Christianity while expecting her firstborn by a boyfriend of unknown identity, what more could she impress us with? In an interview with Ukrainian daily Fakty, Kilchytska elaborated on her family planning, unveiling a vision that may strike traditional believers as a bit unorthodox.

So here are some memorable quotes from a self-made lady who takes pains to “project an image of success at all times” (American Beauty) and exudes the sort of acrid affluenza that Paris Hilton can only dream about.

Слава Богу, ни в каком отдыхе и реабилитации, как беременная женщина, я весь этот срок не нуждалась. Но не уверена, что так же будет с последующими моими детьми, которых я планирую иметь. Не исключаю, что следующего моего ребенка доверю вынашивать суррогатной матери.

Но полет в космос, клонирование и прочие достижения прогресса тоже поначалу казались чем-то страшным и непонятным. Сегодня это уже явь. Я не пророк, но думаю, лет через десять к суррогатному материнству женщины будут прибегать не только в том случае, когда сами не могут выносить детей. Многие деловые занятые женщины, которые пробиваются в жизни сами, а не сидят на шее у мужчины, захотят иметь собственного ребенка, не отвлекаясь на его рождение. И будут пользоваться услугами суррогатных матерей.

Thank God, I’ve experienced no need for rest and rehabilitative therapy throughout my pregnancy term. But I’m not sure that this will be the case with the babies I’m going to have next. I wouldn’t discount the possibility that my next child will be borne by a surrogate mother.

But space travel, cloning, and other advances in the progress of humankind, too, initially came as something terrific and incomprehensible. Now it’s history. I’m not a prophet, but I believe that ten years from now women will be opting for surrogate motherhood not just when they can’t bear children physically. Many time-strapped business women who are out there making it on their own and are not dependent on their partners will want to have a baby without diverting much time to its birth. And they will use the services of surrogate mothers.

Careful as we should be not to step on gender issues and the progress of humankind, let’s pause to note that space travel must have supplied the theme for Kilchytska’s boss, Mayor Chernovetsky (aka Lyonya Kosmos, or Leo the Loony). Quite a few Kyivites would spend their last hryvnya to buy him a one way-ticket to the Moon.

And what about all those Buck$treet Boys squatting in the City Hall? (Two of Chernovetsky’s male deputies are former Pravex Bank employees in their twenties.) This may sound like player haterism of the purest kind, but we expect them to resort to surrogate fatherhood as well?

Of course, in a depopulating nation children are more than welcome, regardless of the biological know-how. But the thought of some children being born “more equal” than others becomes unbearable. A surrogate democracy is not an option.