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Monday, May 07, 2007

Shape-Shifting & Sharp-Shooting
Tymo Sides with Sarko; Blasts Moro, Yanuk in Controversial Joke

Following a “flexitime” accord between Yushchenko and Yanukovych, Tymoshenko has produced two riveting soundbites that could well be considered as an opening to her campaign.

In the first one, whether impromptu or not, she expressed solidarity with Nicolas Sarkozy, obviously targeting a well educated audience familiar with the intricacies of the French presidential election. That audience, in light of her recent containment drive, may also include her can club in Washington.

Most likely, her passionate overture hasn’t registered with the wider Ukrainian audience. Brushing off any notion of girlpower, Tymo made a cautions attempt to reposition from left-of-center to right-of-center. Her case offers yet another testimony of the grotesque levels of ideological volatility present in Ukrainian politics. (I’m sure the unfavorable endorsement did little to impact Ségolène Royal's chances.)

Having come out of the closet, she indulged in a fable-like joke that mixed sex with politics. Ukrayinska Pravda has the details.

Білочка і зайчик покохали один одного і створили родину. І почали жити, кохати один одного, а діти не народжуються. І вони пішли до мудрої сови і питають: "Що нам робити? Ми білочка і зайчик створили родину, а діти не народжуються. Це чому? Тому що ми такі різні, ми білочка і зайчик?". А сова подивилася і каже: "Ні! Тому що ви обидва хлопчики.

То я хочу вам сказати, що поєднувати те, що не поєднується, неможливо. Ні шансу, ні природного шляху немає. І завжди закінчується відсутністю дітей, шановні друзі.

A squirrel and a rabbit fell in love and started a family. And so they started living together, loving each other, but alas, no kids. And so they came to the wise owl for advice, asking, “What shall we do? We, squirrel and rabbit, have started a family but no children are born to us. Why? Is it because we’re so different — we, squirrel and rabbit?” The owl looked and said, “No, it’s because you’re boys.”

So I want to tell you that joining together what can’t be joined is impossible. There’s no chance, nor is there any natural way. And it always ends in an absence of kids, dear friends.
The joke provoked a roar of laughter from the reporters who attended her press conference. By American standards, of course, this kind of anthropomorphism would be termed as politically incorrect or outright homophobic.

In response to a question regarding the creation of a single opposition bloc, she quipped, “Things are not so bad since we have at least one girl here.” Sounds just as funny, doesn’t it? (If we take into account her opposition to the single bloc idea, and, even more so, if get to the bottom of that biopolitical — and self-deprecating — allegory she used.)


Anonymous said...

This is elmer.

Taras, you have some very penetrating, insightful, wonderful analysis.

I only wish that all of Ukraine was wired up with the Internet - that would get around a lot of the propaganda that still "zombirizes" a lot of Ukrainians.

Shape-shifting indeed.

I still don't get the rationale behind appointing "former" Kuchmists, like Piskun, or the 2 new judges, instead of someone completely new.

It seems that the "Ukrainian political elite" is a hard, plastic bubble, and noone can break through into the vaunted innner circle.

The plastic bubble is filled with sharks, who eat each other, but all one has to do survive is to declare a "new allegiance" and be "re-born" with a new loyalty oath.

The party list system simply leads to this kind of absurdity. There is no accountability to the people, and no sense of civic responsibility.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it'd be considered homophobic in the US. It might be avoided in the US because homosexuality is a touchy issue here.

Here's a decent summary of my "moderate" view that eventually led to a significant dialogue in the comments with a gay-rights friend of mine.


Anonymous said...

It is a VERY dirty joke (in UA) and for a potentially future Madame Prez to be cracking a joke this is is sim. to the Queen farting. I am sure that it happens but should be on camera? at a press conference? Please some decorum or some excuse (Yeltsin would at least be drunk while exhibiting loutish behavior.)

It is another incident (on top of the slur against the Buryat people which also happened at a press conference)and hopefully will not happen again, nor in Ukraine or abroad during her travels. Perhaps this is a case of another Ukrainian politician who should stick to the script?


Taras said...

Thank you, Elmer:) I’ll do my best to fit that profile, and I guess you already fit it yourself;) You deserve a Medal of Honor from Orange Ukraine. I’m not a regular reader, but I’ve read your recent comments;)

Why reincarnate Piskun and Havrysh? It’s very simple. First, neither of them looks Orange. Second, both have, at this critical point, exhibited an eagerness to use their experience to provide a desired return on investment.

Once these picks get their mission accomplished, we should get rid of them. Unless we wipe the system clean, justice will not be done in this country.

I like your concept:) The Internet should refine that bubble to a fishbowl so that people could patrol it by putting their votes where their visions are.

Taras said...

David, I see where you’re coming from;) I dug up that dialogue a few months ago while cruising through your blog archive:))) (By the way, I consider myself a moderate too.)

I think you'd agree that liberal politicians in the U.S. would avoid such jokes for the very reason that they might be considered homophobic.

And that’s the root of the matter: I mentioned homophobia in a humorous sense, trying to contextualize it with the shocking scene of Tymo’s cross-dressing act, as she went from liberal to conservative in a matter of two soundbites. Still, to be fair, there’s hardly a major player in Ukraine that hasn’t exhibited bisexual patterns of behavior — politically speaking, of course.

Let us hope that Tymo will not run afoul of her fable and will not exercise her biopolitical imperative outside the Orange camp:)

Taras said...

Luida, I’d say it’s a dirty joke in the U.S., but not in Ukraine. As of today, homosexuality has lower acceptance levels in Ukrainian society. It’s a non-issue.

Not so in America. That sort of humor would probably put Mme Presidente in hot water on her U.S. trip, at least as far as the liberal media is concerned.

Anonymous said...

This is elmer again.

You've probably already seen this.

Here is what the zRada is up to - "playing the piano" with the voting machines.

A few members can "play" the voting machines in the zRada to get any result they like.

And it's not even in session - it's been dissolved!

It's really, really sick and disgusting.

Robert said...

I think everyone is getting too caught up in figuring out if the joke was too dirty or not and gorgetting to discuss the very good analagy the joke makes for Ukraine politics today. There really is no good way for one group (say... Rabits ) who want to return to the centrealized and monolithic control of the former soviet bosses in Moscow and another group (Say... Squirrels) who want to shake off the past, leave the control of big brother in Moscow and move closer to the rest of the world.

What she is saying here is the same thing she has been saying all along... you can't have it both ways

Anonymous said...

Elmer here.

I think Robert is right on this.

The focus of the joke is not on any sort of homophobia, but on the fact of biological impossibility.

You simply can't have it both ways, as Robert said.

Anonymous said...

elmer here again.

In the meantime ---------

This is a story linked from Foreign Notes.

About Kuchma's and his daughter's involvement in KyivStar, otherwise knows on the streets as KuchmaStar.

Corruption, corruption, corruption.

All with those nice-sounding words about "investment" to cover it up.

Sick, sick, sick.

Taras said...


The two animals in Tymo’s fable stand for Yanukovych and Moroz, the bad guys, both of whom are male and Moscow-oriented:) (Can’t argue with that:) However, Tymo, the femme fatale, often acts as a bad girl herself. We all know of her escapades with Yanukovych, and it was this new makeup she put on herself with the Sarkozy quote that prompted me to write this story. Any objections?:)

Well, maybe she just wanted to repair some of the damage done to Ukraine’s image by Serduchka:)

Taras said...


Perhaps Maestro Moroz and his orchestra should include piano lessons in the Coalition’s benefits package:) Or perhaps better yet, they could design some sort of strap-on tentacles:)))

Thanks for the KuchmaStar link;)

I’ve been following the battle for some time. Let me suggest a few corrections to that post, though: The head of Alfa Group is Mikhail Friedman, not Milton Friedman, the world-famous economist who died last year. And of course, we shouldn’t put “the” in front of Ukraine:) I hope the Kuchma family won’t object:)

Anonymous said...

elmer again.

With regard to the vote fraud in the zRada, and "playing the piano" with the voting machines, it would be easier if they just had wireless remote controls.


The "working group" discussions for the snap election seems to have been held up by the commies and socialists.

Who cares what they say?

I don't understand how these worthless pukes can hold up the whole process.

Taras said...

Well, they're the junior partners in the Coalition of National ImpUnity. They're part of the Yanukovych dreamteam. Since the Socialists have everything to lose and nothing to gain, they're the most endangered species. That explains the stubbornness:)

Anonymous said...

Robert - it is not about not having it both ways as it is not about Yanuk and Yush but but Moroz and PoR and why there are 'non-productive' as a couple. Sometimes a joke is just a joke and surface. You are trying to read into it something that is not there.


Anonymous said...

elmer - wireless? OMG! Then try catching them in the act! At least this way you get to see it in pictures.


Anonymous said...

elmer here.

This is off-topic.

Here is a brochure, with translation, for the PutinJugend.

The Putin version of Hitler Youth -"Nashi."

With translation.

There is nothing about democracy. Rather, it seems to me as if they are marching off to war. Sick.

Anonymous said...

elmer here.

While we're waiting for the shenanigans to end -------

The following armies fought among themselves on the territory of Ukraine in WWII: Wermacht, Red Army, and UPA (Ukrainian Partisan Army).

- For what did the Wermacht fight?

- For the Third Reich.

- For the Third Reich, eh?

- It's gone.

- For what did the Red Army fight?

- For the USSR.

- The USSR, eh?

- It's gone.

- For what did UPA fight?

- For an a free and independent Ukraine.

- For a free and independent Ukraine, eh?

- Yes.

Hail to the victorious Ukrainian Partisan Army!

Taras said...

After an extended weekend of celebrating my granny’s 86th birthday, as well as Serduchka’s second-best score with her renegade hit song “Russia Goodbye,” I am finally restored to you guys:)!

There’s no denying the fact that Stalinists make up the hardcore of the homini Sovietici. Most of them are elderly folks — the old guard — who never knew any better. However, let me repeat that it’s not the Soviet people fighting for Stalin that won the war, but, rather, the Soviet people fighting despite Stalin. In fact, at the outbreak of the war, Stalin relaxed his Gulag grip and even allowed extensive use of Russian Orthodox appeal in the Soviet war propaganda. Ironically, he came up with quite an unorthodox form of patriotism that directly violated the sacrosanct tenet of Marxism-Leninism: “Religion is the opium of the people.”

We all understand why he introduced it into the Communist canon: He did that on concern that the repressed Soviet people might decide it was payback time. In that case, his ex-buddy Hitler would have found the way to the Kremlin in no time. Still, Hitler, due to his Aryan creed and overconfidence, lacked a humanitarian perspective in his Barbarossa Plan. Lucky for Stalin, the atrocities committed by the Wehrmacht against the non-Russian peoples effectively prevented Hitler from building strong alliances with the locals.

May we never forget the many millions of Ukrainians who died in the world’s bloodiest wars, fighting for Ukraine’s freedom as they saw fit. Slava Ukrayini!