Kuzhel Wears $40K Watch, Rudkovsky Has Good Time

When she says bribe, she means a discount.

When she wears a $40K Frank Muller watch, what does she mean?


Oleksandra Kuzhel is something of a socialite, except that she runs the State Committee on Regulatory Policy and Entrepreneurship. Her official monthly salary hardly exceeds a few thousand dollars.



Mykola Rudkovsky no longer runs the Ministry of Transport. He’s unemployed.



Does this ladykiller/ladycarrier look like a man who’s going to jail for misappropriation?



Thank you, dear Tabloid, for yet another update on Yushchenko’s “one law for all!”

Sources:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/brand/49a416ee5c055/
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/photos/49ad40fcabff0/
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/photos/499d32c45a43f/

Rescue Raid Gone Awry

We didn’t understand why some 32 SWAT officers were invited, to put it mildly, for a "talk" with three MPs, as a result of which MP Lukyanov’s car, with Lukyanov inside, was displaced. When I came up and said, “What are you doing? There’s a live human being in that car,” for some reason, they lost composure and dropped it. And it so happened that they dropped it on my leg.

— MP and former Emergency Management Minister Nestor Shufrych, PRU recapturing his Friday “free Rudy” experience outside the private clinic Borys.

Nestor, you know more about emergencies that I do. Therefore, let me keep my pep talk simple and stupid: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. My high-octane cheerleader songbook of choice would be:

Tatu “Not Gonna Get Us”
Chip’n’Dale Rescue Rangers Theme
Meat Loaf “I’d Lie for You (And That’s the Truth)”

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/76510.html

Rudkovsky Gets Booked

Former Transport Minister Mykola Rudkovsky, who faces charges of embezzlement, was detained last weekend by the SBU for failure to cooperate with the investigation. On Monday, a court ruled that Mr. Rudkovsky be placed in custody.

Reporter: What's his blood pressure?
Paramedic: 110…170/110.

Nestor Shufrych, cheerleader: Is it normal?
Paramedic: No.

Reporter: Could you please tell us who called you, and why did you arrive so late?
Paramedic: I’m a paramedic. I came as I was called.

Reporter: Why are you claiming to be a paramedic?
Shufrych: Where did the ambulance come from?
Paramedic: Does it really matter?
Shufrych: Of course, it does.

Reporter: Please identify yourself. What’s your name and position?
Paramedic: I’m the chief of the physical therapy department at the SBU clinic.

Judge: [Due to the defendant’s failure] to comply with the procedural decision based on law, and in view of the fact that Rudkovsky has been charged with committing a felony of the gravest kind that carries a penalty of 7 to 12 years of imprisonment, and has not resided on his registered premises, and has, since December 21, breached his oath not to leave said premises, and has failed to appear before the investigator when summoned, it is the opinion of this court that there are grounds for altering the mode of preventive detention from the oath not to leave town to a stricter mode — incarceration.

Caption: Pechersk District Court
Soundtrack: Mikhail Krug "Vladimirsky Central"

Most experts believe Rudkovsky will be acquitted, a view that mirrors law enforcement’s abysmal track record of prosecuting high-profile suspects.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/75943.html
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/11/71406.htm
http://pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/11/71334.htm

Transport Minister Accused of Squandering $80,000 on Private Charter Flight to Paris

The mind boggles at how much wing clipping must be done to have our government work for our people, and not the other way around.

The SBU on Friday interrogated Minister of Transport and Communication Mykola Rudkovsky, a scandal-scarred member of the outgoing — hopefully — Yanukovych Cabinet.

Maryna Ostapenko, a spokeswoman for the SBU, linked Rudkovsky to an investigation warranted by Article 191 of the Ukrainian Criminal Code (Embezzlement, squandering, or misappropriation of property through abuse of authority.)

The investigation concerns a round-trip private jet flight to Paris on Jun. 9 through Jun. 12, paid for by the government, on which Rudkovsky, according to Tabloid (Ukr), was accompanied by Oleksandra Nikolayenko, Miss Ukraine 2001. Rudkovsky, who argues that the trip was part of an official visit, said that in the event it is established that an unauthorized person was on board, their airfare should be paid.

He claims not being aware of the high cost of his “official visit” while being fully aware that Lutsenko and Yatsenyuk have used the same privileges. He also claims being the target of reprisals for criticizing the purchase of a new Airbus jet for President Yushchenko. More quotes from Rudkovsky:

This wrathful reaction can be attributed to my principled position and to the efficiency of my work, while the flight itself was part of a state visit, which is supported by the submitted documents.

I would also like to state that throughout my term of office I have personally paid for a number of job-related trips, and I do not demand a reimbursement for these expenses.

Consider Yuriy Lutsenko — took more than ten trips with his family to Crimea. Consider Arseniy Yatsenyuk — paid for his trips from the budget and from the ministry's funds. I, as a Minister, know how much flying is done by the Chief of the Presidential Secretariat, by members of the Presidential Secretariat, and by the [President's] family.

If Mr. acting SBU Director is interested in my personal life, he'd better assume a position under my bed. Not much will be seen from there, but the hearing will be fine.

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/12/14/68459.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/12/14/68451.htm
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/scandal/47615ece70304
http://www.harmony.com.ua/newsua/070905-001s.jpg

A Phosphorus Test for the ‘Gov’t of Professionals’

Or should we say proffessionals? A total of 152 people have been hospitalized following the Monday train accident, 47 of them children.

A train carrying 15 tanks of liquid white phosphorus derailed near the western Ukrainian village of Ozhydiv, Lviv oblast. As a result, 6 tanks caught fire, releasing a toxic cloud that spread over an area of 35 sq miles. Residents of neighboring villages were evacuated, some of them using their own transportation.

Vice-Premier Oleksandr Kuzmuk, chief coordinator of the relief effort, initially compared the disaster to Chernobyl, but soon toned down his estimates. While the accident stands no comparison with Chernobyl, a Soviet-style cover-up campaign of sorts may well be the case.

In the face of parliamentary elections, Mr. Yanukovych — the No.1 Proffessional — needs to have his anatomy covered. At what cost? According to a report quoted in UP, to contain the negative publicity, clean up crews are forbidden to wear respirators.

It’s not so hard to believe, since former defense minister Kuzmuk, aka ‘Missile Man,’ has a proven record of experience in cover-up attempts. He denied role when, during a tactical missile exercise in 2000, a Tochka U hit a condo complex in Brovary, a town near Kyiv. In 2001, he was the last to take responsibility for accidentally shooting down a passenger plane in a Black Sea air defense exercise, which led to his resignation.

Last month, the SBU issued a memo that warned of a 68 percent wear-and-tear rate in the country's train pool. The Kazakh company that produced the Poland-bound cargo has vowed to repatriate the remaining tanks along with the contaminated soil.

The cause of the accident has yet to be determined. From media reports so far, it appears that investigators do not consider terrorism a top theory.

Photos courtesy of UNIAN

Still Don’t Believe in Socialism? Socialism Starts at Home!

Proletarians of all countries, check this out!

Ukrayinska Pravda continues with its housing survey of Ukraine’s top-ranking public officials. Its latest onsite inspection zeros in on the residence of Transport Minister Mykola Rudkovsky, a member of the Socialist Party.

According to publicly available records, in 2006 his family lived on a household income of $30,000. It must have been a bad year, since the mansion’s market value may be as high $5 m. One may wonder, however, why this piece of real estate is totally missing from the records. Do the math: Once sighted in an Aston Martin — James Bond’s car of choice — Rudkovsky denied ownership of that luxury vehicle.

UP remains hopeful that Minister Rudkovsky, who was not immediately available for comment, will share the secrets of his socialist success with the public.

Red Card for Rudkovsky
Transportation Minister Probed for Turkmenbashi 2-Bashing

Minister Mykola Rudkovsky, SPU, one of the founding fathers of the Anticrisis Coalition, stands accused of running a travel agency on the side. Las month, the agency sparked a diplomatic scandal between Kyiv and Ashabad when it hosted exiled Turkmen opposition leaders, or so they presented themselves.

In the middle of the night, Minister Rudkovsky called Ukrainian missions in Vienna and Varna, urging that visas be granted to the Turkmen by 5 am. The decision had been approved in the upper levels of government, he added.

What followed was a vain voyage of two former high-ranking Turkmen officials, Khudaiberdy Orazov and Nur-Mukhammed Hannamov, ex-Vice Premier and ex-Ambassador to Turkey, respectively. Their value offering: better access to Turkmen gas wells in exchange for some sort of support.

It’s no secret that experts see no challenger to Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, the heir apparent to the recently deceased Turkmenbashi. Therefore, the easy question is, what was Rudkovsky’s interest in all this and was it worth it? The tough one is, were those opposition guys the real McCoy and, if so, what matters more to Ukraine — taking care of number one or babysitting democracies yet to be born?

Whatever the answers, once the exiles showed up in Kyiv, the Turkmen Embassy lodged a sulfurous note of protest, informing the Ukrainian authorities that warrants for their arrest had been issued by Interpol.

After the visitors safely sneaked out of Ukraine, the scandal seemed to have died quietly. Until a Saturday piece in ZN shed light on the story. The article states that Rudkovsky’s travel business has incited the wrath of Yanukovych.

Rudkovsky is suing the author for defamation. He considers himself to be the target of a smear campaign of reprisals orchestrated by his former business partners, some of whom have found employment in the Secretariat of the President. He claims it all began with his bold decision to remove a score of state-owned enterprises from the privatization list.

The SBU and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs have launched separate probes. Both the Ukrainian Ambassador in Vienna and the Consul General in Varna have been relieved of their duties for issuing visas in violation of procedure. Apparently, the spasmodic turf wars so symptomatic of our government’s chronic gold/gas rush have acquired a Turkmen dimension.