National Exit Poll Results

PRU 35.2
BYuT 31,5
NUNS 13.4
KPU 5.1
LyB 3.7
SPU 2.5

http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/30/64689.htm

Happy retirement, Mr. Moroz. Welcome back, Mr. Lytvyn. You hold the "golden share."

President Yushchenko and First Lady Kateryna Yushchenko Cast Ballots




Voter turnout as of 4 p.m. Kyiv time (GMT+2:00): 42.55 percent
http://www.cvk.gov.ua/vnd2007/w6p063pt001f01=600.html
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/30/64623.htm

Yanukovych: No More Snap Elections in Ukraine If We Win

"Я думаю, що дострокових виборів в Україні вже не буде... Упевнений, що ми переможемо на цих виборах".

I believe that snap elections in Ukraine will no longer be held. I am confident that we will win this election.

This soundbite was extracted at the polling station where the Yanukovychs cast their ballots.

http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/30/64619.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/30/64626.htm

What Will This Day Bring? Stabilnist or Sunshine?






As Mulder put it, I want to believe.

Bonus pics: The Watchcats of Ukrainian Democracy

Regs on the Run, or Stabilnist on the Sidelines

Summary of the Ukrainian Parliamentary Campaign 2007
Who's Who in Political Advertising

Achievers: PRU, BYuT, NUNS, KPU
Strugglers: SPU, LyB, PSPU

PRU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Party_of_Regions
http://partyofregions.org.ua/eng/


Over the last year, our leaders have proved a lot to us. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions have proved that they have the experience and true leadership qualities to achieve results. What have the Orange Revolution leaders proved? That politicians unable to work together cannot run the government. That power is more important to them than improving the lives of ordinary people. Protect your future. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions: a proven track record of results for Ukraine.


Orange revolutionaries promised us a lot of good things. But instead of economic growth, we ended up with a surge in unemployment and a price hike. Instead of Ukraine’s recognition in the international arena we ended up in an argument with Russia. Instead of government reform, we witnessed incessant turf battles and corruption, which prompted Yushchenko to fire Tymoshenko. The inability of Orange leaders to work together is a proven fact. To get rid of the Orange chaos, vote Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions.


In a democracy the power belongs to the people. That’s why Viktor Yanukovych proposed the initiative to hold a referendum on making Russian a second official language, on adhering to a policy of nonalignment with regard to our foreign partners, and on empowering the people with the right to elect their governors directly, instead of kowtowing to the President’s cronies. Don’t waste your vote. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions. Protect your deepest values.


Why elect a PM candidate who was once fired for incompetence? The Tymoshenko government was sacked because its irresponsible policies had lead to economic contraction, artificial international conflicts and price hikes. Now she does not want to look the people in the eye, alleging that she has achieved a great success. But if she was such a good prime minister, then why would they fire her? The people know why, and will not let themselves be scammed again.


Together we can stop them. Tymoshenko and the Oranges are against a referendum on Russian as a second official language. They are dragging Ukraine into military alliances. They want to put their cronies and lyubi druzi in the governors’ seats in every oblast. The Party of Regions is initiating a referendum to stop their encroachments on our values. Don’t waste your vote. The Party of Regions. Protect your deepest values.

BYuT
http://ibyut.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yulia_Tymoshenko_Bloc


They cheated and sold out. They clang to their seats and reached for their guns. Betrayal and political corruption became a challenge for the country. But we didn’t crumble. We didn’t give in. There will be a new election. Justice has prevailed.


You are tired of politics. You think that your elected representatives forgot you and are fighting for power. True, there is a fight going on — between our political team and a few family clans that have pocketed three-thirds of Ukraine’s national wealth. They, relying on the power of money, have destroyed the victory of Maidan. Don’t be naive. They don’t care what language you speak; whether Ukraine will be independent or will merge into a new Soviet Union; whether we will be in NATO or not. What they do care about is how much money they will make off Ukraine. They are the shadowy lords of the companies you work for, and you vote as they say. They are buying television channels and are messing with your mind and choice. But I believe that in the early election you will break this vicious circle, and life will be born in Ukraine. And no matter how much they will defame me, make no mistake: In this great struggle I’m with you, and the time of your victory has finally come.


Michelle Nostradamus: Prophecy 2007

The Dame will gain power without any quarrel
Freedom, untaintedness, safety, and so
The plague of foul words shall have no more explosions
Without any war she will bring it closure


China’s economic miracle, Japan’s intellectual revolution, the great leap forward by Asian tigers such as South Korea and Taiwan. They’ve made a real breakthrough in the economies and sciences of their countries. We, too, are not satisfied with today’s questionable evolution. We offer our Ukrainian Breakthrough, a strategy for national development. This plan should finally be written by us, by our Ukrainian scientists and intellectuals. Let us stop relying on foreign consultants. We offer to create a national strategic assembly that will pool the intellectual potential of the country. Let us believe in ourselves and put forward living standards that will set an example for the entire globe. Share your ideas and knowledge with Ukraine. The new government, in the new Verkhovna Rada, will adopt the Ukrainian Breakthrough strategy. The time has come for real work to start.


Andriy Kozhemyakin, Major-General: Military reform is needed in Ukraine. Only a professional, combat-ready army can effectively protect the sovereignty of an independent Ukraine.
Mykola Kostrov, Rear Admiral: Young people should study, while the country’s defense should be entrusted to professionals, who will have fair pay and living conditions.
Mykola Petruk, Colonel-General: As early as next year, it is realistic to abandon conscription, and by the end of 2009 to finalize the сhangeover to a professional army. Ukraine’s rebirth starts with the rebirth of the Ukrainian armed forces.

NUNS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Ukraine
http://razom.org.ua


Corrupt official: Here you go. Check it one more time.
“Little Ukrainian:” Excuse me…
Corrupt official: And who’s this?
Official’s assistant: This is the “Little Ukrainian.”
Corrupt official: You mean the people? I see, get him out of here.
“Little Ukrainian:” But this is our country, too.
Official’s assistant: Elections are approaching.
Corrupt official: Okay. Here’s your salary, your pension, and here’s for the kids. Now go on and vote like you should.
Official’s assistant: Are you sure you didn’t give him too much?
Corrupt official: That will buy us a few more years in power.
Voiceover: They’re buying you. Don’t sell out. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense].



Where exactly is the Party of Regions headed when they talk about lifting parliamentary immunity? Last year, they demanded that the Rada not lift parliamentary immunity. Later on, they changed their point of view, having stated that immunity should be extended to members of their government. Now they agree with their opponents that immunity should be lifted. But they had more than 375 days to make it happen. The problem is that you never know what direction the Party of Regions will take.


People all over the country are suffering from officials’ unlawfulness. By lifting parliamentary immunity we want to lift the magnet that attracts mafia members to parliament, instead of attracting those who will write laws for the people. MPs must live by the same laws — without any allowances — must ride on our roads, use our hospitals, deal with our police and courts. So that they can feel the problems of ordinary people and change the laws for the better. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.


What can we expect from yet another Regionalist government? When President Yushchenko offered to raise the salaries of public school teachers and healthcare employees in the next year’s budget, the Regionalist government said no. Raise pensions by 35 percent? Again, no. Raise aid to large families? No! The government of Regionalists wants to be in power again. What will we tell them come Sept. 30? Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.


Tens of thousands of villages all over Ukraine don’t have a single ambulance. This is dangerous. This is unfair. We will reduce the fleet of luxury cars for government officials and members of parliament, and will provide every village with an ambulance. This is protection. This is fairness. The time for change has come. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.

KPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://www.kpu.net.ua


Who are you? A spiritual descendant of Vatutin and Kovpak or of Bandera and Shukhevych? A descendant of those who served Ukrainian Nazis or of those who saved humanity from the brown plague? Remember your name. Take care of your Fatherland. Our number on the ballot sheet is 13.


A mediocre spoof based on The Hunt for Two Rabbits (1961), a popular Soviet comedy about a late 19th-century Kyiv polygamist-con artist who courts two young ladies, but ends up with his cover blown and his plans ruined. In this ad, Svyryd Golokhvastov, the main character “impersonates” President Yushchenko

Golokhvastov: For us true patriots, the ideals of Maidan are higher than the Lavra Bellfry. And if from the heights of Bankova Street [Office of the President] you stare down, the folks underneath, with their problems, appear so teeny-weeny, like mice. Pardon me, like rats.
Golokhvastov's never-to-be in-laws: Isn’t he smart! Awesome!


Yes to democracy! Down with dictatorship! Time to elect a fair government. Vote for the Communist Party of Ukraine, No. 13 on the ballot sheet.

SPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://spu.in.ua


Dear citizens! Today you see splashy ads of various parties, but there’s only one choice you have. There are those who promise their voters the “moon,” but struggle for power by flouting the Constitution. And yet there are people who call for laws to be observed and who suggest systemic changes. We should change not the faces, but the function of government, change the quality of life of the entire society. All rights and power to local citizens!


My fellow compatriots, the snap election gamble that Viktor Yushchenko has embarked on is a war against the Constitution, the judiciary and the local government reform. The Socialists are keeping the commitments they undertook before the voters, and are putting the [pro-Yanukovych] politreforma to work. The President, as always, wants to handpick rayon [country] and oblast [state] chiefs. Yushchenko’s goal is to become Kuchma. The Socialists’ goal is to vest the power in communities.


My fellow compatriots, I, Vasyl Tsushko, hereby report to you that under my leadership of the Ministry of the Interior the murder rate has decreased by 12 percent, and robbery by 15 percent. The MoI has upheld the law and citizen security. The Socialists and our leader, Oleksandr Moroz will not countenance civil strife in the country and usurpation of power by Yushchenkos, Tymoshenkos and their accomplices.

LyB
http://narodna.kiev.ua
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lytvyn's_Bloc


This is our life. This is our government. The government is the life. People deserve better than this — and better ones. I’m coming back to put a stop to misgovernment and to confer a just order. Volodymyr Lytvin. Honesty, integrity, professionalism.


Volodymyr Lytvyn. At a turning point for this country, head of the Verkhovna Rada Volodymyr Lytvyn upheld the law, stopped the anarchy, and prevented bloodshed at the presidential election. Without his wit, strength, and tactfulness, the country has succumbed to wiles, cynicism, and deceit. Stop! The country needs a politician of resolve and responsibility. Lytvyn means order in the Rada, the rule of law in the country, the prosperity and confidence of everyone. The country needs Lytvyn.


I’m addressing each and every one of you. Has life gotten any better? Are you satisfied with prices and bills? Is healthcare affordable? Do you have housing opportunities? Are you sure that your land will not be taken away from you? My answer and yours is no! I will stand for all who were forgotten by the present authorities. This is my oath. Vote for the Lytvyn bloc, No. 7 on the ballot sheet.

PSPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_Socialist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://www.vitrenko.org.ua


Let’s protect our country from being robbed by oligarchs, from land grabs and NATO occupation. Don’t be a traitor. Vote for No. 12, Natalia Vitrenko’s Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.


A pompous Soviet/WW II-style ad interpolated with “Sacred War” and a Levitan-like voiceover.

From the people’s information bureau: Today, at Yushchenko’s whim, Ukraine is being dragged into NATO. Our Motherland and the lives of our children have come under threat. We will protect our peace. We will protect Ukraine from NATO. Natalia Vitrenko, leader of the Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.


They say “zRadu het!”[Down with parliament!], but still betray each other. They say “we’re for independence,” but still rekindle fascism. They say “we’re for fair elections,” but still fine-tune the election results to fit the political order of things. They’ve worn everyone out. Down with cheaters and liars! Free people should live in a fair society. Natalia Vitrenko, leader of the Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.

Now See This!

The Cabinet of Ministers official site now features a kids section. The earlier Ukrainians learn about servility, uh sorry, stability, the more prosperous some of them will be, right?


More funnies. This is an R-rated, unedited version of a televised address by Kharkiv mayor Mykhailo Dobkin, PRU. As the filming takes place behind the screen, Dobkin and his associates swear profusely. I wouldn’t dare provide translated minutes.

Kuchma Comes Back!
KUCHMA Bloc Unveils Monument to Former Ukrainian President









Any idea why he looks like a hybrid of Caligula and one of those "little green men?" And does he really deserve a spot near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier?

Good News, Bad News: Yanukovych 'Argues' with Himself

This is a clean, untampered montage of two videos. The montage contrasts Yanukovych’s bullish economic rhetoric against his stubborn refusal to comply with the Constitutional Court’s ruling that reinstated public employee benefits for FY 2007.

Good News: What’s the purpose of any election? Tell me! There’s a single purpose: the country should become stronger and people’s lives better. Are there any grounds to claim that the country is not developing economically? I’m sure that every one of us will say that no such grounds exist.

Good News: For today the economy is growing. Today we have the lowest inflation in all the years of independence.
Bad News:………………………………........................67 billion [$13.27 bn]….……....
67 billion (pause)

Good News: Today, we’ve made a decision, and we will make it happen. We will raise wages and pensions three times throughout the year.
Bad News:………………………………...........…....they suggest that we pick up the tab.

Good News:……………It’s because a great number of businesses — our hardworking Ukrainian people — are working around the clock to achieve this result.
Bad News:………………But how? (pause)………………………………Nobody said anything about that. To promise what cannot be delivered is to have no respect for the people — most of all, for ordinary people — for those whose lives are full of hardships today.

Good News: Every family and every citizen — we are all united around one common idea: We want to live a lot better than we currently do. We want our kids to live better lives than we do. And we are obliged to provide for our seniors. I know.
Bad News: ……………………………………………………………………………………………....................
…………………………………………..........................................But how? (pause) Nobody said anything about that. To promise what cannot be delivered is to have no respect for the people — most of all, for ordinary people — for those whose lives are full of hardships today.

McDonbas 2: Yanukovych Cabinet Member Calls U.S. Dollar “Our National Currency”

"Ми не допустимо обвалу долара. Хто, що б з експертів не говорив, – ми ці політичні страшилки чуємо вже давно, – ми захистимо свою національну валюту, і не допустимо її здешевлення".

We will not allow a dollar collapse. Whatever the experts say — and we’ve been hearing these political bugaboos for a long time — we will protect our national currency and will not allow its devaluation.

— Yuriy Boiko, Minister of Energy

Whose national currency is he talking about? Are we to assume that the Federal Reserve has members of the Yanukovych Cabinet on its payrolls?

Source: http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/25/64354.htm

Kobzon, Yanukovych, Chernovetsky Rock the Party, Sing a KGB Song

Iosif Kobzon, born in Chasiv Yar, Donetsk Oblast, is more than just the Frank Sinatra of the USSR. In a 2004 remake of one of his patriotic songs, Kobzon campaigned for Yanukovych and painted Yushchenko as a “civil war” candidate.

Video 1


The first song, “Spyat Kurgany Temniye,” (“Sleep Befalls the Dark Hills”) is the soundtrack to Bolshaya Zhizn (A Large Life), a 1939 inspirational movie about Donbas coal miners. The film won an “Oscar” from Stalin.

A jewel of Donbas subculture, the song was mercilessly spoofed during the Orange Revolution.

The second song “Ne Dumai O Sekundakh S Vysoka” (“Think Not About Time from a Mountain High”) is the soundtrack to Semnadtsat Mgnoveniy Vesny (Seventeen Moments of Spring), a 1973 blockbuster miniseries about Otto von Stirlitz, a Soviet mole in the Third Reich. The movie became an instant hit, and joke fodder too.

Often used in sitcoms as the unofficial anthem of the KGB, "Ne Dumai O Sekundakh S Vysoka" is popular in Ukraine. However, when sung by Ukrainian public officials, the song loses most of its humor.

Video 2


Kobzon:

Kak zdorovo, chto vse my zdes
Segodnya sobralis

I vsyo zhe s bolyu v gorle
My tekh segodnya vspomnim,
Chyi imena, kak rany,
Na serdtse zapeklis

How great it is that all of us
Have found each other here (walks up to Chernovetsky)

With pain in our throats
We will remember those
Whose names as wounds so deeply
Upon our hearts are seared

Kyiv in Colors 2

Kyiv, Ukraine, Sept. 23, 2007, 168 hours before face-off
As the parliamentary campaign in Ukraine enters its last week, I decided to take some pics.

The Battle of Billboards


Stability and prosperity! (PRU) v. The Ukrainian Breakthrough (BYuT)


Enough fooling the people! (Kuchma Bloc) v. Happy family, successful country! (PRU)


Danilych, [Kuchma] the people are with you!


Hexed: She hit you back then, she’ll hit you again!
(a spoof on BYuT’s Zrobyla todi – zrobyt zaraz! She did it back then, she’ll do it again!)

Behind the Enemy Lines



On the Brink of "Civil War"
You see them? Don’t be surprised to find PRU and NUNS tent kiosks within striking distance of each other as they quietly pass out campaign brochures.


Stability and Prosperity, Sidewalk Edition
An elderly lady from the countryside (baba) selling apples near the food market at Shevchenko Square


Stability and Prosperity, Bazaar Edition


“Justice for Everyone” As Seen from a Marshrutka


"Boys, boys, boys, I’m looking for a good time…"


Big Blue (Kyivska Rus Movie Theater)


Big Orange (Lvivska Square)


Can’t You See How Close We Are to a Civil War, Damn It? (Maidan)


Just Another Look at “Stability and Prosperity”



Miss Mature Maidan, aka Baba Paraska


Juggling Campaign Promises


The Bubble Rush of “Better Living Today” (PRU campaign slogan in 2006)



Once Burned, Twice Cautious (Or Should We Say Copycats?)
(PRU supporters break camp at Maidan to be on standby against "election fraud.")



"I believe the children are out future, teach them well and let them lead the way…"




Revolutionaries of all colors, unite! (a NUNS tent kiosk juxtaposed next to Lenin’s Statue overlooking the Besarabsky Market)


A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words (The Numbers Speak for Themselves)

Photo courtesy of Ukrayinska Pravda

The Iron Ladies

During her brief visit to London, former — and perhaps even future — Ukrainian PM Yulia Tymoshenko lunched with former British PM Margaret Thatcher.

One of the most popular politicians in the Soviet Union of the late 80s, Maggie could have easily unseated Gorby in a free election. With her charisma and polished manners, she had commanded more respect than the leader of the economically stagnant Soviet state, slapped with severe food supply shortages.

In Ukraine, the Iron Lady franchise belongs to Tymo, who has reveled in the brand, despite casual zig-zags between left and right in her international political orientation. (Last year, her party subscribed to an ideology of solidarism and reportedly sought membership in the Socialist International. This year, in the runup to the French presidential election, Tymoshenko surprised experts when she made overtures to Nicolas Sarkozy.)

Thatcher signed a book of memoirs, The Downing Street Years, for her Ukrainian follower. Hanna Herman of Yanukovych’s Party of Regions speculates that Tymoshenko’s visit may have included a secret meeting with Berezovsky.

According to Tymoshenko, she was “impressed by the woman whom everyone called the Iron Lady, who was loved and feared, but despised by no one.” She added that “It’s hard to imagine the history of 20th-century politics without a person like Margaret Thatcher.” Former British PM, in turn, said she was ready to visit Kyiv to help her counterpart defend Ukraine’s independence.

If Tymo becomes PM again, let us hope that she will fight stabilnist as fiercely as Thatcher fought the Falklands War.

Sources: http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2007/9/21/64234.htm

Say YES to the Referendum!
Question 1 (check-marked): Do you agree that the official languages in Ukraine should be Ukrainian and Russian?

Which Language Is Second to None in Donbas?

When asked whether making Russian a second official language will hurt Ukrainian speakers, Viktor Yanukovych stated:

Абсолютно ні. Ось психологія людини така, я ж знаю, я народився, жив, виріс у Донбасі. Якщо до тих людей буде шанобливе ставлення і до мови, якою вони говорять, я вам скажу, піде прогрес. Піде процес у бік української мови, і ситуація змінюватиметься на краще".

"Потрібно вчити. Ось внук у мене вільно розмовляє українською. Сини - один краще, другий гірше, ну, вони не вивчали українську мову. Але прищеплювати у людей ненависть до російської мови? Я вважаю, що це неправильно".

Absolutely not. It’s how the mind works, I know this, for I was born and grew up in Donbas. If these people are treated with respect, including the language they speak, then I’ll tell you there will be progress. The process will move in favor of the Ukrainian language, and things will change for the better.

We should study it. Now, my grandson has full command of Ukrainian. As for my sons, one is more fluent and the other is less fluent; well, they didn’t study the language. But should one inculcate people with hatred toward Russian? I think it’s wrong.

According to the 2001 census, Ukrainians make up 56.9 percent of the Donetsk oblast population. Nationwide, some 77.8 percent identify themselves as Ukrainians, while only 67.5 consider Ukrainian their native language.

Question: Which of the two languages needs protection?

Sources: Ukrayinska Pravda, UNIAN, Korespondent, State Committee on Statistics, Party of Regions Official Site

'Party of Ringtones' Photoshop Spoof
Зрадлива родина — потішна країна! Zradlyva rodyna, potishna krayina!
Crappy family, distressful country. (Literal translation: Treacherous family, funny country.)

Based on:
Щаслива родина — успішна країна! Shchaslyva rodyna, uspishna krayina!
Happy family, successful country


Containing Neo-Soviet Imperialism
A clash of civilizations between a Soviet flag-clinching fist wearing Lenin’s hat and a dulya-flipping fist wearing a peasant Ukrainian hat. Dulya (doo-lia), the local equivalent of flipping the bird, is a fist-clinching gesture in which the thumb goes under the index finger.

All works courtesy of Censor.net.ua



Ilya Repin. Barge Haulers on the Volga. 1870-1873. Oil on canvas. The Russian Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia.

Stabilnist = Spin x Sovok x Sadomasochism?

American PR wizards may chalk up a few extra votes for the Party of Regions. But they will not change the mindset of the grassroots Regionalist voter; they are chasing it! All it takes is pushing the right buttons, using state-of-the-art spin in tandem with the preexisting Moscow malware.

So far, the PRU top brass has refused to emancipate its electoral base in eastern Ukraine from mental slavery to Sovok, or Sovietica. Here, in the nexus of Ukraine’s Rust and Sun Belts, one can also discover a heavily Sovietized, proletariat-influenced subculture. Here, the local oligarchs perpetuate their power by stirring a political cauldron of the good old Soviet times — when the state provided for people’s basic necessities as long as they stayed within the Communist Party’s line. The breakup of the Soviet Union did not alter this Pavlovian formula. In the sixteen years of Ukraine’s independence, it has served as an elixir of the ruling elite, guiding the country’s transition from communism to crony capitalism, or stabilnist.

When you think of Ukraine’s second-class citizenship with regard to the EU, think stabilnist. The societal submissiveness that came with this chronic condition sank Ukraine to the lower tiers of the Human Development Index. It landed the once third-largest nuclear power on a castaway continent euphemistically called Eurasia. For stabilnist to be effective, Y2K (Yanukovych, Kuchma & Kravchuk) pumped their subjects with nostalgia-inducing painkillers, a task reserved for the well-choreographed Big Brother media. The Ukrainian people assumed the role of the proverbial mule that follows a carrot suspended from a stick, but never gets too close to take a bite.

Somehow, the less Sovietized and more educated segments of Ukrainian society managed to generate immunity against their government’s operant conditioning. The Kuchmatrix malfunctioned. After an interlude of lost opportunities, which we call the Orange Revolution, the Kuchmatrix reloaded. The fresh air of freedom became scarce again, as the smokestacks of stabilnist resumed their routine, rising above the food chain of Ukrainian society.

Some argue that stabilnist has changed. But has it really? Despite all the talk of Akhmetovization — the emergence of a modernization-minded and more Western-oriented wing — most Regionalists have stuck to their guns. They do not share the grief of Soviet genocide victims. With a glorious view of the Soviet past, they have capitalized on a culture of Ukrainophobia and Holodomor denial as their greatest asset in squashing the Oranges.

Recently, the Party of Regions sexed up its campaign by mounting a nationwide petitioning drive to hold a plebiscite on Russian as a second official language and on Ukraine as a non-NATO country. Most likely, the PRU will drop this déjà vu initiative after the election to seduce NUNS into forming a grand coalition.
But before that Kodak moment, the PRU will spray itself with political pheromones to solidify those few percentage points worth of stabilnist-overdosed or Communist-leaning voters.

Most of the swing voting will occur in the Orange camp, as more NUNS supporters predictably switch to BYuT. In contrast, PRU supporters exhibit a far stronger propensity to continue as Guinea pigs in what essentially remains a “hit-me-baby-one-more-time-oops-I-did-it-again” neverending story.

Bait-and-switch manipulations, hardly exclusive to the PRU, offer further insights into the seasonal — and sadomasochistic — peaks and valleys in the Ukrainian social contract. Every campaign, the issue of social responsibility blossoms into a mouth-watering oasis, only to wither away once the campaign comes to an end. Ironically, stabilnist gives short shrift to the very people who support it in the polls. Paradoxically, they keep coming back. Insofar as NUNS and, to a lesser extent BYuT — not to mention the CPU and the SPU — fail to keep their promises, they, too, have a stake in stabilnist.

So here we are, half the country stuck in a time warp, marinated in Cold War soup, while the other half hasn’t quit looking for democratic healthfoods. How’s that for a pop-art Huntingtonian model?

Web-Rigging: PRU Official Site Loses Listing for False Traffic

Bigmir)net, which rates Ukrainian content sites, on Monday removed the official site of the Party of Regions from its listing. Asked about the cause, sources at Bigmir)net stated that the site’s behavior violated their traffic reporting policy, Ukrayinska Pravda informs.

According to Bigmir)net, they intercepted an attempt to raise the PRU site’s rating by using a third-party traffic-boosting technique that jacks up the site counter.

Obozrevatel quotes a UNIAN report in which Bigmir)net claims that 58 percent of the site visits could be traced to a “click club.”

Obviously, Ukraine’s No. 1 rating portal has its own reputation to protect, which explains such bold action. As for the PRU, some habits die hard even in the Information Age, don’t they?

First Graders Hail Yanukovych With Soviet-Style Poems

Public recitals of political poetry got off to a fresh start on Sept. 1, or Knowledge Day, which marks the beginning of a new school year in Ukraine.

The following footage, which I downloaded from Censor.net.ua, features two first graders, boy and girl, at an eastern Ukrainian school ceremony attended by PM Yanukovych.

The poetry they recite mixes patriotism with paternalism. I took the liberty of attempting a poetic translation of these Sept. 1 verses, highly reminiscent of the Stalin era.


Photos courtesy of Sovmusic.ru

Girl:

И от нас
От пап и мам
Благодарность персонально
Виктор Федорович, вам

Here’s from us
From dads and moms
As we press ever so gladly
Viktor Fiodorovich’s palm

Note: Ukrainians formally address each other by first name, followed by a patronymic: Viktor Fiodorovich (transliterated from Russian), or Fedorovych (transliterated from Ukrainian).


Boy

Мы под вашим патронатом
Станем будущем страны
Мы себя покажем Штатам
С украинской стороны

Having you as our patron
Makes our future bright indeed
We will show the States and NATO
Our Ukrainian Godspeed


Apparently, the Age of Innocence still prevails over the Age of Information in some parts of the country. It pampers maladaptive worldviews in adults, encourages first graders to rattle off retrograde rhymes, and creates a divide larger than the digital one. Do you have to be Benita Ferrero-Waldner to know that such personality cult rituals make Ukraine unfit for EU membership? Will there be a knowledge economy in a country that celebrates Knowledge Day this way?

Is it possible that some of our “poetry lovers” crave a divide et impera future for Ukraine? They probably want average-income Orange families to enroll their kids in dance classes right away! This should prepare them for the increasingly popular art of guilt-trip dancing in front of Western embassies to get a visa.

After all, celebrating EU accession at retirement age won’t be so bad, provided you live long enough to beat the current life expectancy of 66 years.

Kyiv in Colors


I was a Johnny-come-lately for the Sunday BYuT rally. On my way from Podil to Maidan, I ran into a downhill exodus of BYuT fans. They were “falling back to base,” that is, to the caravans of buses that brought them to Kyiv from all over Ukraine.


NUNS, which campaigns to lift parliamentary immunity, has dressed the Ukrainian House in orange, displaying a maxim that reads Zakon odyn dlya vsikh. (One law for all.)


At Maidan one could marvel at rookie police officers who guarded PRU tent kiosks, populated by blue-clad teenagers who reportedly make $5 per hour by sitting there and waving banners outside. Exceptions to this recruiting policy can hardly be found in political Ukraine, just as one stands little chance of contesting the PRU’s leadership in it.

Recently, Mayor Chernovetsky ordered the removal of all political paraphernalia from the streets, ostensibly to prevent disorderly conduct. (Yanukovych’s "instability" fetish must be highly contagious.) Amid an acute absence of any signs of civil unrest, municipal authorities have not enforced the ban yet.

If you’re looking for unrest, watch the debates, surf the Web, or, if you’re out on the street, look at the walls. The streets of Kyiv have become a political battleground in a war of words and symbols.


Tymoshenko’s “little red book,” titled Ukrayinsky Proryv (The Ukrainian Breakthrough), has spawned an anonymous spoof slogan, Ukrayinsky Naryv, which can be poetically translated as The Ukrainian Brainscrew. The spoof slogan makes a mockery of the BYuT logo, a red heart-shaped check mark, by turning it upside down. That’s the Regional McCoy, isn’t it?

Short of that, my reality check of the "crisis" craze keeps bouncing all the time. When it comes to ordinary Ukrainians, I see nothing but peaceful coexistence. So if you’re a sucker for stability, welcome to Ukraine.

T-shirt caption: ВірЮ в Україну, or I believe in Yukraine (as in Yulia). Well, some people believe in Yanukraine, but again, no civil unrest whatsoever.

Backbiting or Backsliding? News Host Claims Being Forced to Resign Over Report on Yushchenko's Schooling Expenses

"Дочка президента Ющенка, Христина, сьогодні мала піти в 1 клас Міжнародної Печерської школи у столиці. Там уже в другому класі вчиться її старша сестра Софія, а молодший брат Тарас піде в дитсадок при цій школі".

"Як повідомляє агентство УНІАН, подружжя Ющенків обрало саме цю школу, оскільки там викладають багато іноземних мов, а також існують "європейські стандарти".

"Платити за такі європейські стандарти президентському подружжю доводиться чимало - 12 тисяч доларів на рік за одну дитину. І це без врахування харчування, яке привозять з французького ресторану, та підручників".

President Yushchenko’s daughter, Khrystyna, was today to enter first grade at Pechersk School International in Kyiv. Already studying there in second grade is her older sister Sophia, while her younger brother, Taras, will be entering the school’s kindergarten.

According to a UNIAN report, the Yushchenkos picked this school because it offers a wide choice of foreign language instruction, and is also a haven of “European living standards.”

The price tag for such European standards does not come cheap for the President’s family: $12,000 per child, annually. Note that this figure does not cover lunches, which are supplied by a French restaurant, and textbook expenses.

This is an excerpt from a newscast by Ihor Slisarenko, then a Channel 5 host, who claims to have been coerced into leaving the company, following an angry call from the Secretariat of the President.

According to Slisarenko, after his semi-editorial hit the airwaves, management demanded a written explanation, and then pressed for his resignation. Oleksandr Narodetsky, Slisarenko’s superior, maintains that the employee quit of his own free will. The Secretariat has also denied role.

Now, the million dollar question: Is this a case of backbiting by a disgruntled employee or, worse yet, backsliding toward censorship? One of the first to report the story, Ukrayinska Pravda is watching closely.

Is Channel 5 — held in high esteem as the ice-breaker of the Orange Revolution, in what was then a tightly knit ensemble of Big Brother media — reversing course? If any of that happens to be true, then, in the name of George Orwell, we shouldn’t wait until the end of this campaign. Let’s establish a “Journalist-Beater of the Year” award right away.

P.S. As I was about to post this, I learned that the Channel 5 board has decided to retain Slisarenko, and instead has reprimanded him for breach of editorial policy.

It turns out that the board has found him guilty of bias and misquoting. Well, makes you wonder what the policy says about newsworthiness and the public’s right to know. And finally, how does it square with the previous statement that Slisarenko left “of his own free will?”