When I hop from rally to rally, Sleeping Beauty never shows up.
In fact, her party supports a law that I rallied against.
But when her gas cronies get busted, she cries blue murder.
That’s one hell of a “need to protest” mode.
Video embedded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/163378.html
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tymoshenko Awakens to Abuses of Power (Not Her Own)
Monday, March 09, 2009
More Polit Funnies
Durdom (madhouse) does them all.
Dream a dream
Yulenka: Lethal Lessons
Tagline: She doesn't play with dolls. She plays with people.
Based on a promotional poster for the Russian Stephen King-like horror movie Yulenka
The Yushchenko-Chernovetsky team
Thou shalt have none other gods before me
The New Wave
Yanukovych to run the BYuT campaign office in Donbas 
Inspired by Tymoshenko, former president Kravchuk pleads with Yushchenko to step down.
The official exchange rate is Yushchenko's crisis-killer sedative
Dovhy, Chernovetsky, Kilchytska
Checking these three into a mental institution would have been better than firing those four hospital administrators for failure to attend the buckwit rally.
The Handout Hippie
"Dear Ukrainians, we're done with democracy. I hereby declare a state of emergency. You can hide but you can't run."
Firtash's Alfa
The Het-man
In Ukrainian, геть (het) means out.
The Unknown Official
Desperate Housewives
Karpachova, Bohoslovska, Tymoshenko, Herman, Semenyuk-Samsonenko, Bohatyryova
A parody on Larry King's interview with President Yushchenko
Larry King: What happened to the ideals of Maidan?
President Yuschenko: They drowned.
Rada fires Ohryzko, matryoshka hatches 
A cobra-shaped Bohoslovska on the Eighth of March (International Women's Day)
Kravchuk & Kuchma
The Return of the Musketeers: We Have What We Have (Kravchuk's maxim)

The Clash of Media Biases: Pro-Yushchenko (Inter) v. Pro-Tymoshenko (Kanal Ukrayina)
Che Yushchenko
2011, somewhere in the Carpathians
BYuT gasmen beating the gas out of Firtash
Because of a tight tour schedule, Chernovetsky couldn't attend Yushchenko's meeting with Kyiv municipal authorities.
Welcome to our new office!
RosUkrEnergo occupies the Naftogaz head office
Ukraine's coat of arms
"Put her hands here and her legs there, and she'll be quick to confess where she hid the Gazprom contract."
She who pays Pootie calls the tune 
And we should clean the mess
Yulia the Riveter: "Here's your gas, Mr. President!"
The Expulsion from Paradise
Sources:
http://durdom.in.ua
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Alfa Storms Naftogaz Office
Now that Putin dumped Firtash and bet on Tymoshenko, Yushchenko apparently can't let go of Firtash.
Here’s an interesting Yushchenko-Firtash v. Tymoshenko-Putin episode, featuring Ukraine’s elite counter-terrorist unit Alfa.
On Wednesday, Alfa stormed the Naftogaz head office in Kyiv to seize Tymoshenko’s gas agreements and to prevent the alleged theft of the so-called “technical gas.”
Background: It was the gas that Firtash had lost to Tymoshenko when he had lost Putin’s support in January. Then-customs chief Valeriy Khoroshkovsky, who has a business relationship with Firtash, refused to finalize the transaction, deeming it illegal. As a result, some 11 bcm of RosUkrEnergo’s gas have changed hands a few times between Naftogaz and Gazprom. Tymoshenko then fired Khoroshkovsky, and Yushchenko appointed him deputy director of the SBU.
Naturally, BYuT MPs came to the rescue of Naftogaz.
Female reporter: Why aren’t you letting MPs in?
MP Serhiy Vlasenko (BYuT): Please let an MP through, dear friend! Keep your hands off me! Please let me though! I’m neither touching you nor the documents, nor am I interfering with the investigation activities. I want to enter the premises of national stock company NAK Naftogaz of Ukraine.
Naftogaz supporters: Let’s go!
Female reporter: They’re gonna squash me!
Naftogaz supporters: An MP is under attack! Calm down! Hands off, bastard! Let go! Let go! Let go! Calm down! I’m an MP! Get your hands off me! Let go! Calm down! Let go! What are you thinking? You think you can...you can get away with this? Is this Firtash’s security service or Ukraine’s security service, huh??? You’ve become the security service of the criminal oligarch Firtash!!! Where’s your honor, officers? Where’s your honor? Take it off and don’t be shy! Take your hood off! Don’t be shy! Take your hood off! You should be defending the Motherland! Let go! Hands off! Take your mask off! Take your mask off! Now! Take your mask off! Do it! Take your mask off!
Alfa officer: He’s on duty. Don’t yell at him.
Naftogaz supporters: You just don’t get it, do you? I’m on duty, too. We’re all on duty here, buddy. Identify yourself, you thug! Identify yourself! Identify yourself!
Alfa officer: Did you see it? He hit me!
Naftogaz supporters: Hit you in your vest?
Alfa officer: What vest? In the legs!
Naftogaz supporters: Cut the circus!
Alfa officer: If a person is an MP, it doesn’t mean they can hit another person.
Naftogaz supporters: Nobody hit you! You’re a provocateur!
Reporter: Why are you letting them go? On what grounds?
Alfa officer: I’m gonna get a certificate of battery.
This footage reminds me of how Yanukovych’s Anticrisis coalition repelled Yushchenko’s and Tymoshenko’s efforts to oust prosecutor general Piskun in May 2007, as part of their campaign for a snap parliamentary election.
It also reminds me of how Yushchenko and his team clashed with members of the Kuchma-Yanukovych regime in the Central Election Commission in October 2004.
Times have changed.
Today, it's Yushchenko and Tymoshenko who are clashing with each other, with special interests on both sides.
On Thursday, Alfa went to Ukrtransgaz, the company that uses “technical gas” to facilitate gas transit to Europe, but failed to seize any documents.
Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/115448.html
Original sources:
http://inter.ua
http://tsn.ua
http://kanalukraina.tv
http://www.1tv.com.ua
http://stb.ua
http://5.ua
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Watch More of the Yushchenko-Tymoshenko Duel
Enjoy a few more moments from the Tuesday meeting of the RNBO (Rada natsionalnoyi bezpeky i oborony, or National Security and Defense Council).President Yushchenko: First, the gas price is raised unjustifiably high, then validol is administered: must be hard on you, eh? We’re giving you a boundless loan so that you can pay for what you can’t cover. Then, this loan must be repaid. The budget will not repay this money. It’s understood. The National Bank of Ukraine will say that it has a reserve limit below which it will not go. There’s only one way to service the debt of national state monopoly NAK Naftogaz: its bankruptcy...a bankruptcy with all the assets to be sold toward the settlement of the loan.
PM Tymoshenko: In fact, an attempt was made today — and it’s in progress now — to break all the direct agreements between NAK Naftogaz and Gazprom and to revert to the corrupt shadowy intermediaries RosUkrEnergo. Just in case, I want to tell you that the 11 billion cubic meters of [technological] gas that state enterprise NAK Naftogaz and the entire Ukraine obtained at a discount price of $159.3 — they now want, via an RNBO resolution, to return it to RosUkrEnergo, a private entity, from which they plan to make a profit of at least 4 billion dollars.
Interestingly, the RNBO website does not offer an English version (not even a crappy one) and yet boasts a highly creative English-language URL: http://www.rainbow.gov.ua.
At least, the penny-wise and dollar-stupid leprechauns in the government drop some hints as to the whereabouts of the proverbial pot of gold.
Video uploaded from:
http://obozrevatel.com/_site/src/test/news_video.aspx?_id=285318
Original source:
http://5.ua
Friday, February 06, 2009
Pynzenyk Memo Divides Cabinet
The Pynzenyk memo refers to a written wake-up call from Finance Minister Viktor Pynzenyk that extrapolates current economic data and warns of an impending economic meltdown.
Leaked to the media, the memo created negative publicity for Premier Tymoshenko and even inspired President Yushchenko to quote it in his recent address.
From day one, spokespersons for Tymoshenko have denied the memo's authenticity. And so did Vice Premier Oleksandr Turchynov, on Wednesday:
It surprises me when such a responsible person as the President draws his conclusions regarding the state of the budget based on reports from the Internet. I am not aware of any such official letter from the Minister of Finance, and that upon this letter, with such-and-such addressor and addressee, the head of state’s conclusions could be based. That is, [we’re dealing with] the Internet, that is, [we’re dealing with] some other opinion, which has nothing to do with reality or with what’s going on in the government.
However, at least two senior government officials had already confirmed the report, speaking on last Friday’s “Svoboda” talk show on Inter.
The “whistleblowers” are: Interior Minister Yuriy Lutsenko, who backs Tymoshenko, and Customs-Chief-Cum-Deputy-SBU-Director Valeriy Khoroshkovsky, backed by Yushchenko.
Interior Minister Yuriy Lutsenko: There’s nothing secret or extraordinary about this document. Every Cabinet member got one on their desk. Nobody forbade it from being sent, contrary to what some media outlets have written about it, and the way you’re now emphasizing the word secrecy is divorced from reality.
Talk show host: What’s your take on…
Lutsenko: It’s a working document of the Ministry of Finance, just like all other documents at the Ministry of the Interior, at the Ministry of Economy, and at the Ministry Transport.
Deputy SBU Director Valeriy Khorshkovsky: Yes, I’ve seen this memo. Moreover, we even discussed it with the Finance Minister, and I want to say that I even made certain amendments because some of the figures there were beyond my comprehension. Uh...it’s a real document...uh...frankly, I don’t know why it has stirred up such a commotion because, frankly, all that’s in there is a systemic look at all the problems that have been piling up during a rather long period of time.
So which one of them is not telling the truth?
Not only do they have conflicts of info in the Cabinet, but they also seem to have conflicts of interest.
Tymoshenko has admitted to “inviting” what she called “foreign investors” to participate in the Inter acquisition talks. Earlier, Khoroshkovsky, who calls himself the channel’s official owner, mentioned in an interview that Tymoshenko had expressed interest to buy Inter.
Khoroshkovsky, in his own words, had insisted that the money should be “clean,” citing transparency concerns arising from the channel’s IPO preparations. This requirement had upset Tymoshenko. “Actually, it was after this that talk of some investors began,” Khoroshkovsky said.
Tymoshenko links Inter to Firtash and accuses the channel of bias and propaganda, a claim not without foundation. Firtash owns an option to buy a 50% stake in U.A. Inter Media Group Limited, which controls Inter.
On Thursday, the Party of Regions, whose MPs have lobbied on behalf of RosUkrEnergo, failed to gather enough votes to sack Tymoshenko, after calling her on the carpet in the Verkhovna Rada.
Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/112160.html
Original source: http://inter.ua
Other sources:
http://www.epravda.com.ua/publications/497ee1f14c7d6/
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/2/4/89079.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/2/3/89038.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/27/88590.htm
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Firtash Tells His Side of the Story
His name is Dmytro Firtash, or Dmitry, as he calls himself in Russian. He holds a 45% stake in RosUkrEnergo, the controversial middleman company that has supplied Ukraine since 2006 but has no place in the 2009 Russia-Ukraine gas deal.
He used to be the most publicity-shy oligarch in Ukraine. Until last Friday night.
It was then that he graced the airwaves on Inter’s “Svoboda,” apparently sensing RosUkrEnergo’s changing fortunes and yet exuding confidence and engaging in bossy behavior. (Interestingly, the show featured a "moment of truth" that somewhat confirmed rumors that Firtash controls Inter.)
At any rate, Firtash's debut on Ukrainian television made him the only oligarch to date to participate in a live talk show. Click here to watch the entire show.
Dmytro Firtash: The RosUkrEnergo Company is a normal company just like all other companies. It’s a company of stockholders. It’s registered in Switzerland. In this company, there are two stockholders: one stockholder, with a 50% stake, is Gazprom and the other stockholder is me. It’s a company that has a well balanced contractual base, that’s first of all. What does this contractual base include? It includes the purchase of Turkmen gas, 42 billion [cubic meters]; 8 billion cubic meters of Uzbek gas; and the rest is Kazakh gas. Plus, we can buy up to 17 billion [cubic meters] of Russian gas. That gives us a total of 62 billion [cubic meters] of Middle Asian gas and a reserve of 17 billion [cubic meters] that we buy from Gazprom. Now we’ll talk about where we sell it. Actually, for RosUkrEnergo, Ukraine is just one episode, and it may be not the most successful one. Why? Because RosUkrEnergo sells gas let’s see where: Romania, Poland, Hungary, Germany, Slovakia and England.
I came to Gazprom and said, “Guys, let’s sit down and do the right scheme. Let’s make everyone happy.” We calculated the volumes and figured how much gas Ukraine would take. We calculated that Ukraine would take in the neighborhood of 52 billion cubic meters of gas. Maybe up to 55, in case the winter is [too] cold. In doing so, we calculated how much gas needs to be exported to make money. I made…I managed to make money for myself and I managed to create a scheme with which I subsidized Ukraine. During the three years of RosUkrEnergo’s operation — 2005, 2006, 2006 and 2008 inclusively — RosUkrEnergo has made a subsidy of some 5 billion dollars. And that’s because the contract was right, because we, gentlemen, all together had fun, and footing the bill for this wedding, for this banquet, for this booze party, was Europe! Show me somebody else who has made such subsidies per year. Even if you consider me and Gazprom separately, I still put at least $2 billion of my own money on that table. Now tell me which one of you has done the same? Show me! And then I’ll tell you how much we love the Motherland. We all say “we love the Motherland, we love the Motherland.” Gentlemen, let’s do something. Let’s not love, but, rather, let’s do something. Are you with me on that or not?
Sure. Let’s do some questioning. Why? Because that’s a very eloquent yet highly evasive piece of rhetoric. It raises more questions than answers.
He says, “Actually, for RosUkrEnergo, Ukraine is just one episode, and it may be not the most successful one.” Really? Would there be any such thing as RosUkrEnergo without Ukraine, in the first place?
Couldn’t Gazprom do it all on its own? Doesn’t Gazprom buy Middle Asian gas in its own right? Why the middleman? (Vice Premier Oleksandr Turchynov raised these questions during the show but received no response.)
Is it true that when RosUkrEnergo became Ukraine’s supplier in early 2006, they didn’t even have a website?
Would a company registered in Zug, the world-famous Swiss tax haven, be allowed such preferential access to the gas pipeline and storage facilities in, say, France or Germany?
Compared to these countries, how much did RosUkrEnergo pay for transit and storage while using Ukraine’s state-owned gas pipeline and storage facilities?
Finally, is there a relationship between RosUkrEnergo and the Party of Regions?
With Firtash thumping his chest and trying to steal the show, he and Vice Premier Turchynov came to blows in a heated spat.
At one point, reacting to Firtash’s increasing assertiveness, Turchynov shot back, 135:20 into the show:
Vice Premier Oleskandr Turchynov: Mr. Firtash, I beg your pardon, may I…you know, we all have gotten a sense of how Gazprom works for us and I want to correct your speech a little bit. You’re saying you were invited here. You’re the one who invited us here, because you’re actually the one who owns this channel, that’s first of all. We’re participating in your show, that’s second of all.
Firtash did not contest the channel ownership charge, letting it sink in.
He had knocked Turchynov out early on, 23:52 into the show.
Firtash: Now let me respond to what you said regarding my bio. Let me finish. As I understand, you’re referring to Mogilevich? Do I understand correctly what you wanted? What is there to be shy about? Gentlemen, let’s get a better grasp of what we’re talking about. It’s your one and only trump card! You’re the one who spun this subject. Now let me answer this question for you very clearly. Let’s see who the chief of the SBU was in 2005. Wasn’t it you, sir? You were the chief of the SBU! I have a question: Had I been connected with Mogilevich and had I had a relationship with him — a direct one — then the man who runs the SBU (I’m not the one who runs it, you’re the one who runs it!), who does work in the SBU (right?), but then somehow, in a manner that defies comprehension, all the files get lost, all the criminal cases get lost. And what happens? Everything’s burned! I have one question: Had I been involved in this (and your Prime Minister [Tymoshenko] keeps accusing me of this all the time), had there been something on me out there, wait a minute, you would have probably worked this issue out, you would have submitted these files. Which means I have a different impression, my dear comrade: There are files on you out there and you have something to do with this [destruction of evidence] directly. You did not want to respond and you’re lying, just like you’ve been doing it all your life.
I watched the show live and found the tit-for-tat very thought-provoking.
Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/110606.html
Original video source: http://www.intersvoboda.com/uk/video
Monday, January 19, 2009
Vodokhreshcha: Yushchenko Ice-Swims, Tymoshenko Flies to Moscow


Today, the Orthodox world celebrates the Feast of Theophany, known as Vodokhreshcha in Ukraine.
As expected, President Yushchenko performed his annual ice swimming ritual. Kyiv Mayor Chernovetsky followed suit.
Opposition leader Yanukovych, who prides himself on adhering to the same practice, called in sick.
Meanwhile, PM Tymoshenko flew to Moscow to sign the gas deal. According to some reports, the deal includes a quarterly revision clause that will revise the gas price paid by Ukraine based on the fluctuating price of oil.
The deal reportedly leaves RosUkrEnergo in the cold.
Video uploaded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/110759.html
Original video source: http://tsn.ua
Other sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/19/88041.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/19/88014.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/19/88002.htm
All photos courtesy of the President’s press service
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Without agreement from the Russians, amending the terms is impossible. Therefore, once Gazprom is ready to reconfigure them as early as March, we will undoubtedly support this.
If Gazprom says that until year-end we go by the contracts that feature RosUkrEnergo, it’s their decision. In this case, our primary concern is the price point. And we will keep it.— First Vice-Premier Oleksandr Turchynov
A new operation of gas supplies to Ukraine is being set up.— Gazprom Chairman Aleksey Miller
Ukrayinska Pravda reports that, according to Miller, the plan is to have a new company replace RosUkrEnergo, as well as a new domestic trader replace UkrGazEnergo. The stakes in both companies will be evenly (50/50) divided between Gazprom and Naftogaz.
While the reinvention may rightfully help Naftogaz regain control of the domestic gas business, the question is: Who else benefits?
It remains to be seen whether the "new gas order" will cease and desist from using public offices and property in the same old style — to create overnight fortunes for the select few.
Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/13/71538.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/12/71491.htm
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Starting this year, there will be no intermediaries. A work group is now being set up between Naftogaz and Gazprom. I hope that in a year’s time we will resolve all issues. The gas will come from Gazprom to Naftogaz.— Naftogaz head Oleh Dubyna, speaking during President Yushchenko's official visit to Moscow
Is the Ukrainian delegation speaking with one voice?
Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/12/71479.htm
Monday, February 04, 2008
Yushchenko Endorses RosUkrEnergo?
If anyone has a way of telling “I can do better than that,” let’s give it some thought. But I would like to have everyone grasp this one thing. Remember: Ukraine today has the cheapest gas. What’s our goal? Is it to have the cheapest gas or to answer the question of who supplies it and how they supply it? Apparently, it’s the first that interests us. We should have the cheapest gas and the best fees. That’s our goal. Transit fees, that is.
Mr. President, for a country that has the highest energy costs per dollar of output in the industrialized world, the goal is energy efficiency, not cheap energy.
Aside from transit considerations, we should also distinguish financial costs from opportunity costs. Social and geopolitical costs should also be factored into the energy equation. Cheap gas does not necessarily translate into better living standards. In fact, the opposite may true in Ukraine: The cheaper the gas, the cheaper the citizen.
For industrialists, lower gas prices create a moral hazard: the incentive to “gradualize” investments in energy efficient hardware. When Ukraine buys “cheap” gas, it is ordinary Ukrainians who pick up the tab. Ironically, cheap gas buys them a Cinderella economy and a ticket to a Latin American income distribution.
Bottom line, the oligarchs are having the best of both worlds: milking the old economy while drinking wine at the world’s finest resorts. Ordinary Ukrainians have only one world: stabilnist, or the oligarch-induced status quo. Of course, some of them have left for less "stable" and more economically free places like Europe and North America. To those who haven’t, stabilnist hasn’t provided enough nourishment to stem depopulation.
That’s why Ukrainians should know the real price of the status quo cooked on "cheap" gas. The sooner Ukraine matures to pay the average European rate, the stronger she will be in confronting domestic and foreign special interests. At any rate, one shouldn’t pledge wholesale support for a supplier that raises more questions than answers.
Video uploaded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/75242.html
Friday, January 25, 2008
Photo Misfit: Former Prosecutor-General Confused for FBI-Wanted Man
MP Svaytoslav Piskun, PRU, who also happens to be a former three-time Prosecutor-General of Ukraine, had his photo mistakenly used in a Russia Channel news report of today’s arrest of Sergey Schneider, also known as Semion Mogilevich.
According to Ukrayinska Pravda, Russia Channel, also known as RTR, attached Piskun’s photo to a report on Mogilevich, who is wanted by Russian law enforcement in a tax evasion case.
Semion Mogilevich is also wanted by the FBI and, according to Yulia Tymoshenko, has (or had) ties with Ukraine's current gas supplier, RosUkrEnergo (RUE), a claim which both Mogilevich and RUE have repeatedly denied.
Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/1/25/70404.htm
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x45s76_piskun_news
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/panorama/6121508.stm
http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/2005/09/46189b83-b037-4966-910c-89f5d78adc96.html
http://www.jamestown.org/edm/article.php?article_id=2370177
http://www.jamestown.org/edm/article.php?article_id=2370678
http://www.cdi.org/russia/johnson/2006-103-31.cfm
Yushchenko Talks Gas at DavosUkraine has become a hostage of the very campaign she started, because in today’s circumstances — when we have a fixed price formula — raising gas transit fees on Ukrainian territory would entail a corresponding price raise for the Central Asian gas Ukraine consumes.
Quite a gas attack on Tymoshenko’s plans to ditch RosUkrEnergo and raise transit fees for Russian gas exports to Europe.
Video uploaded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/74438.html
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Sold! ChernoCo Auctions Off 279 Acres of Land to RosUkrEnergo Co-Owner?
Brothers in public relations distress should be helping each other out, shouldn’t they? Pravda quotes a Komersant report that traces the newly acquired 279-acre patch of municipal land to Dmytro Firtash, the presumptive owner of the 45 percent stake in the notorious RosUkrEnergo.
The City Hall has already taken credit for the Tuesday transaction, comparing it to the iconic reprivatization of Kryvorizhstal. However, beyond the thin veil of the “open bid,” which pitted TOV Baski Plyus-2004 (ТОВ Баскі плюс-2004) against Investbudservis (Інвестбудсервіс), the picture looks anything but transparent. Try finding any of these ghost bidders on Google.
Starting price: UAH 869,359,000 (USD 172,150,297)
Hammer price: UAH 999,763,000 (USD 197,972,871)
The proud winner: TOV Baski Plus-2004, reportedly controlled by Mr. Firtash
It’s time to place bets on whether the housing project being advertised will push down Kyiv real estate prices below London levels.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Hurricane Yuliya Makes Landfall on Energy Mogul
In a heated talk show on Channel 1+1, Ukraine’s unemployed PM and re-employed Energy Minister pulled each other’s hair.
Armed with stacks of confidential papers, Yuliya Tymoshenko and Yuriy Boiko staged a revelations-packed duel that kept the audience guessing as to whose side carried more truth.
Since no polygraph tests were taken in the studio, the X-Files catchphrase “The truth is out there” might be useful in describing the combatants’ credentials.
Still, most would agree that, on the battlefield, Tymo scored more points.
Whether it was the allegations she made or the finesse with which she played the heartstrings of her fans, it was Boiko who got his balls busted.
Sure, he went over her past dealings with the now extinct EESU gas trading empire she owned, but that was hardly anything new. (The most popular adage holds that, as PM, she wrote off some UAH 8 bn worth of EESU debt.)
What was new? The Gas Princess proudly produced the minutes of a RosUkrEnergo AG meeting dating back to 2004, which linked Boiko,then CEO of Naftohaz to the management of that secretive company.
Few experts would reject out of hand the proposition that Tymo may have skeletons in her closet. It is equally certain that, taking the West as a yardstick — with the exception of Hungary and Israel — any allegations of this magnitude regarding officeholders should be followed by their immediate resignation. Nothing of the kind transpired in Ukraine.
And that’s the distance our home-grown Western integrators should keep in mind.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
'Cause This Is Thriller: “GI Julia” Persona Grata on Channel 5
Makeup Gasfest Dispels Fears of Big Brother
A specter is haunting Channel 5 — the specter of censorship. Or is it? On balance, it’s now more likely that fans of Yuliya Tymoshenko and media activists may heave a sigh of relief. The sort of terror with which they digested Ukraine’s No 1 open-minded news channel last Sunday may safely be shelved.
The bitter “flashback” pill presented itself last Sunday night when Yuliya Tymoshenko didn’t make it to the Chas Pik (Rush Hour) talk show on Channel 5 as announced. Regardless of the incident’s root cause, among many viewers it did evoke not-too-distant memories of a sheepish media community in the heyday of the Kuchma regime, when the notorious temnyku ruled supreme. On a night which concluded a week of holidays in Ukraine, Tymoshenko’s appearance promised to gather a wide audience: Few would want to miss the Lady of Maidan in a rhetorically rich ritual of torching Naftogaz for the deal it has signed with Gazprom to end the pricing dispute. Expecting to gain a few extra rating points, the channel had hyped the show all through the day, running alerts in its text line. But when, as the superhit of the 80s has it, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand,” something else actually happens. Tymo shows up at the door only to be told that the show is off the air. “‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night,” Jacko would sing.
Following the incident, Yuliya Tymoshenko issued a statement describing it as an act of censorship. She also expressed empathy for the talent, who, she noted, had no say in the decision. Channel 5, the glorious icebreaker of the Orange Revolution — in what had been a North Pole’s worth of Big Brother-style propaganda — responded with a press release of its own. Clinging to its Kanal Chesnykh Novyn (News You Can Trust) brand, Channel 5 took pains to redeem its image and discount Yuliya’s side of the story. The statement cited “matchmaking” failure as the cause. According to Channel 5, within minutes of the show’s airing, no counterpart could be found for Yuliya to comply with the show’s one host/two guests format. Not the strongest of arguments, if you apply a healthy degree of skepticism to it. Aren’t they supposed to have a backup counterpart should any such contingency arise? In fact, they had one at the ready: Naftogaz CEO Ivchenko, who had represented Ukraine in the negotiations. But the problem was, he could only be reached by phone, which would have created an unfair publicity advantage for Tymoshenko had the program been aired, the press release warns This would have put Channel 5 out of tune with its policy and in conflict with a recent piece of election legislation. Nevertheless, struggling to build goodwill, Channel 5 reissued its invitation to Yuliya Tymoshenko, welcoming her as early as Monday. That says it all. Or does it?
Just a few more thought-provoking facts, figures, and speculations. Few observers believe that no link exists between Channel 5 and Petro Poroshenko. (He has repeatedly denied ownership.) Poro and Tymo, then-NSC chief and then-PM, respectively, clashed in breathtaking turf battles, multiplying the cabinet's economic policy flaws. Ultimately, a toplevel whistleblowing act set off in the “orange big bang,” — when Yu the umpire exercised the “all out” option, firing the cabinet last September. Poro’s status as a key figure in Yushchenko’s inner circle and a major campaign contributor made cronyism the talk of the town, costing the Yushchenko administration dearly in terms of approval ratings. (The court has found no evidence of corruption.) However, at the Nasha Ukraina (NU) convention last November, a group of party members acutely aware of his political karma made an attempt to purge him, without gaining enough support, though. Poroshenko entered an emotional “not guilty” plea with the convention and vigorously set out to reinvent his image. With no love lost between former allies and a perilous parliamentary campaign approaching, Yuliya Tymoshenko's archrival called for reunion. Perhaps a mixture of regret and common sense, he launched a series of serenades but failed to captivate the audience. By and large, the electoral benefits of reunion were lost on both sides of the “orange curtain,” for the road from family to factionalism was paved with unbridled ego. The unshed blood of Maidan turned out no thicker than the upcoming vote, and the heroes went their separate ways.
Meanwhile, the enemies of Maidan have been getting together, inspired by the refreshening swing of Ukraine's pendulum of public opinion. Santa (Moscow, Russia) smiled on the bad boys, “You guys did a fantastic job writing letters. I'm cutting off those gas supplies now. So when your chimneys freeze over, it means I'm coming to your town. Ho-ho-ho!”
The gas impasse and its resolution presented a publicity windfall for all interest groups out there who had been scanning the political horizon for campaign fodder. Once the details of the deal surfaced, Yuliya Tymoshenko mounted a vicious attack on Naftogaz. “GI Julia” — as she may be called based on GI Jane, a blockbuster starring Demi Moore — fired sound bites round after round, blasting the deal as “betrayal of Ukraine's interests” made evident by its grossly unfair terms: (1) failure to secure a decent long-term price, while locking into a long-term transit fee; (2) lack of transparency in RosUkrEnergo’s credentials, and (3) the agreement's monopoly effect. Her retrospective solution: Stand tall, sue the bastards. Given Yuliya's “energy empress” background and her “intra-orange opposition” experience, Channel 5 — whose freedom-of-speech record is unmatched by any other media outlet — could hardly resist her charms and brilliance. Her watchdog agenda has magnetized Maidaners who became alienated and disenchanted by a firestorm of scandals engulfing Yushchenko’s inner circle. Building on this “orange blues” movement, she has blossomed into a force to be reckoned with and a barometer to be looked at. Having her weigh in on the issue in a live broadcast would score a hit. That said, her grasp of energy issues, amplified by the artistic and militant quality of her discourse, posed quite a bit of challenge to a man’s world, threatening to unleash an Armageddon on Naftogaz CEO Ivchenko, who trumpeted the deal as a coup.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In Ukraine, beauty is also a well-recognized acronym that aptly mimics the word beauty — Blok Yuliyi Tymoshenko. In the eyes of discerning viewers, Yuliya’s “armed and dangerous” persona carried the risk of a credibility blow to the Nasha Ukraina campaign. Therefore, the Sunday incident may have raised suspicions of an attempt by Channel 5 management to blacklist her. A case for a conflict of interest between her newsworthiness and “welcomeness” on Channel 5 could be made, should the party affiliation of the presumptive owner be taken into account.
Anyway, the cold breeze of Big Brother's reincarnation on Channel 5 has now subsided. With a makeup “gasfest” show aired on Monday night, the whole thing turned out to be a false alarm, or, at worst, a calculated misstep with a 24-hour expiration period.
As expected, the show pitted the “unemployed” PM, live in the studio, against Naftogaz “loyalist” CEO Ivchenko, speaking on the phone, in a heated debate on how the Yushchenko administration had handled the gas dispute.
The show kicks off with a surprise: NU Member of Parliament Kseniya Lyapina, who heads the Cabinet Council on Entrepreneurship, joins the show in videoconference mode. And here comes the funny part: Actually, Kseniya hails from an adjacent studio! Roman Skrypin, the cool, calm, and collected host of the show, explained that she had been scheduled to appear on Monday and Channel 5 simply kept the promise. However, he did not hesitate to mention that it was an aide toYuliya's who had stated that she would only share the studio with the highest ranking official in the gas talks. (One queen, one castle.)
For a moment, the smell of disaster filled the air. Just a little trick by the host, and there she was: in a nasty ego trap, getting herself painted as a narcissistic prima donna. Yuliya made a faint attempt to regain her composure, saying that she valued Kseniya's contribution to small business development in Ukraine, but in order to have a real discussion of the gas issue she would prefer key figures involved. Anyway, “GI Julia” swallowed the bullet, and it showed.
But it didn't take long for her to recover. Being a skilled and seasoned fighter, she dusted herself off and staged a counteroffensive. She scalped the agreement's Byzantine wording and tackled the crux of the matter. Paraphrased, her arsenal of arguments appeared as follows:
1. The deal stipulates that the $95/230 per 1000 cubic meters rate paid by Ukraine can only be changed subject to mutual agreement. However, it also makes clear that the $95/230 rate holds for a mere 6 months in the year 2006, set to fluctuate later on based on market conditions. This caveat translates into a time bomb of sorts. Should gas prices rise in summer, Russia has the full right to drag Ukraine back to the negotiation table. (What a hot July!) At the same time, Ukraine has kindly agreed that the transit fee will be $1.6 per 100 km, effective until 2011. No caveats here.
Bottom line: Rip-off. Russia has upward potential, Ukraine doesn’t.
2. Domiciled in Switzerland, RosUkrEnergo, the intermediary company responsible for producing the “cocktail” rate, fuels transparency concerns. Observers have long referred to it as a secret old boys’ club, in which the Kremlin and members of Ukraine’s former administration have a stake. Some even trace it to Semion Mogilevich, a mystery of a man wanted by the FBI for racketeering, securities fraud, and money laundering. Legend has it he made his fortune as a Soviet mafia boss of global scope. After the Orange Revolution, the Ukrainian intelligence service thoroughly probed RosUkrEnergo. Then-SBU Director Oleksander Turchynov, a Tymoshenko confidant, briefed the President on the probe, but the President chose no specific course of action. Back in the late 90s, Bill Gates proclaimed, “If you’re not on the Internet, you don’t exist.” As of today, Google yields no immediate web site results for RosUkrEnergo. (Welcome to a billion-dollar company that doesn’t have a corporate web site.)
Bottom line: Rejoice! If you're not on the Internet, you still can make a few bucks and get away with it.
3. According to the deal, Russia effectively absorbs Ukraine’s contract with Turkmenistan as well as would-be contracts with Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan, establishing itself as a monopoly in the Ukrainian market. In what looks like a déjà vu of the roaring 90s, the feeding tube of Ukraine’s economy is left at Russia’s mercy. The matrix reloads.
Bottom line: Way too heavy a price to pay for compromise.
Among viewers who have been following Yuliya chapter and verse, these gloomy conclusions clearly earned Naftogaz a black eye. Circling around the RosUkrEnergo issue, she emphasized that energy contractors should be selected in open tender bids, not backstage arrangements.
In his retaliatory remarks, Naftogaz CEO Ivchenko emphasized the “mutual agreement” clause, saying it was the best deal Ukraine could get. He then proceeded to rain on Yuliya’s parade, accusing her of lobbyism for Itera, the energy intermediary Ukraine had worked with a few years ago. Displaying signs of unease, Yuliya chose not comment on the double standard charge. (Interestingly enough, Itera’s web site does exist on the Internet.) Instead, she reiterated that as Prime Minister she had been committed to the open tender principle in awarding energy contracts. Following her cabinet’s dismissal, she has publicly agonized over a presidential directive that, as she said, tied her hands with regard to the energy sector.
Somewhere in that nuclear duel, Roman, the agent provocateur host of the show, took Yuliya on by asking her upfront whether she had a political axe to grind in the gas dispute. That question obviously caught her off guard. The shock and awe that crossed Yuliya’s face for a split second indicated that Roman hit the right chord.
Yuliya switched gears and made Stockholm her destination. She maintained that Ukraine had a valid contract with Russia set to expire in 2009, and should Ukraine sue for breach of contract, it stood every chance to win. Her parting shot for Ivchenko, whose Congress of Ukrainian Nationalists Party had been headed by the late Yaroslava Stetsko, the widow of the legendary commander of the Ukrainian Insurgent Army: If that wise lady were alive today, she would be very upset by his betrayal of Ukraine’s interests in the gas talks. (The Congress of Ukrainian Nationalists Party has allied itself with Nasha Ukraina.)
As the show was nearing the end, Kseniya Lyapina, who had maintained a low profile, confined to her “separate but equal” videoconference mode, spoke up. She apparently thrived on her “second-class” studio citizenship, unwilling to get into a fish fight with star performer Yuliya Tymoshenko. Kseniya assumed a positive thinker role, praising Yuliya's “barter buster” record and claiming that the deal did just that — put the barter scheme of all times out of business. When Yuliya asked Kseniya if she considered RosUkrEnergo a transparent business, Kseniya had a hard time trying to find a politically correct answer.
All in all, the show was fun. The bedrock of democracy is an informed citizenry. And the more diverse the points of view, the broader the vision. Many would agree that the deal Ukraine has signed offers a mixed blessing. Besides the already mentioned faults, it has a dangerous loophole, which entails a change of venue from Stockholm to Moscow, a number of legal experts maintain. Because no court of arbitration was spelled out, should any disputes arise, by default, they will be litigated in Moscow, hardly an impartial jurisdiction.
Still, it's not the worst of deals. When Russia picks its battles in winter, it rarely loses any. Faced with sharp supply shortages, the initially empathetic Europe would have probably turned a cold shoulder on Ukraine, had its government engaged in a protracted court battle with an uncertain outcome. What could be a better prize for the Kremlin than having Ukraine worsen its relations with the EU amid parliamentary elections? The wake up call has arrived: Ukraine must pay its way and modernize. As the Ukrainians hear both sides of the story and read between the lines, they will get it right.




