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Monday, June 14, 2010

Make a Promise, Break a Promise (Yes, He Can — All in 1 Day!)

With a few dozen protesters sealed behind a massive police cordon, the 100 Days of Yanucracy gala went without much incident.

Until Yanukovych spoke to the reporters, that is.

Audaciously, they cornered him on his campaign promise to let them tour his fantabulous Mezhyhirya principality.

Caught up in a non-cherry-picked environment, Yanukovych unleashed the full force of the kick-the-cat syndrome on Herman, his big-mouth helicopter mom.

Her attempts to mother him from that environment only made things worse. To every reporter that surrounded him, he promised the bus ride of a lifetime: 5 buses x 60 people in each. Destination: Mezhyhirya.

And boy did he take them for a ride!

Yanukovych: Hanna Mykhailivna...[starts looking around for her]...have this organized. many?
Herman [keeps blabbering]:

Yanukovych [gets angry]: No, wa...wait, listen, just listen to me, just listen to me please!
Herman [stops blabbering]:

Yanukovych: How many? 50? A bus? Two? Three? Have five buses organized. I have no objections, no objections. Five buses. 60 people in each.
Herman: As you wish.

Yanukovych: But...but...bu...
Herman: We don’t let the president down around here.

Yanukovych [gets angry again]: Just...lis...Hanya, just let me do the talking! Yes. Just keep in mind that I’ve got one and a half hectares down there, of which I’m an owner. The rest is trespassing. One and a half, one and a half hectares of my property. It is to this one and a half hectares that I’m inviting you. You’ll be walking, you’ll be working. I’m

Reporters [ask him about who owns the rest]:
Yanukovych: Eh? There’s an owner.

Reporters: Who?
Yanukovych: You know everything [reporters burst into laughter].

Reporters: Your relatives?
Yanukovych: He knows more...more...

Reporters: A London-based firm...
Yanukovych: ...more than I do! Maybe those are your relatives? I don’t know. [laughter] Most probably, yours. What do you mean ‘why’?

Herman: OK, Viktor Fedorovych, we’ll have this organized [phony as hell].
Yanukovych: Eh? I don’t know [responds to a question].

Herman: Thank you!

No sooner had Yanukovych promised to, well, keep his campaign promise than Herman canceled it.

She said the president had an important international meeting to attend. Half an hour later, he made his way back to Mezhyhirya.

And guess what? That’s where the meeting was supposed to take place, according to Herman.

I look forward to having them both appear in Lie To Me, Season 3.



Anonymous said...

I am shocked that our old new prime minister hasn't done anything which contradicts his promised program.

Taras said...

Can we borrow him for a couple years?:)

elmer said...

Whoa, hold on a minute - someone CALL THE COPS!!

One and one-half hectares?

Yanuk started out with 130 hectares!!! About 400 acres, roughly.

Someone stole about 395 acres from Yanuk!

He's landlocked - his mansion and his land is surrounded!

How can he survive like that?

Who took his land?

Now he claims he has only 1 and 1/2 hectares.

Someone call the cops!!!

Taras said...

Yeah, those greedy neighbors definitely ripped him off!

Worse yet, they happen to be his relatives and associates (according to this report).

It’s so hard to keep sensitive info in the family these days.