Presidential candidate Yanukovych: Taxes should be lowered...most notably, by a factor of three, for enterprises where new jobs are created and high tech is introduced. I will give 5-year tax breaks to all small businesses and will exempt...small businesses...from registration fees and all permits paperwork.
How's that for a stump speech/campaign promise?
So here's my Thanksgiving message. (Skip to 40:30.)
Yes, I can see! Great General, I will work harder at the salt mines to get more salt to bring you more happiness. Thank you very much!
Audaciously, they cornered him on his campaign promise to let them tour his fantabulous Mezhyhirya principality.
Caught up in a non-cherry-picked environment, Yanukovych unleashed the full force of the kick-the-cat syndrome on Herman, his big-mouth helicopter mom.
Her attempts to mother him from that environment only made things worse. To every reporter that surrounded him, he promised the bus ride of a lifetime: 5 buses x 60 people in each. Destination: Mezhyhirya.
And boy did he take them for a ride!
Yanukovych: Hanna Mykhailivna...[starts looking around for her]...have this organized. How...how...how many? Herman[keeps blabbering]:
Yanukovych [gets angry]: No, wa...wait, listen, just listen to me, just listen to me please! Herman [stops blabbering]:
Yanukovych: How many? 50? A bus? Two? Three? Have five buses organized. I have no objections, no objections. Five buses. 60 people in each. Herman: As you wish.
Yanukovych: But...but...bu... Herman: We don’t let the president down around here.
Yanukovych [gets angry again]: Just...lis...Hanya, just let me do the talking! Yes. Just keep in mind that I’ve got one and a half hectares down there, of which I’m an owner. The rest is prohibited...no trespassing. One and a half, one and a half hectares of my property. It is to this one and a half hectares that I’m inviting you. You’ll be walking, you’ll be working. I’m o...open.
Reporters [ask him about who owns the rest]: Yanukovych: Eh? There’s an owner.
Reporters: Who? Yanukovych: You know everything [reporters burst into laughter].
Reporters: Your relatives? Yanukovych: He knows more...more...
Reporters: A London-based firm... Yanukovych: ...more than I do! Maybe those are your relatives? I don’t know. [laughter] Most probably, yours. What do you mean ‘why’?
Herman: OK, Viktor Fedorovych, we’ll have this organized [phony as hell]. Yanukovych: Eh? I don’t know [responds to a question].
Herman: Thank you!
No sooner had Yanukovych promised to, well, keep his campaign promise than Herman canceled it.
She said the president had an important international meeting to attend. Half an hour later, he made his way back to Mezhyhirya.
And guess what? That’s where the meeting was supposed to take place, according to Herman.
I look forward to having them both appear in Lie To Me, Season 3.
President Viktor Yanukovych: God, responsibility, humility, elections, freedom, democracy, budget, debt, poverty, crumbling economy, corruption, development, his team, Ukrainian people, effective government, rebuilding the economy and the welfare state, government reform, professionalism, Rada rapport, transparency, governance, need for a strong opposition as a safeguard for democracy, stabilnist, strong parliamentary majority [applause], need for overcoming divisions, need for cleansing our hearts of vanity/egoism/vanity, need for conceding defeat, Bible quote (Matthew 5:25), peace, reconciliation, cooperation, Rada rapport, government reform, judiciary reform, Constitutional reform, special interests, public good, ordinary people, middle class, intelligentsia, business, Rada-Cabinet-President rapport, defeating poverty, unifying the country, prosperity=unity, poverty=conflict, strategy of development, capital accumulation (wrong path) v. postindustrial society (right path), abandoning wild capitalism, embracing competition, knowledge economy, high-tech industries, science, catching up with the developed world, strategy of innovation, team, priorities, international division of labor, more government no, more market economy yes, deregulation, investment, IMF, rebuilding trust, stabilnist, fighting corruption, creating a level playing field (no easy task), political will (I’ve got it), clear foreign policy vision, policy that best suits Ukraine’s national interests, Ukraine as an East-West bridge, integral part of Europe & the former Soviet Union (looming into view: First Lady Lyudmyla Yanukovych & Grandson 9:37-9:47); equal power and mutually beneficial relations with Russia, the EU and the US, meeting the challenges, coming together internationally, humanity and Ukraine need the EU, energy, food, environmental safety, we’re ready to participate as a non-aligned European state, hope Rada will approve my foreign policy, as I assume the office of the head of the Ukrainian state, I want to tell the people of Ukraine that all my promises made to them will be fulfilled, we’ll pay back the wages/pensions in arrears, we’ll downsize the government (starting with my staff — applause), actions speak louder than words, result-oriented work in the name of Ukraine’s prosperity is my credo, I count on your support, I count on the support of the international community, which welcomes a strong and stable Ukraine, so help us God!
Hurry up, Mr. President! Patriarch Kirill is waiting!
Tearful and triumphant, he finally grabbed power. Vengeful and vibrant, she can now grab him by the horns.
Quote of the day: “As I assume the office of the head of the Ukrainian state, I want to tell the people of Ukraine that all my promises made to them will be fulfilled.”
Watch the final Santa Yulia episode of the season.
PM/presidential candidate Tymoshenko: Good evening, my darlings. The presidential election is over. It was our only chance to assert once and for all the independence and power of our state. It was a chance to become a decent member of the European family, to pass deep social and economic reform. It was in this election that we had our first real opportunity to do away with the power of the oligarchy and to return the country, along with its wealth, to you precisely. Such a choice could not please the oligarchy because they need cheap labor, poor and disenfranchised people who can be forced to work for nickels and dimes at their plants.
0:00-0:43
How’s that for a start? I almost felt like trading blog links with her, but then she started waxing holier than thou again.
So here’s how the story goes. Yanukovych could never win in a clean fight. Yushchenko rubber-stamped those last-moment election amendments. The two ganged up on her again.
The voters who voted against all or simply didn’t show had nothing to do with her defeat, so her face-saving displacement rhetoric goes.
It was fraud that sealed the fate of the election, not you.
1:21-1:24
She explains why she went to court.
I went to court to protect Ukraine, to protect every one of you. I know that all these days you had hope, you prayed for the honesty of the Court, and I fought and prayed with you, but the Court became a farce orchestrated by the Yanukovych staff.
1:40-1:59
The Court ignored the evidence, rejected the witnesses, and banned live coverage. That's why she quit. Alas, for the first time in so many years, her experience with Ukraine’s judiciary system resembled ours.
As a presidential candidate, I experienced firsthand what you deal with every day: the inability to defend the truth in court. Like millions of Ukrainians, I hereby assert: Yanukovych is not our president. A president who came to power by deceit will not be here to stay.
2:48-3:08
She urges Ukrainians to protect whatever they can now that Yanukovych has shown his true colors again.
She cites his attempts to suppress the Ukrainian language, sell the gas pipeline and let his gas barons sue Ukraine in Stockholm.
She calls for unity in the face of “anti-Ukrainian dictatorship” and voices her plans to resuscitate the de facto defunct BYuT-NUNS-LyB coalition.
She finishes her non-concession speech on a maternalistic note.
I also want to state that under no circumstance will I form joint coalitions with Yanukovych. I will not sign any universals and memorandums [rapprochements] with him. It is because I do not recognize him as president of Ukraine and do not accept his anti-Ukrainian, anti-European policy. If the patriotic and democratic political parties in Parliament resort to political party-shopping, I will go into opposition and I will be brining closer the hour of our state's return to a civilized path of development. And I will fight for the principles and values you share. I will fight regardless of whether I’m in government or in opposition. And I will not let anyone deprive you of the Ukraine you all deserve: a Ukraine that is free, strong, just, prosperous and magnificent. I’m with you.
4:48-5:46
Does Avril Lavigne know that you raid her song sheet?
Venue: The High Administrative Court, Tymoshenko’s last line of defense. Objective: Keep an eye on her, don’t let his victory slip away.
Tymoshenko argues her case before a panel of 49 judges. Live coverage of court hearings, which opened Friday, has been banned. It goes against the wishes of his client, Andriy Fedur, a lawyer for Yanukovych, said.
With Yanukovych’s inauguration set for February 25, she makes a case for a recount and, in her stronger statements, for a revote.
PM Tymoshenko: And if the High Administrative Court does not provide for the documents to be subpoenaed to the Court for a recount at those polling stations in question and for the country to be shown what the real situation there was, then one should simply not speak of justice in our state.
As promise-laden Ukrainians hobble back to the salt mines, the braided lady comes out of her bunker and lays out her war plan.
In her long-awaited address to the nation she
Thanks everyone
Compares 2010 to 2004 in terms of fraud
Argues that her rival knew he wouldn’t win in a clean fight
Recalls working around the clock to get all the legal paperwork done
PM Tymoshenko: And today I can firmly tell you that the election in Ukraine was rigged, and this is not a political declaration anymore but a clear legal assessment. Let me cite just one example and you will understand everything. We have managed, by a court ruling, to open the polling stations in Crimea for disclosure so that the votes may be recounted. We were shocked to find out that, at all polling stations without exception, there was a legally established fact of fraud from 3 to 8 percent to the benefit of Yanukovych. Overall in Ukraine, the volume of probable fraud exceeds one million votes, by various technologies. These votes are quite enough for our common victory. My conviction that the struggle must continue is also supported by the latest accounts of individual OSCE observers. They have expressed their willingness to testify in courts on our side with videos and their assessments that during the election in Ukraine there was systemic fraud. I understand that you are tired of tough political battles. And I, together with you, want stabilnist and quietude in our state. But if today we don’t defend democracy, the right of honest choice, then tomorrow we will wake up in a different country, one where dictatorship and lawlessness rule.
1:06-2:37
She then promises to contest the election results in a court of law, despite the rampant corruption. Driven by her sense of responsibility, she has no other option but to go all the way.
PM Tymoshenko: Not going to court today means surrendering the country to the criminals without a fight. I will not be arranging Maidans and I will not allow public civil confrontation. As never before, Ukraine needs stabilnist and quietude. And that is why we will be acting via legal avenues only and in court only. But I want to state it clearly: Yanukovych is not our president. And no matter how the events unfold, he will never become a legitimately elected president of Ukraine.
3:19-3:54
You don’t have the credibility to arrange genuine protests. Otherwise, you would have already arranged them.
If he did what you say he did, show us how he did it. Don’t show us how you can make a virtue out of necessity in what looks like a self-righteous crusade. The OSCE denies knowledge of any videos that would support Tymoshenko’s claims.
No matter what Yanukovych says or does before he assumes office, it will not automatically restore your street cred.
If you want my support, forget stabilnist. Try spravedlyvist.
Stabilnist: “Don’t rock the boat, don’t stop the party.” Spravedlyvist: “Do the crime, do the time.”
As Yanukovych received calls from Obama and Barroso, Tymoshenko made her first black widow appearance at a cabinet meeting Thursday.
Finding herself in a nuclear winter of frozen hubris, she made no election comments whatsoever. Taking voters for granted and treating them like shit can be such an ego bust. She doesn’t even want to talk about it.
But some people keep talking about it. I, for one, remember her January 17 post-exit poll sound bite:
It means that Yanukovych, who represents criminal circles, has no chance... I’m convinced that Yanukovych will never lay his hand on the Peresopnytsia Gospels for a president to take an oath of office.
Meanwhile, Yanukovych plans to muster enough votes to fire her next Tuesday.
They will not go away until Yanukovych is sworn in.
Tymoshenko remains incommunicado, despite repeated promises to hold a press conference and/or address the nation.
Her camp plans to contest results from 1,000 polling stations. According to maverick MP Taras Chornovil, a former Regionalist, Yanukovych gave free bus rides to about 20% of his voters in eastern Ukraine
“Don’t be afraid. I’m with you!” says a post-election Yanukovych poster that apparently tries to reach out to Orange voters. (H/t http://twitter.com/politiko)
In Ukraine, campaign commercials look like never-ending advance fee fraud letters.
The more promises they break, the more promises they make.
She goes from she to you, in a hard-sell message that contrasts her with him and offers a slice of death for the skeptics.
Voiceover: Think. Ukraine has a choice to make. You’re choosing a future — your future. You’re choosing: Ukraine will be energy-independent or he will sell out the pipeline and will make you a gas addict. You’re choosing: You’ll have the land or he will steal it — like he stole Mezhyhirya. You’re choosing: Your dreams of freedom and decent living will come true or he will bury them. Think about the future you want. Think about Ukraine. Think about yourself. Protect Ukraine. Yulia Tymoshenko.
He goes government-bashing, teasing and solution-selling in a slice of life populist message, complete with a thank-you note and change rhetoric.
Voiceover: In this campaign, we’ve heard a lot of words from the government. They tried to convince us why we should elect them again. On January 17, the people of Ukraine had their weighty say. It’s time to ignore their talk and look at the facts. When you read between the lines of government reports, you see the grim truth coming out.
Yanukovych: The people of Ukraine had their weighty say on January 17 and I’m grateful for your support! The people said they’re not ready to trust hollow promises when they need true changes. The people said they’re not ready to make peace with such a state of affairs when they need real help. The people are not ready to accept defeats that are being portrayed as victories. It’s time to unite and vote for real changes.
