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Showing posts with label Baloha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baloha. Show all posts

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Weary Voters Wooed by 'Primaries,' Ukrainian-Style

Veni, vidi, vote.



Elderly woman: What's the point of us electing them? Are they doing something for the people? Nothing is what they're doing. They're lining their pockets.

United Center campaigner: You're being completely inco...not exactly correct here. Why? Because these people haven't been in power. They haven't lined anything.

Girl: What can you tell about a person if you only read six...six...sentences about then?

Guy 1: I look at people's faces. People's faces can...can tell a lot.

Guy 2: We absolutely don't care about it. Whoever wins, it's a [bleep censor].

1:25-2:15

Have some faith, young man! You come to the campaign stand. You pick your favorite candidates. You put them in that ballot box.

It’s all about you. You’re the boss!

That’s what they mean by “primaries” at Tihipko’s Strong Ukraine and Baloha’s United Center.

Video embedded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/170788.html
Original source: http://stb.ua

Friday, February 20, 2009

More Polit Funnies

Durdom.in.ua and Eggs.net.ua keep them coming!


Acting on Tymoshenko's glowing economic reports, Western ambassadors have applied for Ukrainian citizenship.


"Yushchenko, don't blabber!"
A parody on the Soviet WWII poster "Ne boltai!" ("Don't blabber!")
U.S. equivalent: "Loose lips might sink ships."



BYuT lovestruck with the Party of Regions


Different wavelengths


The Pied Piper of Hamelin 2009


A hundred-hryvnia thank-you-for-a-job-well-done bill

"All she needs is a little credit."
A funny take on Confessions of a Shopaholic



Dear countrymen, I've issued a decree:
White shall be black Bitter shall be sweet Hogwash shall be wisdom


Lyovochkin & Boiko, the RosUkrEnergo lobby in the Party of Regions, get the finger from Firtash


Le ProFFessionnel





Making fun of Inna Bohoslovska


Chernovetsky escorted by babushkas and dedushkas
"You don't have a chance!
"


His new album


Lord of the Land The Return of the King
Pictured (clockwise): Chernovetsky, Yushchenko, Dovhy, Chernovetsky's son Stepan, Kilchytska, Baloha A spoof dedicated to Chernovetsky's reelection in May 2008


A spoof based on Chernovetky's ice-swimming and the 1980 Moscow Olympics closing ceremony


The Holy Trinity: Adelaja, Chernovetsky, Fletcher






The Day the Earth Stood Still



Dovhy as Chernovetsky's successor


The Kosmosmobile


The bucks-for-ballots babushka monetizer machine



The new album: "You're Still Alive My Granny..."


A Hr. 1.70 bill
A pointed jab at the metro rate rollback, from Hr. 2 to Hr. 1.70 (after a fourfold rate hike from Hr. 0.50 to Hr. 2)


"Granny, surrender your apartment and go for the caviar!"


Taxing newborns


A buckwheat-giving Serduchka-looking marijuanized mayor

Sources:
http://durdom.in.ua
http://eggs.net.ua

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Kosmos: "Everything I Touched Turned to Gold"

Once an asset in Yushchenko’s tug of war with Tymoshenko, the Kyiv mayor is now becoming a liability. (Now that the Presidential Election 2010 looms high.)

“He may be a bastard, but he’s our bastard,” so Yushchenko’s thinking went as he turned a blind eye to the massive land grabs and barbaric construction in Kyiv.

As if awaking from this induced coma, Yushchenko is now keeping a more watchful eye on Chernovetsky’s capers.

He has nixed the manifold utility hike for businesses, paid entry to cemeteries, and paid services at public HMOs. Moreover, Yushchenko’s chief of staff, Viktor Baloha, is threatening to fire Chernovetsky from the city state administration post. (Due to Kyiv’s special legal status, Chernovetsky holds two offices: mayoral, which reports to the City Council, and city state administration, which reports to the President.)

His throne shaking, Chernovetsky is now serenading Yushchenko, his onetime guardian angel, trying to appeal to the President's “better self.”



Kyiv Mayor Leonid “Kosmos” Chernovetsky: Today, uh, the President intervened for me, because the administration [Baloha] already, uh, wants to replace me with someone else. Everywhere there’s treachery, abuse, and that’s no way to work. I work 24 hours a day like [Severodonetsk Mayor] Vladimir Emelyanovich* and I enjoy everything I do. Whether it works or not, Vladimir Emelyanovich, everything I touched always turned to gold.

*Name and patronymic transliterated from Russian


That’s right! We have a Midas of a mayor.

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/113166.html
Original source: http://tsn.ua

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Oops!... She Did It Again


NUNS Vows to Quit Orange Coalition After BYuTney Sides With PRU, CPU

Allegations of Tymoshenko’s treason have materialized. At least, that’s how NUNS, the spurned party, may think. On Tuesday, the Orange Coalition failed to pass a resolution on Georgia, and instead saw an ad hoc alliance between BYuT, the Party of Regions, and the Communist Party. The three joined forces to simplify the impeachment procedure and strip President Yushchenko of key prerogatives.

Orchestrated by PM Tymoshenko of BYuT, the move may outbitch President Yushchenko’s own not-so-secret ambition: a grand coalition between his loyalists and a PRU splinter group — his reelection elixir.

If so, it marks the coming out of the closet for a love and hate triangle in which BYuT and NUNS, perpetually on the verge of divorce, always gave the Party of Regions the glad eye.

That gives us the following Kodak moment of the battleground: Tymoshenko, BYuT, Medvedchuk, and the majority of the PRU, and the Communists on one side, and Yushchenko, NUNS, Baloha, and Chernovetsky on the other. The angels must be weeping at the sight of such “pragmatic” matches made in…Hollywood!

In this divine comedy, Kuchma's chief of staff Medvedchuk plays the “missing link” role connecting Immaculate Tymoshenko and the infernal forces of the Kremlin, as many evolution theorists believe. Lyubov Sliska, Vice Speaker of the Russian Duma, has praised Tymoshenko’s evolution, saying that if she stays the course, she will become president. What a heartbreaker for silly fools like me who supported her in parliamentary elections.

BYuT claims it “sees no alternative to the Orange Coalition.” Echoing this love ballad, some optimists dismiss yesterday’s vote as a one-night stand, noting the fact that unholy alliances in the Rada featuring Tymoshenko have appeared before.

Meanwhile, that same night, NUNS held an emergency meeting and decided to pull out of the Orange Coalition. The decision will take effect 11 days after it was made.

With the notable exception of Interior Minister Lutsenko, Cabinet ministers representing NUNS did not attend the Wednesday meeting of the Cabinet. Lutsenko blames the crisis on Baloha’s brinkmanship and believes that the only way to save the Coalition is to fire Baloha, Yushchenko’s chief of staff.

As NUNS and BYuT exchanged recriminations, Yushchenko came to the Rada to announce that a de facto coalition has been formed between BYuT, the Party of Regions, and the Communist Party. He accused Tymoshenko of setting up a dictatorship and gave the Verkhovna Rada 30 days to finalize the freshly minted coalition or face dissolution.

In a UP article on the BYuT-PRU-CPU hookup, Serhiy Leshchenko and Mustafa Nayem quote a BYuT MP who calls it “safe sex.” Safe for whom? It may be safe for prima domina Tymoshenko, but is it safe for Ukraine?

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80670.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80701.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80679.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80700.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80670.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80699.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/3/80702.htm
http://trinixy.ru/2007/02/26/britni_atakuet_zontikom_18_fotografijj.html
http://www.tymoshenko.com.ua/ukr/export/#wallpapers

Friday, June 06, 2008

Orange Coalition Nears Disbandment As Two MPs Quit

Early on Friday, MP Ihor Rybakov of BYuT and MP Yuriy But submitted statements canceling their membership in the Orange Coalition. Technically, their move cuts the life support of the ailing BYuT-NUNS enterprise, a “game over” predicted by analysts and desired by fans of shyrka, or the grand coalition with the Party of Regions.

In his statements, MP Rybakov cites government corruption and failures, while MP But blames internal divisions and the coalition’s disconnect with President Yushchenko’s policies. Yushchenko’s chief of staff, Viktor Baloha, whom the media also believes to be the chief shyrka ideologist, reportedly has close relations with MP Ihor Rybakov.

Baloha has claimed no knowledge of the developments. "I haven't heard that the Coalition is disbanding. Disbanding the coalition requires that a meeting of the faction be held and that a majority decide that they are quitting the coalition," Baloha was quoted as saying.

"If we talk about the Constitution, it should be passed in Parliament by 450 votes, that is, it has to suit both the President, the Prermier and all political forces. It will be a grand coalition or a narrow vision," Baloha added.


Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/6/6/77116.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/6/6/77113.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/6/6/77126.htm

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Lutsenko Claims Persecution, Accuses President of Shyrka Plans

Speaking outside the Office of the Prosecutor-General, where he was summoned for interrogation, Minister of the Interior Lutsenko said this:



They haven’t invented anything new. I’m being asked why I flew on vacation, together with my family, to the Crimea and back. They also have reconfigured the Chernovetsky case from simple battery, which, according to Ukrainian law, does not carry criminal penalties, to abuse of authority. Now that’s something new. One might just as well reconfigure it to cruel treatment of animals.

Now that NUNS has fizzled out in the recent Kyiv municipal election, Lutsenko speaks with his tongue untied. Later in the day, the Minister of the Interior minced no words at his press conference.

I lost Kyiv elections to Baloha. I’m an honest politician and that's why I always call a spade a spade. I lost to the Secretariat of the President, which has managed to completely destroy the Kyivites’ support for NUNS.

It’s a heavy blow for me personally and for the future electability of Narodna Samooborona, but first and foremost, the bell tolls for Nasha Ukrayina.

Today, we’re witnessing an obvious coup d’etat taking place during the last month. It’s absolutely positively evident that President Yushchenko supports the Baloha-Kolesnikov plan of destroying the democratic coalition elected by the people in 2007, which formed a majority in parliament.

The plan is very simple: Baloha and Kolesnikov have convinced the President that if Chernovetsky has managed to buy the not-to-poor and quite educated Kyiv, then the Donetsk clan can easily buy the not-so-prosperous Ukraine.

Already, in early May, during a meeting with the President of Ukraine, attended by his Chief of Staff, Speaker of Parliament, and NUNS representatives, I was confronted with two requirements: to consent to a grand coalition in the Verkhovna Rada and to a coalition with Chernovetsky in the Kyiv City Council. And, second, to stop pursuing those who are being protected (and whose criminal cases are being soft-pedaled) by the Donetsk clan and the Secretariat of the President.

The President’s response was, quote, “Yura, cut all this cop crap. Remember, as long as I’m President, everyone who comes to my office wearing a tie will not land in jail.” It was a challenge to me, to everything that I did in 2005.

If the plan to destroy the democratic coalition is stopped, if the President states that there will be no grand coalition, and that he will discontinue any contact whatsoever with the Donetsk crime bosses, and will provide an opportunity to pursue any person, regardless of what party they belong to, then I have no objections.

The litmus test for the current government is the willingness to replace the Prosecutor-General, who has turned into a general graveyard of high-profile cases on high-profile people, and into a vehicle of political persecution in overblown cases against others.

I categorically deny the allegation that in 2005 I traveled by air twenty times, let alone with my family. This matter was looked into after my first suspension in 2006; there was no evidence to prove my guilt. Today, they’re trying to dig out this old and supposedly already dead dog and to hang it on me.

Standing procedure circulated by the Ministry of the Interior allows the families of personnel to travel in any direction for leisure or other purposes.

There were such options. For example, I was invited by Lviv authorities and by the state leadership to participate in city festivities together with my wife, so we went together. As for the naval forces festivities, the Commander and the Minister of Defense also invited me and my wife. We went there, too. I flew to Israel on an official invitation, together with my wife, as required by protocol. I guess we went to Greece, too.

Is this a case of Lutsenko's backstabbing or Yushchenko's backsliding? Let's wait and see.

At any rate, the fortunes of Georgian-born Davyd Zhvania, the man who reportedly bankrolls Narodna Samooborona, too, have changed dramatically. Once a friend of the Yushchenko family, he now faces the prospect of having his Ukrainian citizenship revoked.

While authorities cite violations of immigration law, Zhvania alludes to undeserved reprisals from Yushchenko.

According to some media reports, Yushchenko may suspect Zhvania of having a role in his 2004 poisoning.


Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/5/27/76565.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/5/27/76567.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/5/27/76569.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/5/20/76046.htm

Friday, March 28, 2008


New NUNS on the Block/Run

Some spiders eat their mother when they hatch. It doesn’t take an arachnologist to detect this modus vivendi in Ukrainian politics.


Last year, Ukraine witnessed a para-democratic phenomenon called party shopping — the practice of MPs teleporting themselves from Party A to Party B after the election, not without certain materialistic inducements. Bottom line: dissolution of the Verkhovna Rada; a snap election.

This year, we're witnessing an innovative development that can be termed as post-election party building. Objective:

1. Creatively destroy the Orange Coalition;

2. Secure, through skillful ideological maneuvering and oligarch-poaching, the re-election of President Yushchenko.

At least, that’s what it looks like.

On Thursday, the six NUNS MPs who had left NUNS a few weeks ago, without relinquishing their parliamentary seats, formed the nucleus of a party called Yedyny Tsentr (United Center).

Initially branded as Hart (Ukr. quenching, hardening, tenacity, etc), the party has rebranded to a more clear-cut identity, presumably acting on communications advice.

Some analysts believe that the real leader, the mastermind who unites the six NUNS in their tenacity, is Viktor Baloha, chief of the Presidential Secretariat. (The formal party boss is MP Ihor Kril.)

One can view Yedyny Tsentr as a political escape pod in the utopian goal of rebranding Yushchenko as the nation’s leader, with the moral glue to bridge the rift between the east and the west. In the real word, if anyone could re-slice and splice the electoral pie, Yushchenko would be the wrong guy for the job.

Like an insect caught in a spider web, Yushchenko doesn’t even seem to flap his wings anymore, his Orangeness sucked out of him. To the vast majority of his 2004 voters, the man is a shadow of his former self. He drones stabilnist time and again. But that hardly makes him more appealing to easterners, who largely vote against him.


When one’s need for a genuine rebirth takes a back seat to one's re-election drive, strange things happen. Justice Stanik, whom President Yushchenko fired last May for “breach of oath,” amid accusations of bribery, has been reinstated. That about wraps it up for “one law for all.”

One should keep in mind that some female spiders devour their male mates once they’re done mating. But that’s another success story, that is, the story of another, more powerful female waiting to happen.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Raisa Bohatyryova: From Separatist to Stateswoman



I want to call on you to support me, and I want to address everyone who hears us and who will learn about our convention. The day it gets into someone’s head to have a rerun election, we won’t go with it. We will hold a referendum on the creation of a Southeastern State — and that’s the answer to all questions.

— MP Raisa Bohatyryova, PRU, speaking at the Severodonetsk Convention, November 2004

Today the positive thing is that Ukraine — without haste and in talks with the European Union, with the Russian Federation, with the United States of America, and with the Security Council of the United Nations, taking into consideration the interests of both disputants — is trying, in this way, to find and define a solution that would, first and foremost, promote the national interests of Ukraine and the European community.

— Raisa Bohatyryova, Secretary of the National Security and Defense Council, addressing the issue of recognizing Kosova, March 2008

Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t it stabilnist we can believe in?

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/78301.html

P.S. Here’s an Ocean’s 11 spoof that aptly illustrates Bohatyroyova’s transmogrification.



Yushchen’s 11
The enemies want to take away everything from him: his approval ratings, his power, and even his second term. But he doesn’t give up and calls his friends. The guys who won’t let his victory be stolen are: Bohatyryova, Yekhanurov, Yatsenyuk, Semenyuk, Baloha and his six NUNS defectors.

Watch in Ukrainian the blockbuster Yushchen’s 11.

Sources:
http://eggs.net.ua/news.php?sid=1057

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Former Naftogaz Chief on Stabilnist, Shyrka, Patriotism

Ukrayinska Pravda quotes from an RFE/RL interview with the former chief of Naftogaz, MP Yuriy Boiko, PRU, widely believed to be RosUkrEnergo’s agent of influence.

On the PRU's slipping approval ratings:
As of today, we’re not losing approval ratings. In any given society, if a party goes into the opposition, some people will stray. It’s normal practice. And we feel quite all right about this.


On Baloha’s plans to strike out on his own:
You know, nobody has spoken about this officially. In our turbulent political situation, rumors abound. I believe that the vast majority of them have no foundation. Well, perhaps some of our partners, our colleagues, are planning to launch a new political project. It’s the right of every person — to launch a new political project.

On Baloha-Akhmetov relations:
You know, big business has to cooperate with government. And the fact that it cooperates — if this benefits the country, benefits stabilnist — then it’s normal. If it benefits stabilnist, then it’s normal. And whatever political decisions out there are being made by Baloha, I believe that right now he’s realizing that the ruling coalition in its present format — it doesn’t work.

Is it normal? It’s normal because they live in the same country. They are all patriots because they’re not leaving the country. They work and live here.

On the speculation of having lobbied the idea of replacing Akhmetov with Firtash as the chief party financier:
I believe there’s no way a person can approach the party leader and make an offer like this, so it’s all rumors. I’ve already answered this question today for one of the reporters. The answer is short: It’s all rumors and hearsay. It didn’t happen.

Whew! Now we know who the real patriots are! They work and live this country. They can’t live without stabilnist. And nothing short of a shyrkanova works for them.

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/2/26/72151.htm
http://www.day.kiev.ua/img/156368/13-5-2.jpg