Girl 1: Would you take us for a ride?
Sugar Daddy: Right to the edge of the world!
Girl 2: Got enough gas?
Sugar Daddy: Full tanks!
[APC approaches in a cloud of smoke, shock and awe-style.]
Serviceman: I’m dying for a glass of water. Could you fix me some, girls?
Girls: Just a second!
Girl 3: And when do you get home?
Serviceman: We’re already at home. We’re in the club every evening after work.
Girl 4: What kind of work?
Serviceman: Nothing out of the ordinary, work by contract.
Girl 5: What kind of contract? You mean a marital contract or what?
Girl 2: A military one, for the time being. [refers to the enlistment contract]
Sugar Daddy: Girl, girls, girls, don’t you wanna ride?
Girls: Go take Granny Manya for a ride, rider!
Voiceover: The time for new heroes has come. Contract-based service in the armed forces of Ukraine.
If the use of humor in this army recruiting ad was intended to tranquilize the brain, that mission hasn’t been accomplished. You can’t "be all you can be" if you can’t even pay your bills. So, dear advertiser, until you get the financials straight, you’re not fooling anyone but yourself.