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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Just Another Counter-Reality Commercial

Girl 1: Would you take us for a ride?
Sugar Daddy: Right to the edge of the world!

Girl 2: Got enough gas?
Sugar Daddy: Full tanks!

[APC approaches in a cloud of smoke, shock and awe-style.]

Serviceman: I’m dying for a glass of water. Could you fix me some, girls?
Girls: Just a second!

Girl 3: And when do you get home?
Serviceman: We’re already at home. We’re in the club every evening after work.

Girl 4: What kind of work?
Serviceman: Nothing out of the ordinary, work by contract.

Girl 5: What kind of contract? You mean a marital contract or what?
Girl 2: A military one, for the time being. [refers to the enlistment contract]

Sugar Daddy: Girl, girls, girls, don’t you wanna ride?
Girls: Go take Granny Manya for a ride, rider!

Voiceover: The time for new heroes has come. Contract-based service in the armed forces of Ukraine.

If the use of humor in this army recruiting ad was intended to tranquilize the brain, that mission hasn’t been accomplished. You can’t "be all you can be" if you can’t even pay your bills. So, dear advertiser, until you get the financials straight, you’re not fooling anyone but yourself.


DLW said...

wow, don't I wish I was in the armed services of Ukraine...


Taras said...

Be careful what you wish for:)

Pēteris Cedriņš said...

З Новим роком!

elmer said...

For some unknown reason, there is a tradition of brutal hazing in the Ukrainian army (it's even worse in the Russian army).

Just very recently, a soldier in the Ukrainian army died due to this type of hazing.

It is called "didivshchina."

And you are right - the advert is abominably stupid.

No mention of service to the country. Chauvinism galore. Nothing about learning marketable technical skills, or earning a decent salary. Not even anything about seeing the world - except for the local liquor clubs.

Apparently, the idea is for the Ukrainian army to perform the role of a pimp - "sign a contract, and you'll get all the girls you want at the local clubs every night."

Absolutely disgusting.

Taras said...

Дякую, Петеріс! Laimīgu Jauno gadu:)!

You’re absolutely right, Elmer!

Not only does it come across as stupid, but it also comes across as sexist, to say the least. (I think the gender issue didn’t bleep on the advertiser’s radar screen at all.)

The unique selling point of this ad, as I see it, was to tell the audience that being a serviceman earns you a decent income and allows you to raise a family. But instead of supplying the numbers with which to do the math in the marriage market, the ad saturates us with a vulgar scene of an armored personnel carrier casting a spell over the slut market. That's what it looks like.

The misplaced and deceptive humor appeal destroys whatever credibility an army recruiting ad should communicate. Well, of course, any disclosure of the current entry-level compensation in the Ukrainian army would have instantly decimated the stock price of the APC heroes.

That explains why the advertiser decided to keep the numbers top secret. All of which makes this priapic commercial a total waste of money.

З Новим роком тебе:)!