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Saturday, August 05, 2006

Так! Янукович (Yes to Yanukovych!)
Yushchenko “Unites” Ukraine, Unnerves His Voters

It may sound rather alarming, but Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” and Chopin’s “Funeral March” have never been so close. In the dead of the night August 3, 2006, President Yushchenko decided to commission into MP service the zombie he had tried to ward off two summers ago. By performing this Faustian rite of passage, Yushy became a partner in the betrayal of people who had catapulted him into power. He thus signed his own death certificate, as far his reelection chances are concerned.

Hiding behind the lofty “unite Ukraine” rationalization, he now prides himself on having sweetened the pill of the Yanuke appointment with a bunch of concessions.

These plain-vanilla concessions include subscription to the NATO membership action plan and recognition of Ukrainian as the official language. (Should we assume that the likes of MP Vasyl Tsushko (SPU), who uttered not a word of Ukrainian during the talks, will be held in contempt of the Verkhovna Rada? And which of the two prospects is less remote — man landing on Mars or Ukraine landing in NATO under Yanukovych the PM?)

Having ratified Yushchenko’s much-fetishized Universal, the Regs put the blinders on the public and laid the ground for the Snoozers’ to walk the aisle. Likewise, they newly-weds have sugarcoated their lovechild the Coalition of National Unity. (Suggested motto: “Cheaters and liars of Ukraine, unite.”)

If that’s how they want to market it, then why had their “unicorn” left underpenetrated a total of 14 oblasts, whose 25 to 45 percent of voters supported BYuT? Are these people somehow alien or opposed to the idea of uniting Ukraine in terms of values? And had those 3 Western oblasts, deeply wounded by Soviet oppression, given their hearts to NSNU only to have them urinated on by the Kremlin’s pets?

This leads us to believe that the parties to the Universal of National Unity had their minds united around some other set of values, namely increasing the value of their possessions. In this case, geography has little to do with it. It’s all about the green — “green” as in cash. Yanushchenko may peddle their unification vaudeville all they want, but savvy consumers won’t but it.

Of course, the truth will not hit home until fall descends on Ukraine and the public comes home from vacations. It is then that couch potatoes will be able to observe the Yanuke Cabinet in dance.

What a leap of faith: throwing yourself in the arms of those whom you had accused of plotting your murder and stealing the election! Boy will you pay for you gutless decision when the next election comes. Tymo the “Lone Ranger” will surely take your Boys' Club on.

If Yushy sincerely hopes that, with his Snoozers “in” and watching things closely, the Regs will behave, he is seriously mistaken. “Let bygones be bygones” doesn’t work that way. Your "just-married" SUV will do Ukraine no good because it comes straight from the boulevard of broken promises. Don’t we know what their word is worth, Mr. Yushchenko?

You became President by being right about everything that was wrong with this country. And now you are the one who stepped to the wrong side and the people have the eyes to see. In that sense, maybe you have no right to be President anymore. Ганьба!