Holovaty, Go to Hell!

Turncoats Inc has a new playmate: Serhiy Holovaty, a former BYuT and NSNU member, a star constitutional lawyer affiliated with the Council of Europe, and a three-time Justice Minister.

Yushchenko’s “unconstitutional” behavior obviously found him in the midst of assuming his fourth ministership — at the Yanukovych Cabinet. Speaking before the Rada on Tuesday, he couched his neverending disgruntlement in Biblical terms, equating current events with the work of the Devil.

(Mr, Holovaty, the Coalition of National ImpUnity has hired you as a legal eagle — or perhaps it’s better to say as an Easter bunny — to take its case to the Council of Europe, is that correct? Well, don’t forget to mention how badly your guardian angels wanted those 300 seats in Ukraine’s legislature! And if you still want them, come and get them. You’re free to do that. That’s what elections are for.)

Meanwhile, the stage at Maidan (Independence Square) is being reassembled. Small numbers of Yanukovych supporters have been trying to secure the area. Maidan 2 reconvenes shortly.

Coalition of National ImpUnity v. National RescYu Committee
Ya Paranoid About Lu; Ty Optimistic About Yu

A duel of press conferences held in rapid succession on Friday had Ukraine’s heavyweights speak their minds.

Yanukovych took pains to impress us with something so pompous that even shamans of “guided democracy” like Putin would puke at it. Speaking before an audience of some 579 accredited reporters, Yanukovych unveiled a smoking pot of plans that included the following:

• Keeping Lutsenko off the streets of Kyiv for the sake of “peace and stability”
• Rebranding the Anticrisis Coalition to that of National Unity (read: ImpUnity)
• Buying a 2/3 constitutional majority stake in the Rada (read: prostitutional majority)
• Using that majority to make Russian a second official language

Having digested the best of Donbas cuisine, we tuned our stomachs to a different set of ingredients. Tymo went about her business by:

• Appealing to the President’s better self and offering herself as an alter ego
• Citing legal technicalities for Yu to disband the Rada, adding that he has no other choice
• Maintaining a positive emphasis and rekindling the spirit of Maidan
• Announcing the re-establishment of Maidan’s National Rescue Committee

At a time when the Coalition of National ImpUnity puts talk shows off the air and disenfranchises millions of Ukrainians, the President has no right to be a bystander. This country is getting ripe for a rescue operation.