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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A Duel of Urine Samples: Lutsenko Clean; Chernovetsky a No-Show

Before each of his speeches, Lutsenko drinks a glass of vodka. After that he…uh… terrifies people with various stupid stories about…uh…various scary tales. For that purpose, I’m ready to undergo a medical exam with him. Since he is so confident, we will also check his drug influence and mine, and alcohol influence, and also whether he or I took bribes while carrying out our job duties.

In the above statement, Kyiv Mayor Leonid Chernovetsky enthusiastically responds to a “mutual medical exam” challenge from NUNS leader Yuriy Lutsenko.

Speaking on Channel 5 last week, Lutsenko suggested that he, along with Chernovetsky and scandal-scarred Kharkiv Mayor Mykhailo Dobkin, should undergo a publicly monitored medical checkup.
Chernovetsky’s spaced out speechmaking has won him the nickname "Kosmos," plus a trail of persistent rumors of possible drug use. Dobkin’s infamous obscenity-laced video, in which he absorbs tons of virtuoso four-letter language from his posse, made the best-seller lists on the eve of the Sept. 30 parliamentary election.

Channel 1+1 seized the initiative and agreed to oversee the medical exam procedure arranged at Eurolab, a well-respected private Kyiv clinic. Today, Lutsenko’s test results came out negative. So far, no urine samples have been forthcoming from Chernovetsky, not to mention Dobkin.

Lutsenko believes that Chernovetsky is fishing for an excuse to dodge testing. The full procedure involves an analysis of hair samples, which, as Lutsenko points out, store "smoking gun" evidence of drug use for a period of six to nine years. Nevertheless, he has expressed hope that Kyiv Mayor will deliver.



Anonymous said...


I myself wd like to see Senator Larry Craig of Idaho tested to see if there is blood flow to the penis when exposed to male porn...


Taras said...

Hey, haven't they already conducted this experiment?:)

Anonymous said...

Now Chernovetsky has called Lutesenko to run 5k race - winner gets to be Mayor.

No 'clean' words can express my feelings about this type of dirty poltical tactic.


Go Lutsenko! :) Good will eventually triumph over evil, as the Good Book says.

Taras said...

And what happened to Chernovetsky's medical exam drive:)? Is this the case of a strong heart, weak bladder?:)))