New NUNS on the Block/Run

Some spiders eat their mother when they hatch. It doesn’t take an arachnologist to detect this modus vivendi in Ukrainian politics.

Last year, Ukraine witnessed a para-democratic phenomenon called party shopping — the practice of MPs teleporting themselves from Party A to Party B after the election, not without certain materialistic inducements. Bottom line: dissolution of the Verkhovna Rada; a snap election.

This year, we're witnessing an innovative development that can be termed as post-election party building. Objective:

1. Creatively destroy the Orange Coalition;

2. Secure, through skillful ideological maneuvering and oligarch-poaching, the re-election of President Yushchenko.

At least, that’s what it looks like.

On Thursday, the six NUNS MPs who had left NUNS a few weeks ago, without relinquishing their parliamentary seats, formed the nucleus of a party called Yedyny Tsentr (United Center).

Initially branded as Hart (Ukr. quenching, hardening, tenacity, etc), the party has rebranded to a more clear-cut identity, presumably acting on communications advice.

Some analysts believe that the real leader, the mastermind who unites the six NUNS in their tenacity, is Viktor Baloha, chief of the Presidential Secretariat. (The formal party boss is MP Ihor Kril.)

One can view Yedyny Tsentr as a political escape pod in the utopian goal of rebranding Yushchenko as the nation’s leader, with the moral glue to bridge the rift between the east and the west. In the real word, if anyone could re-slice and splice the electoral pie, Yushchenko would be the wrong guy for the job.

Like an insect caught in a spider web, Yushchenko doesn’t even seem to flap his wings anymore, his Orangeness sucked out of him. To the vast majority of his 2004 voters, the man is a shadow of his former self. He drones stabilnist time and again. But that hardly makes him more appealing to easterners, who largely vote against him.

When one’s need for a genuine rebirth takes a back seat to one's re-election drive, strange things happen. Justice Stanik, whom President Yushchenko fired last May for “breach of oath,” amid accusations of bribery, has been reinstated. That about wraps it up for “one law for all.”

One should keep in mind that some female spiders devour their male mates once they’re done mating. But that’s another success story, that is, the story of another, more powerful female waiting to happen.

A Soap Opera Turned Action Movie?
All Is Not Quiet As Kyiv Celebrates Its 1522nd Anniversary

Piskun’s noncompliance with Yushchenko’s decision has injected a dose of adrenaline into an otherwise boring, flatline wrangle over the elections.

Prosecutor Piskun, excommunicated from his powers at a time when Yanukovych most needs him, became a cause celbre for the Coalition, which came to his rescue with police forces under its command.

Interior Minister Tsushko did not hesitate to intervene for his pal. Once at the scene, he and his Berkut task force squeezed out the State Security operatives involved in Piskun’s eviction.

Even though both sides continue trading threats and recriminations, no blood has been shed. Negotiations between President Yushchenko and PM Yanukovych continue at the Office of the President, where the National Security and Defense Council meets in frequent sessions.

Recently Yushchenko issued a decree through which he assumed command of the Internal Troops (the local equivalent of the National Guard). On Yushchenko’s orders, several IT detachments are being currently deployed to Kyiv as a deterrent force against PRU hotshots eager to play with fire.

Amusingly, highway patrolmen, who take orders from Minister Tsushko have obstructed their movement. (This funny picture simply doesn’t add up to the Coalition’s apocalyptic imagery in which Yushchenko poses as a dictator-to-be. Mr. President, you’re failing your dictatorship exam.)

The situation deteriorated when Yanukovych broke his election promise and began leading Yushchenko around by the nose. In his new stratagem, he has banked on Piskun’s unwillingness to take on Justice Stanik and has stuck to his guns in the Constitutional Court.

With that in mind, we must help Yanukovych pocket his pranks. We must help Moroz get back on earth. We must send a clear message to those high-net-worth individuals from Donetsk: If this thing spins out of control, you will not leave the country.

We also must be on guard against false-flag terrorism. Let’s not spoil this sunny weekend of Kyiv anniversary celebrations.

Yushchenko Fires Stanik, Pshenychny for Unprofessional Conduct

President Yushchenko Tuesday discharged two Constitutional Court Justices for “breach of oath,” as stated in his decree. According to the Secretariat of the President, Deputy Chief Justice Valery Pshenychny overstepped his authority when he assigned Justice Susanna Stanik to the task of preparing the briefs on the dissolution case. Justice Stanik remains under investigation on charges of bribery.

Stanik’s Hubby Prefers to Change Subject in Interview on Wife’s Possessions

Vadym Dolganov, the local king of Big Brother reporting known as Dolganovism, ran state television during Kuchma's second term in a manner similar to that depicted in The Running Man, the action movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dolganovism was a time when the media’s dystopian grip on Ukrainian society reached its apogee. But there’s more to this person than his career. Dolganov also happens to be the husband of Constitutional Court Justice Susanna Stanik, whose septuagenarian mother, Oksana Antoshko, has been found by the SBU to be in possession of real estate worth $12 mn.

In a live interview on Channel 5 Tuesday, Mr. Dolganov tried to seize the night by alluding that he has been approached by opposition leaders who sought a favorable court opinion from his wife and were willing to pay for it. However, he refused to specify his claims. The ball was in his court when the host confronted him with documental proof — utility bills charged to Stanik’s mother seized as evidence from apartment mailboxes. From then on, Dolganov’s studio conduct became evasive, if not bizarre.

First, he emphatically denied any relationship whatsoever to the apartments under investigation. But then, as he grew irritated, he called the questioning an invasion of privacy, insisting that the host lacked the authority to ask such intrusive questions. Further efforts to extract comments from Mr. Dolganov failed.
Instead, Stanik’s hubby used the opportunity to polish his diversion technique. He started reading from a newspaper, highlighting events unrelated to the subject, such as celebrations of Hitler’s birthday by local neo-Nazis, whom he obviously tried to marry to the opposition. (On closer observation, however, many of these events turn out to have been organized by Russian supremacist cells operating on Ukrainian soil. )

Well done, Mr. Dolganov. This is SO you.

Justice-for-Hire?

As the court battle of two Viktors opens this Tuesday, the SBU went public with the results of its background checks on Justice Susanna Stanik, according to which her mother has recently become the proud owner of $12 mn worth of real estate.

Bribery, the lifeblood of Ukrainian institutions, has long been manifest in luxurious suburban mansions that have mushroomed grossly out of proportion to their dwellers' salaries. When legalizing their trophies, bribe takers often put relatives on registration forms to mask their true identity.

In this regard, the Stanik Affair appears to be an attempt to challenge the credentials of a Justice tasked with preparing the briefs on the case. Stanik, who denies the allegations, has promised legal action against the SBU. The Office of the Prosecutor General, a Yanukovych-friendly organization, sided with Stanik, citing a lack of evidence. The SBU, a Yushchenko-friendly organization, should be ready to deliver on that account.

It all began when Realna Politika came up with the alleged transcript of a 2004 conversation between Susanna Stanik and Olena Lukash, the front woman on Yanukovych’s legal panel. In that dialogue, the two appear to be engaged in an important discussion of the Orange Revolution’s outcome.

Lukash, now Deputy Minister of Justice, outlined her business proposition to Stanik, a Kuchma appointee, on a first-name basis. She asked Stanik to endorse Yanukovych publicly and to pull a few strings for him using her connections in the High Court.

(Do not confuse the High Court, which had jurisdiction over the election fraud case, with the Constitutional Court, which handles the dissolution case. These are two separate courts, as Ukraine does not have a single supreme court.)

The story clearly falls into the kompromat, or political blackmail, category. Remember, we a wiretapped nation. For better or worse, our politicians have a passion for spying on each other. Ukraine has a rich kompromat culture in which highly sensitive intelligence leaks were used for the purpose of persuasion/dissuasion.

The cold shower Yanukovych took at the Council of Europe hearings could be compared with the cold shoulder treatment accorded to Yushchenko by the European Commission’s hands-off policy of ‘stability and democracy,’ as framed by President José Barroso.

Meanwhile, the opposition has urged Yushchenko to recall his appointees on concerns of the Court's pro-Yanukovych bias and corruption. To be continued.