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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Chernovetsky Orchestrates a Buckwit Rally

Pavlov experimented with dogs that behaved like humans. Chernovetsky experiments with humans that behave like dogs.

I call them buckwits. They can sell their neighborhood's last tree, playground and ray of sunshine for a pack of buckwheat. That’s all it takes to buy their votes and screw them out of their senses again and again.


After that turbulent last Thursday, which shook his majority, along with his recent initiatives, he staged a buckwit rally outside the City Hall on Friday.




Kyiv Mayor Leonid “Kosmos” Chernovetsky: Cher-no-vets-ky!
Buckwits:
Cher-no-vets-ky! Cher-no-vets-ky!


Chernovetsky:
Let’s take a look… [puts on glasses]

Buckwits:
There are lots of us!


Chernovetsky:
Now tell me, do you love me?

Buckwits:
Yes, we do!


Chernovetsky:
Yes, we do!

Buckwits:
Yes, we do!


Chernovetsky:
Is my wife beautiful?

Buckwits:
Yes, she is! Very beautiful!


Chernovetsky:
The most beautiful?

Buckwits:
She’s superb! Superb! And your team is young!


Chernovetsky:
Is that a yes or no?

Buckwits:
You’re the best!


Chernovetsky:
Is my team the best?

Buckwits:
Ooooooo!


Chernovetsky:
Does it love you?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
More than I do?

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
Can’t hear you!

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
More than I do?

Buckwits:
Nooo! [pause]


Chernovetsky:
Who else do you love?

Buckwits: No one. [single voice]

Chernovetsky:
Has there ever been more people here in Ukraine than today?

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
Say it loud!

Buckwits:
Noooooo!


Chernovetsky:
One more time!

Buckwits:
Noooooo!


Chernovetsky:
Good! Does anybody here know how to whistle?

Buckwits:
Ooooooo! [audience whistles]


Chernovetsky:
Wow! Well done!

Buckwits:
Ooooooo! [audience whistles]


Chernovetsky:
Now, do you love our Lord Jesus Christ?

Buckwits: Yeees!

Chernovetsky:
Say it loud, do you love him?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
Let's cross ourselves. [crosses himself]

Chernovetsky:
Well, who else…hey, listen, do you love my [deputy mayor] Oles, Oles Dovhy?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
Say 'very much!'

Buckwits:
Very much!


Chernovetsky:
Would you like to snyat* him?

Buckwits:
Nooo! How can we? Glory to him!


*The Russian verb snimat (снимать) has more than one meaning. The intended meaning: to fire someone (“Would you like him fired?”) The unintended meaning: to hook up with someone (“Would you like to hook up with him?”). The way Chernovetsky phrased his question — and the tone in which he pronounced it — made it sound like a double entendre. The comic edge doesn’t end there if we keep in mind that the Ukrainian adjective dovhy (довгий) means long. Poor babushkas! You'll never know what you’re missing!


Chernovetsky:
Say it loud!

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
Okay. NOOO!

Buckwits: Nooo!

Chernovetsky: Great, great! And who is fighting him — bribe takers, right?
Buckwits:
Yes! Corrupt officials! [young voice]


Chernovetsky:
Corrupt officials, right?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky: Shall we defeat corruption this year?
Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky: Do you want to give bribes?
Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
Would you and your kids like to live like you do today?

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky:
Say it loud. NOOO!

Buckwits:
Nooo!


Chernovetsky: I think you’ve now warmed yourselves up, haven’t you? To keep you from freezing, let me tell you the following. Every day, I pray for Ukraine...for Kyivites...for my beloved, you know for whom.
Buckwits:
For babushkas.


Chernovetsky:
For whom?

Buckwits:
For babushkas.


Chernovetsky:
For babushkas?

Buckwits:
Yeees! And for dedushkas.


Chernovetsky:
Here’s to the...do you love the babushkas?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
Do you call them every day?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
You’re not loud enough. You call them, don’t you?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
YES!

Buckwits:
Yes.


Chernovetsky:
Yes. You probably love dedushkas more, don’t you?

Buckwits:
Well, we do love babushkas. [single voice]


Chernovetsky: Okay, then. Do you love Kyivites?
Buckwits:
Yes!


Chernovetsky:
Do you love ORDINARY KYIVITES?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
DO YOU LOVE THEM OR NOT???

Buckwits:
Yeees, we do!


Chernovetsky:
Good, I love them too. What about Ukrainians?

Buckwits:
Yes! [some said no]


Chernovetsky:
Is Ukraine our motherland?

Buckwits:
Yeees!


Chernovetsky:
O-U-R MO-THER-LAND! We’re not going anywhere from here. Now look, I pray for Ukraine, for Kyivites, for ordinary people — whom I love more than my life — for my kids, for your kids…for my grandkids, for your grandkids. Today, they are destitute, their living standards are bad. Can the Mayor protect them — all over Ukraine?

Buckwits:
Yes!


Chernovetsky:
Can he or can he not?

Buckwits:
Yes, he can!


Chernovetsky:
Yes, he can!

Buckwits:
Yes, he can!


Chernovetsky:
Indeed, he can. It’s for real. Before age 40, I was destitute...like many Kyivites...but God gave me the opportunity to reach the shining top…which is called serving Him and nobody else but Him. [pause] Today, I don’t need money. I gave people a million times more than I ever took. And, every time, I pray and say: Lord [crosses himself], for everything I earn, for every kopiyka, I want to give back a thousand times more to every homeless boy, elderly babushka, elderly dedushka, to all Kyivites who are within their right to count on the fact that the Mayor has a heart, love for the people, and faith in God.

What can I say?



And then he sang that song again, this time using a song sheet.




Aside from the rallies and kindergartens, he also performs at St. Valentine’s Day parties.





If Yeltsin danced his way to reelection in 1996, why can’t he?


But if they love no one but Chernovetsky, how can they love Jesus Christ, let alone Oles Dovhy? It’s amazing how some people responded to the “do you love Ukrainians?” question. They probably don’t belong here.

Well, Chernovetsky certainly thinks he does belong here. Where else would he strike that much gold?

Plus, he clearly wants to be the ‘mayor of Ukraine’ so he can love us more and more and more — more than his life.

Just ask his wife.




Alina Aivazova, wife: He loves you! As the wife, I hereby certify this. He loves you! He loves you! And now I want to hear: Do you love Leonid Chernovetsky?
Buckwits: Yeees!

Alina Aivazova, wife: I kind of don’t get it. It seems you’re not loud enough. There are 50,000 people here, but I can’t hear every voice. Do you love Leonid Chernovetsky?
Buckwits: Yeees!

Alina Aivazova:
Do you love Leonid Chernovetsky?

Buckwits: Yeees!

Alina Aivazova: Then understand this: He loves you with a Godly love.



He should have fed them more buckwheat though.
In that swallow-regurgitate cosmochesis, he sounds more vocal than the buckwits.

Videos uploaded from:

http://tsn.ua
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/113628.html

5 comments:

Taras said...

Sad but true. By behaving that way, they recycle corrupt governance and poverty.

Anonymous said...

Apparently he pays those "beloved babushkas" about 10 hryvnia an hour to show up and listen to his drivel about love.

I wonder if the "beloved babushkas" know that he is a liar and a cheat?

Turns out that space cadet Chernovetsky set up a Cyprus corporation for him and his family in order to avoid paying taxed in Ukraine.

He sold his bank (Pravex) to an Italian outfit for $750 million dollars.

So while he tells his "beloved babushkas" that money doesn't matter, he's out cheating Ukraine and it's people - BIG TIME.

This article explains it all, and the diagram at the middle of the page shows it pretty well:

http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/2/20/90055.htm

Why is he selling his bank?

Several reasons, but one is that if you sell out to an Italian outfit, you pocket the money, and it's harder for the Ukrainian government to come after you to conduct a re-privatization.

Anonymous said...

Cherno claims he doesn't care about money.

But he does.

Pink Floyd - "Money" - lots of Rolls Royces in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_anbEJsr6s&feature=related

This version actually sounds better, from Venice 1989:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCpkHkq4apE&feature=related

Cherno should be sitting in a Ukrainian jail.

Taras said...

I’ve read that article. Thanks to the Cyprus tax avoidance scheme, Chernovetsky saved at least $56M. Talk about charity.

He sold his Pravex Bank last year. I figure he did it in fear of an impending snap mayoral election and due to competition/WTO accession concerns. The latter made Pinchuk and Tyhipko sell their banks.

Here’s “Money,” a song by Swedish quartet ABBA, which enjoyed huge popularity in the USSR.

I wonder if it will be Chernovetsky's next song.

Anonymous said...

Yep, they all started selling stuff to Italian or Hungarian or other companies so noone could come after those assets - as far as they (Cherno, Pinchuk, Tyhipko and their like) were or are concerned.

That way, the Italian or Austrian outfits have to deal with the Ukrainian government and the problems in Ukraine.

I am still absolutely amazed at how hard it is to set up a business in Ukraine - and how quickly the Ukrainian oligarchs have latched on to foreign and offshore corporate schemes.

It's stupefying.