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Monday, April 05, 2010

Easter Greetings: Yanukovych, Azarov, Lytvyn, Tymoshenko

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome The 30 Pieces of Silver Band!

Why 30? There are 29 ministers in the new government, all of them men. The woman didn't make it. She’s on her own.

So, in this particular quartet, we have three men in a USSR 2-bound boat and one woman in a yellow-blue submarine.

Yanukovych: mentions the diaspora (presumably, the last wave of labor migration); talks reconstruction, honesty, “ideals of truth and goodness.”

Azarov: enjoy the art of broken Ukrainian from a man who has lived in Ukraine for decades and has occupied senior government positions.

Lytvyn: very slow (are those $4.3K cufflinks wrapped too tight?).

Tymoshenko: dresses like a pysanka, smiles, talks “victories of good over evil,” “light over darkness,” urges “faith, love and hope” over “greed and fear.”

After studying the initials in these four names, I arrived at what looks like a coded message: YALT. Could this be a distress signal from Yalta European Strategy?

They really need to get their strategy in order. Maybe a few more guest speakers? Let me think. How about James Baker, Warren Christopher, Al Gore or Michel Camdessus?

George H. W. “Chicken Kiev” Bush could repeat his trademark skydive. I’m sure he wouldn’t miss Mezhyhirya or some oligarch’s helipad in Koncha-Zaspa.

I just don’t get it. If giving Ukraine the finger was right, then what’s wrong with Ukraine giving in to Russia?

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Unknown said...

29 ministers? Wow, it is a lot. We have 13+1 now and probably it will be reduced.

Unknown said...

I had some hacking problem maybe with my blog so I restarted with a new one. The old one became totally messed up.

Taras said...

Well, if you decide to add ministers, give us a call. We've got plenty:)

I've added your new blog. Take care!

elmer said...

How dare they? How dare these ass holes set foot in a church to deliver their asinine political messages? How dare these asshole thieves set foot in a church to talk about the "victory of dark over light"?

How dare Banditkovych, or Yanuconvict, looking like a stupidly giddy country bumpkin, dare mention God and "I wish Ukraine the best" in the same sentence, when he just stole Mezhihirya, his 400-acre estate, and his Partners in Crime are busy re-establishing kuchmism?

How dare these vipers say anything about God, or Jesus Christ or Easter?

I remember when Yushchenko gave his Easter speech - one of the best speeches I have heard - before it became clear what a failure he was as a president. He at least had the decency to stand OUTSIDE of the church. And he ended it with "воскресне Україна."

These vampires have done nothing but suck the blood out of Ukraine.

How dare they mix the sacred and profane like that?