Rivals Clash in Local Election Ads

Will the October 31 local elections be free and fair? Go figure!

The ruling Party of Regions will tell you that its approval ratings (41.5% in May v. 29% in Oct) have gone the way of Obama.




Meanwhile, the opposition will tell you everything you need to know about adminresurs (government foul play).

Seven parties should make it, according to the latest Razumkov poll.

Party of Regions (Yanukovych/coalition), 29%
Batkivshchyna (Tymoshenko/opposition), 13.5%
Strong Ukraine (Tihipko/coalition), 12%
Front of Change (Yatsenyuk/opposition), 5.4%
Svoboda (Tyahnybok/opposition), 3.6%
People’s Party (Lytvyn/coalition), 3.2%
Communist Party (Symonenko/coalition), 3.1%

In the chemistry of ads, one can detect a strong prevalence of fingerpointex over populismol.

As for me, I prefer this.



In Kyiv, we had a snap local election in 2008, so we’ll pass on this one.

OK, let's get this party started.

People’s Party: 100% populismol



Vote for the “normal” guys who'll make your life “normal.”
Astroturfing testimonials. Obviously, Lytvyn tries to distance himself from the “abnormal” coalition that he’s a “paranormal” part of.

A couple of more things. He had a role in the Gongadze murder, right? On top of that, he owns luxury real estate from Taxpayer Real Estate.


Party of Regions: “The party that builds”



Don’t let the Orange time machine throw you back, blah blah blah.


Party of Regions: “Building the New Country”



Whinium, fingerpointex, goodtimex, feelgoodex.


Party of Regions: “Building the New Country” (choreography)



Footloose meets Frankenstein...


Party of Regions: We’re left holding the “Hr. 300,000,000” debt bag



Whinium, bullshitium, fingerpointex, stabilnist whoreship, call to apply for gas subsidies (352,000 households approved as of Sept. 1; the rest must be “rich”)


Batkivshchyna (Fatherland/Tymoshenko): “Reclaim Ukraine,” “They’re building the New Country without Ukraine,” “without you”



Not bad, but no meaculpadeine.


Batkivshchyna: “Only Batkivshchyna will protect you”



Anti-government; attacks prices, corruption, land grabs; but too much paternalismin.


Svoboda (Freedom/Tyahnybok): “Who else will protect your rights in local legislatures?”



Positivex (takes pains to reposition itself from negativex)


Strong Ukraine (Tihipko): “The time has come for the strong ones”



Pro-government, economy, “better living,” “hard road,” bullshitium


Front of Change (Yatsenyuk): “Have faith in your country,” “Change your future”



Anti-government; change this, change that; dontgiveupium; attacks soaring prices, taxes, unemployment


CDU: “Yevroremont” (European-style renovation/perestroika)





F**k-me-in-both-ears populismol. From a joke of a Yanukovych-friendly party that Merkel should sue for trademark infringement and foul language (picked up by a sensitive mic on a live broadcast).


Green Party: “The future belongs to the Green Party”





Slice-of-death/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel dramedy; another gold-digger, no green credentials except tons of greenbacks spent on ads.

Meet the whole funny farm (30 ads) here.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/175492.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/172773.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/170646.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/167645.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/177694.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/177103.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/179167.html
http://5.ua
http://ictv.ua
http://inter.ua
http://www.1tv.com.ua
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/19709.phtml
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/19705.phtml
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/19856.phtml
http://www.thefunnybox.com/2006/10/04/fuckitol-de-stress-pill

Easter Greetings: Yanukovych, Azarov, Lytvyn, Tymoshenko

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome The 30 Pieces of Silver Band!

Why 30? There are 29 ministers in the new government, all of them men. The woman didn't make it. She’s on her own.

So, in this particular quartet, we have three men in a USSR 2-bound boat and one woman in a yellow-blue submarine.



Yanukovych: mentions the diaspora (presumably, the last wave of labor migration); talks reconstruction, honesty, “ideals of truth and goodness.”

Azarov: enjoy the art of broken Ukrainian from a man who has lived in Ukraine for decades and has occupied senior government positions.

Lytvyn: very slow (are those $4.3K cufflinks wrapped too tight?).

Tymoshenko: dresses like a pysanka, smiles, talks “victories of good over evil,” “light over darkness,” urges “faith, love and hope” over “greed and fear.”

After studying the initials in these four names, I arrived at what looks like a coded message: YALT. Could this be a distress signal from Yalta European Strategy?

They really need to get their strategy in order. Maybe a few more guest speakers? Let me think. How about James Baker, Warren Christopher, Al Gore or Michel Camdessus?

George H. W. “Chicken Kiev” Bush could repeat his trademark skydive. I’m sure he wouldn’t miss Mezhyhirya or some oligarch’s helipad in Koncha-Zaspa.

I just don’t get it. If giving Ukraine the finger was right, then what’s wrong with Ukraine giving in to Russia?

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/154883.html
Original source: http://5.ua

How Tymoshenko Got Fired

Ukrayinska Pravda recaps Tymoshenko’s ouster, with video from the Rada Channel.


Would-be PM Azarov rips outgoing PM Tymoshenko


PM Tymoshenko strikes back


Speaker Lytvyn puts her to a vote
Yea:
PRU, 172
BYuT, 7
NUNS, 15
CPU, 27
LyB, 19

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/articles/2010/03/3/4827934/
http://www.rada.gov.ua/~dtrp/

100% Counted: Alien, 35.32%; Predator, 25.05%

“No matter who wins, we lose.”


Yanukovych, 35.32%
Tymoshenko, 25.05%
Tihipko, 13.16%
Yatsenyuk, 6.96%
Yushchenko, 5.45%
Symonenko, 3.55%
Lytvyn, 2.35%
Against all, 2.2%
Tyahnybok, 1.43%
Hrytsenko, 1.2%
Bohoslovska, 0.41%
Moroz, 0.38%
Kostenko, 0.22%
Suprun, 0.19%
Protyvsikh, 0.16%
Pabat, 0.14%
Ratushnyak, 0.12%
Brodsky, 0.06%
Ryabokon, 0.03%

The first round has become yet another triumph of style over substance and promise over practice.

The second round will be perceived as bipolar by many, but will hardly be any different.

Without transparent campaign finance, without a mature voting culture and without grassroots protests, free and fair elections go only so far.

To me, it will be Alien vs. Predator.

After voting Tymoshenko in ‘06, ‘07 and ‘08 — and watching her all the while — I don’t believe in a born-again Tymoshenko. Not anymore.

Sources:
http://pravda.com.ua/articles/4b537cbbca600

99.87% Counted: Yanukovych, 35.35%; Tymoshenko, 25.03%

So much for the National Exit Poll 2010!

What a cold Vodokhreshcha (Theophany).

The bargaining process appears to have kicked off. Tymoshenko ponders buying Tihipko votes in the 2nd round by making him PM and giving him half the Cabinet.

Sources:
http://pravda.com.ua

98.61% Counted: Yanukovych, 35.3%; Tymoshenko, 25.05%

Will the gap shrink to her over-hyped single digits?

Sources:
http://pravda.com.ua

93.60% Counted: Yanukovych, 35.39%; Tymoshenko, 24.95%

With less than 7% of the vote left to count, the 10% gap refuses to go away.

Maybe she was celebrating a bit too early?

Sources:
http://pravda.com.ua

81.85% Counted: Yanukovych, 35.7%; Tymoshenko, 24.77%

As of Jan. 18, 10:24 a.m. local time, 81,85% of the vote has been counted. The results are as follows:

Yanukovych, 35.7%
Tymoshenko, 24.77%
Tihipko, 13.02%
Yatsenyuk, 6.96%
Yushchenko, 5.37%
Symonenko, 3.55%
Lytvyn, 2.35%

Tymoshenko — who counts on the Tihipko-Yatsenyuk-Yushchenko vote in the 2nd round — spent the night celebrating the expected single digit between her and Yanukovych.

Sources:
http://pravda.com.ua

Exit Poll Data: Yanukovych, 31.5%; Tymoshenko, 27.2%

The National Exit Poll 2010:
Yanukovych, 31.5%
Tymoshenko, 27.2%
Tihipko, 13.5%
Yatsenyuk, 7.8%
Yushchenko, 6%
Symonenko, 2.8%
Against all, 2.7%
Lytvyn, 2.4%
Tyahnybok, 2.1%
Hrytsenko, 1.7%
Moroz, 0.5%
Bohoslovska, 0.4%
Suprun, 0.2%

Learn more here.

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/articles/4b53427d2fdea/

Tears for Votes: Yanukovych Follows Lytvyn

Some laugh and sing. Others cry and cry.

Whether spontaneous or staged, tears put a human face on a politician. The Hillary syndrome has now spread to Ukraine. Tears have been shed in our presidential campaign.

Speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn routinely blasts the oligarchs and claims being cash-strapped.

That’s despite privatizing 600 sq m of taxpayer-paid real estate and having a daughter who owns a luxury boutique and a brand new $100K car.

You’d think that makes him a thick-skinned materialist. Hell no!

When a fellow Lytvynite presented him with a rushnyk sewn by her mother, the gift moved the man to tears.

Presidential candidate Volodmyr Lytvyn: In...[fights back tears, falls short of igniting a standing ovation]...in Polissya...in a back-of-beyond Polissya village...[fights back tears, ignites a full-blown standing ovation]...my parents brought me into this world.

Yanukovych found himself in a similar situation during his tour of western Ukraine, where his opponents vastly outnumber his supporters.

An elderly woman mounts the stage, empathizes with Yanukovych’s childhood of growing up without a mother, gives him a vyshyvanka and wishes him the best.

Presidential candidate Viktor Yanukovych: [smiles amid applause, crosses himself, bows repeatedly, thanks the woman, kisses her hands, ignites a standing ovation]: Thanks a lot, Hanna Mykhailivna! I’m deeply moved. I’m very grateful. In the area, in the region, in the land where I grew up, there’s a hu...huge industry. It was there...that I grew up, it was there that I was taught to work, to manage production, the economy. I grew up all by myself among people. Indeed, down there...nobody wore vyshyvankas...[gets sentimental]...and I’ve never worn it in my life. But I...I promise you that I will definitely wear it on holidays. [ignites a standing ovation, steps down, visibly tearful]

It’s the same tough guy who sells his apartment for Hr. 33,416,350 but reports Hr. 2,674,910 on his tax returns.

If you have a problem with that, you can sue him. So he says.

Videos uploaded/embedded from:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSCu2z_rgYM
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/142467.html
Original sources:
http://5.ua
http://www.vgolos.com.ua

Battle of the Billboards 2009

They're everywhere. They want our votes.



Pace yourself by clicking II and then -> or <-.













Anywhere you go, they'll follow you down...

Maj. Melnychenko: "Bill Clinton Lobbies for Pinchuk’s Interests"

“Joschka Fischer directly lobbies for Berezovsky’s interests, just as Bill Clinton lobbies for Pinchuk’s interests.”

The quote comes from Mykola Melnychenko’s recent interview with Obozrevatel. I translated a portion of it:

Obozrevatel: Did Tymoshenko really have other coalition options?

Melnychenko: In all objectivity, my argument is with Yushchenko, too. How could the President use one hand to appoint the PM and use the other hand to put spokes in her wheels??? Unfortunately, as of today, I don’t see in what role Yushchenko can go down in Ukraine’s history. As a reformer? No. As a person who did something outstanding? No. He only has one chance left: He can be remembered as the ruler who took the Kuchma case to its logical conclusion. It’s not just the journalist’s murder. The Gongadze case and the Melnychenko recordings is a wide range of crimes committed by Kuchma and his team.

It is necessary that the Kuchma family repay its debt to the people, give back the stolen billions. As of 2000, this family had a net worth of $8 billion dollars. At that time, Kyiv’s entire housing market was worth that much. Now, using the money stolen from the people, Pinchuk [Kuchma's son-in-law] buys Bill Clinton from the U.S., wholesale with his wife Hillary, the current U.S. Secretary of State. What kind of policy will the States now frame toward Ukraine? Do we need a U.S. foreign policy toward Ukraine edited by Viktor Pinchuk? I’m sure we don’t. Therefore, the Melnychenko recordings provide the legal mechanism not only for confiscating the Kuchma family’s illegal possessions, but also for reducing the international pressure on our country.

However, one should seize the moment. Eight years is quite a bit of procrastination.

By the way, tests of the recordings began as late as the end of last year through no fault of our Genprokuratura [short for Generalna Prokuratura, Office of the Prosecutor General]. In the past, the stalling was done by…the FBI. The thing is, in 2007, when the Genprokuratura agreed to an international test, the FBI agreed to conduct it. They did agree, but it didn’t go any further.

Obozrevatel: You mean, it was Pinchuk’s American lobby, the Clintons, who pulled the strings?

Melnychenko: Definitely, yes. In summer 2008, it appeared as if the FBI finally agreed and, in July, I was to give them the recordings. However, an interesting thing happened: The FBI suddenly refused to conduct the test. So, I can’t blame our Genprokuratura for procrastinating since 2007. They spent more than a year in talks with the FBI, and we ended up being led around by our noses. When the FBI refused, the Genprokuratura found new experts and finally progress was made. Let me emphasize that it was by pure coincidence that the test’s beginning came with the appointment of Volodymyr Lytvyn as speaker.

Mykola Melnychenko is the mysterious man who served on Kuchma’s security detail in the rank of major and claims to have bugged his office. The resulting recordings, first made public in fall 2000, possibly implicate Kuchma in the Gongadze murder and countless other crimes.

In his recent stream of allegations, Melnychenko alleges that, in 2004, Lytvyn had a role in a quid pro quo deal pondered by Putin and Kuchma, key backers of Yanukovych. Once it became apparent that Yushchenko would win the election, the two tried to work out an exit strategy.

The would-be deal, Melnychenko says, would have guaranteed Kuchma’s safe retirement and immunity from prosecution had Kuchma not interfered in the election process.

After Yushchenko became president — catapulted to power by the Orange Revolution — his administration chose not to pursue Kuchma. Nor did it choose to pursue Kuchma-era crimes whatsoever, thus breaking Yushchenko’s key campaign promise: “The bandits will sit in prison.”

This, along with other broken promises, deeply alienated Yushchenko supporters, not to mention Maj. Melnychenko. “Only recently did I become convinced that Yushchenko’s entourage was playing its own dirty game,” the Major added.

Obviously, not all of Melnychenko’s allegations add up. Theories abound on his agenda.

That said, it would be interesting to hear the U.S. Department of State comment on the Clinton-Pinchuk connection. The two saw each other at Davos, didn’t they? What did they talk about? Was it another $5M?

As Secretary Clinton struggles to repay a campaign debt of $6M, I hope she does a better job in U.S.-Ukrainian relations — better than a copy-paste job from her husband’s May 12, 1995, speech:

But your efforts will not be in vain, because the course is right, even if the path is difficult. The toil is bitter, but the harvest is sweet, as the old Proverb says. In time, your transformation will deliver better, more prosperous lives and the chance for you and your children to realize your God-given potential. You and your children will reap the harvest of today's sacrifices.

In the pursuit of peace and prosperity, you have been well-served by President Kuchma and his government's bold and farsighted leadership. You should know this: As you build your future, the United States will stand with you.

For America, support for an independent Ukraine secure in its recognized borders is not only a matter of sympathy, it is a matter of our national interest as well. We look to the day when a democratic and prosperous Ukraine is America's full political and economic partner in a bulwark of stability in Europe.

Sources:
http://obozrevatel.com/news/2009/1/30/283055.htm

Lytvyn: "Prime Minister of Ukraine, Volodymyr Volodymyrovych Putin"

Verkhovna Rada Speaker Volodomyr Lytvyn: We were received by the Prime Minister of Ukraine, Volodymyr Volodymyrovych* Putin, right after an hourlong…[audience giggles]…of Russia, sorry. Hahaha!

*Name and patronymic transliterated from Ukrainian; transliterated from Russian, the name is Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Sounds like a juicy Freudian slip from the man who served as Kuchma’s chief of staff!

More news. Russia on Tuesday resumed its gas supplies to the EU — in small portions — causing technological problems in Ukraine. Gazprom claims Ukraine is so full of Russian gas that Naftogaz must transport the incoming gas to Ukraine's western border the moment that gas crosses Ukraine's eastern border. (Or at the speed of light, as the laws of physics suggest.)

European Commission President José Manuel Barroso called Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin to express his regrets about the size of the shipments.

Meanwhile, opposition leader Viktor Yanukovych of the Party of Russia, uh, sorry of Regions, set out to sack PM Yulia Tymoshenko and impeach President Viktor Yushchenko.

ProFFessor Yanukovych must have discovered the magic Kremlin formula: “If you can’t gas ‘em, fire ‘em!”

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/109927.html
Original source: http://tsn.ua
Other sources:
http://5.ua/newsline/248//56588
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/13/87605.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/13/87632.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2009/1/13/87631.htm

What Did I Miss? (Updated)

A number of major events took place during my 9-day blogging hiatus.

Patriarch Alexy died. Influential in Ukraine, the Russian Orthodox Church needs to find a successor for the job that traditionally involves theopolitics. Of the 27,942 parishes the ROC controls, 10,875 come from Ukraine (under the title of UOCMP).

Lytvyn in, Yanuk out. On Tuesday, the Rada elected Volodymyr Lytvyn speaker. The voting breakdown: PRU, 3 out 175; BYuT, 154 out of 156; NUNS, 40 out of 72; CPU, 27 out of 27; LyB, 20 out of 20. It’s unclear whether this de facto Lytvyn coalition will gain de jure status. Nor is it clear what cabinet roles, if any, will be awarded to the Communist Party, which jumped on the Lytvyn bandwagon. What’s clear is that big boy Yanukovych remains in the opposition ranks. (Three Regionalist dissenters supported Lytvyn, among them MP Zvyahilsky.) For Lytvyn, the appointment ends more than a year of fence-sitting and opens a fast track of crisis management window-dressing. The man and his party must show some results. Empty-handed, the Lytvyn Bloc stands little chance of being reelected in case Yushchenko unfreezes his snap parliamentary elections initiative. And by the way, Yushchenko has urged NUNS to abstain from the new coalition, blessed by Tymoshenko.

Gas deal stalls as debt lingers. Ukraine owes Russia $2.4B. Negotiations continue.

Baba Paraska got beaten. By Yushchenko’s security detail, as the main theory goes. Here, the iconic Orange Revolution vet tells a story of being assaulted by a group of men as she tried to get in touch with the President. The men grabbed her and hauled her into a car, hitting her in the shoulders and kidneys, Grandma Paraska, 69, says. Once the darling of Yushchenko and Orange patricians, she no longer gets the warm reception she got in the heyday of Maidan. After marketing himself as the “People’s President” in 2004, the Yushchenko of today rarely fraternizes with the “little Ukrainian,” the elixir of his presidency. Now that he pissed it all away, he obviously believes in the divine origin of power. The trouble is, the emperor has no clothes.

Hot water went off in Kyiv. It’s not just Russia who turns the heat off in winter. Starting Thursday, Kyivenergo, the local electricity company, turned off hot water in most Kyiv districts. Background: The local utility industry belongs to Kyivenergoholding, a company started in 2006 by the City Council and two Cyprus-registered partners: Densec Ltd, and Zarova Ltd (well represented in the City Council). Kyivenergoholding, in turn, owns three utility companies: Kyivgas, Kyivvodokanal, and Kyivenergo. Citing non-payment of Hr. 347M by Kyiv municipal authorities, Kyivenergo pulled the plug on most of the city, including about 200 HMOs, 300 kindergartens and 230 schools. You’d think Kyivites would take to the streets and put the water barons in hot water. Naw. So far, we have suffered in silence. President Yushchenko, Premier Tymoshenko and Mayor Chernovetsky have issued orders and made promises to restore hot water supplies. As of 10:20 Sunday morning (Kyiv time), the hot air in my apartment has yet to become hot water.

UPDATE
As of 11:54 Sunday morning, hot water has been restored.

Sources:
http://www3.pravda.com.ua/ru/news/2008/12/9/84978.htm
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/105091.html
http://kiev.pravda.com.ua/news/4941356e452c2/
http://ua.proua.com/news/2008/08/26/162639.html

Adminresurs, Astroturfing Redux As Oranges Near Divorce

Sparks are flying in the Orange coalition endgame — sparks of Kuchmism.

With the nasty fight getting nastier and the country holding its breath in disgust, the Ukrainian media draws parallels between today’s crisis and pre-Orange Ukraine. Here's a small glossary:

Adminresurs refers to the autocratic use of government resources (local authorities, law enforcement, state-run media, etc) for campaign purposes;

Astroturfing refers to the public relations technique (popular in the USSR and the US) of imitating grassroots support for a political party/politician.

And here’s a short battlefield report:

Last week, United Center, the pro-Yushchenko loyalists, rounded up college students and public employees in Zakarpattya oblast for an anti-Tymoshenko human chain rally along the highway. Watch footage of the event.

Голова Перечинської РДА Михайло Данча 2

Скачать видео

The two videos feature Mykhailo Dancha, head of Perechynsky rayon (county), presidential appointee and “community organizer” who exudes self-confidence and swears profusely. (H/t Obkom)

Meanwhile, friends of Tymoshenko have plastered the Cabinet’s Web site with a plethora of rave reviews from "ordinary Ukrainians" containing boilerplate language from the Kuchma era. (H/t Ukrayinska Pravda)

According to some sources, the Lytvyn Bloc has agreed to join the coalition in a last bid to reunite the Orange camp and stave off a snap election that may throw the fence-sitting LB back to wilderness. The reports have yet to be confirmed.

Most experts believe that Tuesday’s session of the Verkhovna Rada will see the final collapse of the Orange tandem and the creation of a PRU-BYuT coalition.

Sources:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhHWMMlhxY4&e
http://obivu.net/play14332
http://obkom.net.ua/news/2008-09-13/1315.shtml
http://pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/12/81204.htm
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2008/9/15/81245.htm
http://www.zaxid.net/newsua/2008/9/13/130541

Meet the Mannequins 3: Chernovetsky, Pylypyshyn, Pora

Here’s a fresh supply of ads. The male voiceover in these Chernovetsky Bloc commercials, which target seniors and commuters, can also be heard in 2007 PRU commercials.

The district clinic of Svyatoshyno opened in 1980. In 1981, Tetyana Vasylivna [patronymic] came here as an already experienced pediatrician. Forty years of work experience. Thousands of patients. Today, thanks to an initiative of the Chernovetsky Bloc, they receive a monthly increment to their small pension. They deserve our respect and gratitude. Kyiv is the only municipality in Ukraine where seniors receive increments.

The metro is the most convenient means of transportation. How much budgetary spending goes into metro development? Dnipropetrovsk, Hr 3.5M; Kharkiv, Hr 15.2M; Kyiv, Hr 1.44B, a hundred times over what they spend elsewhere in Ukraine. We guarantee that metro lines will reach Teremky and Troyeshchnya. Leonid Chernovetsky Bloc.

The head of Kyiv’s Shevchenko district administration, Viktor Pylypyshyn, runs on a kids/environment/anti-construction platform. This baby kisser clearly hopes to tap into the mom-and-dad market.

Viktor Pylypyshyn: Twenty years of chaotic construction, polluted environment, self-serving government. That’s not the way it should be. Kids should go first. As head of the district, I’ve always cared about kids. We’ve been developing extracurricular activities. We’ve reestablished parks and built playgrounds. We’ve renovated schools and kindergartens. We’ve given our kids hope and dreams. Let’s devote our future to our kids.

Vote for change! Vote for professional government! Vote for the Lytvyn Bloc!

Our kids need us. As head of the district, Viktor Pylypyshyn has renovated schools and kindergartens, developed extracurricular activities, built stadiums and playgrounds. Viktor Pylypyshyn puts the kids’ interests first. Elect a decent future for your kids. Vote for Viktor Pylypyshyn and the Lytyvyn Bloc.

Last Sunday, somebody — or something — screwed Pylypyshyn big time in my native Obolon district. Get a load of these carpet bombings.




Pora came to prominence as a youth activist organization and the vanguard of the Orange Revolution. Since then, however, Pora has performed poorly, due to bad leadership and internal strife.

Despite having gained several seats in the City Council, Pora has almost faded from the public eye. With the Orange Revolution becoming a distant memory, it remains to be seen whether these testimonials and word of mouth will help Pora rise above the noise level.

37A-37B Pushkinska St.
Kindergarten No.183

Female: Early on Sunday morning, a huge excavator was moving in on Pushkinska St.
Female: This guy’s father placed himself under the excavator’s shovel and stopped it.
Male: They put together those raider attacks, gangs. They attacked us.
Little girl: I wanted to attend this kindergarten.
Male: City Council member Serhiy Rudyk, of Pora, he said that our question will be solved — and it was solved.
Male: Pora protected us. We’re not afraid anymore.
Little girl: Pora rescued this kindergarten. Pora rocks!
Voiceover: Pora, No.5, for the City Council.

Testimonial: I’m Bratolyubov Oleksandr, a world underwater swimming champion and a physical training instructor at Gymnasium No.315. Kids should swim, but not all parents have the means to enroll them in expensive swimming pools and sports clubs. Everybody promises the moon before the elections, but I only trust those who do something between the elections. Our gymnasium has a pool and Pora helped us to get the equipment. I know that they’ve helped a lot of schools. And that’s why youth joins Pora, and they rock!

Voiceover: No.5. Pora for the City Council!

Videos uploaded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/84905.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/84762.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/84803.html

Tymoshenko Courts Lytvyn

Poland held parliamentary elections on Oct. 21 and has already set about forming a new Cabinet. Ukraine held elections on Sept. 31 and is just warming up.

Regardless of whether the Party of Regions and the Communists will be [on board], regardless of whether they will continue obstructing the proceedings of the working group, our three political forces — the Bloc that I head, Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona, and the Lytvyn Bloc — at 2 p.m. on Monday are holding a meeting of the working group.

LIMO or LIMI? Diet Orange or Bitter Blue?

With 4 percent of the vote still to be counted, dreams of a slim Orange coalition BYuT (30.81%) and NUNS (14.27%), may be shattered. The LIMO (Lytvyn in, Moroz out) flow assumption appears less than safe. Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched!

Under the LIMI (Lytvyn in, Moroz in) flow assumption, the balance of power may shift dramatically — and not in the Oranges’ favor.

The math makes Lytvyn a mercenary, and puts him in Moroz’s behavioral niche. Under a worst-case scenario, the SPU surpasses the 3 percent threshold, and joins forces with the PRU (34.19%), KPU (5.37%) and LyB (3.98%). Should this scenario prevail, it’s the Blues who will gain a razor-thin majority.

In a Rada where seats are in short supply, Volodymyr Lytvyn will sell his services to the highest bidder.

Who is Mr. Lytvyn? Kuchma’s chief of staff (1996-2000) involved in the Gongadze scandal; leader of the pro-Kuchma ZaYedu bloc in the 2002 parliamentary election; a PhD in history caught in the act of plagiarism; speaker of the Rada (2002-2006); and an also-ran in the 2006 parliamentary election.

This year, his third-party platform has propelled him back to the Rada, where he will seek to exercise his “golden share” leverage.

Summary of the Ukrainian Parliamentary Campaign 2007
Who's Who in Political Advertising

Achievers: PRU, BYuT, NUNS, KPU
Strugglers: SPU, LyB, PSPU

PRU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Party_of_Regions
http://partyofregions.org.ua/eng/


Over the last year, our leaders have proved a lot to us. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions have proved that they have the experience and true leadership qualities to achieve results. What have the Orange Revolution leaders proved? That politicians unable to work together cannot run the government. That power is more important to them than improving the lives of ordinary people. Protect your future. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions: a proven track record of results for Ukraine.


Orange revolutionaries promised us a lot of good things. But instead of economic growth, we ended up with a surge in unemployment and a price hike. Instead of Ukraine’s recognition in the international arena we ended up in an argument with Russia. Instead of government reform, we witnessed incessant turf battles and corruption, which prompted Yushchenko to fire Tymoshenko. The inability of Orange leaders to work together is a proven fact. To get rid of the Orange chaos, vote Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions.


In a democracy the power belongs to the people. That’s why Viktor Yanukovych proposed the initiative to hold a referendum on making Russian a second official language, on adhering to a policy of nonalignment with regard to our foreign partners, and on empowering the people with the right to elect their governors directly, instead of kowtowing to the President’s cronies. Don’t waste your vote. Viktor Yanukovych and the Party of Regions. Protect your deepest values.


Why elect a PM candidate who was once fired for incompetence? The Tymoshenko government was sacked because its irresponsible policies had lead to economic contraction, artificial international conflicts and price hikes. Now she does not want to look the people in the eye, alleging that she has achieved a great success. But if she was such a good prime minister, then why would they fire her? The people know why, and will not let themselves be scammed again.


Together we can stop them. Tymoshenko and the Oranges are against a referendum on Russian as a second official language. They are dragging Ukraine into military alliances. They want to put their cronies and lyubi druzi in the governors’ seats in every oblast. The Party of Regions is initiating a referendum to stop their encroachments on our values. Don’t waste your vote. The Party of Regions. Protect your deepest values.

BYuT
http://ibyut.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yulia_Tymoshenko_Bloc


They cheated and sold out. They clang to their seats and reached for their guns. Betrayal and political corruption became a challenge for the country. But we didn’t crumble. We didn’t give in. There will be a new election. Justice has prevailed.


You are tired of politics. You think that your elected representatives forgot you and are fighting for power. True, there is a fight going on — between our political team and a few family clans that have pocketed three-thirds of Ukraine’s national wealth. They, relying on the power of money, have destroyed the victory of Maidan. Don’t be naive. They don’t care what language you speak; whether Ukraine will be independent or will merge into a new Soviet Union; whether we will be in NATO or not. What they do care about is how much money they will make off Ukraine. They are the shadowy lords of the companies you work for, and you vote as they say. They are buying television channels and are messing with your mind and choice. But I believe that in the early election you will break this vicious circle, and life will be born in Ukraine. And no matter how much they will defame me, make no mistake: In this great struggle I’m with you, and the time of your victory has finally come.


Michelle Nostradamus: Prophecy 2007

The Dame will gain power without any quarrel
Freedom, untaintedness, safety, and so
The plague of foul words shall have no more explosions
Without any war she will bring it closure


China’s economic miracle, Japan’s intellectual revolution, the great leap forward by Asian tigers such as South Korea and Taiwan. They’ve made a real breakthrough in the economies and sciences of their countries. We, too, are not satisfied with today’s questionable evolution. We offer our Ukrainian Breakthrough, a strategy for national development. This plan should finally be written by us, by our Ukrainian scientists and intellectuals. Let us stop relying on foreign consultants. We offer to create a national strategic assembly that will pool the intellectual potential of the country. Let us believe in ourselves and put forward living standards that will set an example for the entire globe. Share your ideas and knowledge with Ukraine. The new government, in the new Verkhovna Rada, will adopt the Ukrainian Breakthrough strategy. The time has come for real work to start.


Andriy Kozhemyakin, Major-General: Military reform is needed in Ukraine. Only a professional, combat-ready army can effectively protect the sovereignty of an independent Ukraine.
Mykola Kostrov, Rear Admiral: Young people should study, while the country’s defense should be entrusted to professionals, who will have fair pay and living conditions.
Mykola Petruk, Colonel-General: As early as next year, it is realistic to abandon conscription, and by the end of 2009 to finalize the сhangeover to a professional army. Ukraine’s rebirth starts with the rebirth of the Ukrainian armed forces.

NUNS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Ukraine
http://razom.org.ua


Corrupt official: Here you go. Check it one more time.
“Little Ukrainian:” Excuse me…
Corrupt official: And who’s this?
Official’s assistant: This is the “Little Ukrainian.”
Corrupt official: You mean the people? I see, get him out of here.
“Little Ukrainian:” But this is our country, too.
Official’s assistant: Elections are approaching.
Corrupt official: Okay. Here’s your salary, your pension, and here’s for the kids. Now go on and vote like you should.
Official’s assistant: Are you sure you didn’t give him too much?
Corrupt official: That will buy us a few more years in power.
Voiceover: They’re buying you. Don’t sell out. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense].



Where exactly is the Party of Regions headed when they talk about lifting parliamentary immunity? Last year, they demanded that the Rada not lift parliamentary immunity. Later on, they changed their point of view, having stated that immunity should be extended to members of their government. Now they agree with their opponents that immunity should be lifted. But they had more than 375 days to make it happen. The problem is that you never know what direction the Party of Regions will take.


People all over the country are suffering from officials’ unlawfulness. By lifting parliamentary immunity we want to lift the magnet that attracts mafia members to parliament, instead of attracting those who will write laws for the people. MPs must live by the same laws — without any allowances — must ride on our roads, use our hospitals, deal with our police and courts. So that they can feel the problems of ordinary people and change the laws for the better. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.


What can we expect from yet another Regionalist government? When President Yushchenko offered to raise the salaries of public school teachers and healthcare employees in the next year’s budget, the Regionalist government said no. Raise pensions by 35 percent? Again, no. Raise aid to large families? No! The government of Regionalists wants to be in power again. What will we tell them come Sept. 30? Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.


Tens of thousands of villages all over Ukraine don’t have a single ambulance. This is dangerous. This is unfair. We will reduce the fleet of luxury cars for government officials and members of parliament, and will provide every village with an ambulance. This is protection. This is fairness. The time for change has come. Nasha Ukrayina-Narodna Samooborona [Our Ukraine-People’s Self-Defense]. One law for all.

KPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://www.kpu.net.ua


Who are you? A spiritual descendant of Vatutin and Kovpak or of Bandera and Shukhevych? A descendant of those who served Ukrainian Nazis or of those who saved humanity from the brown plague? Remember your name. Take care of your Fatherland. Our number on the ballot sheet is 13.


A mediocre spoof based on The Hunt for Two Rabbits (1961), a popular Soviet comedy about a late 19th-century Kyiv polygamist-con artist who courts two young ladies, but ends up with his cover blown and his plans ruined. In this ad, Svyryd Golokhvastov, the main character “impersonates” President Yushchenko

Golokhvastov: For us true patriots, the ideals of Maidan are higher than the Lavra Bellfry. And if from the heights of Bankova Street [Office of the President] you stare down, the folks underneath, with their problems, appear so teeny-weeny, like mice. Pardon me, like rats.
Golokhvastov's never-to-be in-laws: Isn’t he smart! Awesome!


Yes to democracy! Down with dictatorship! Time to elect a fair government. Vote for the Communist Party of Ukraine, No. 13 on the ballot sheet.

SPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://spu.in.ua


Dear citizens! Today you see splashy ads of various parties, but there’s only one choice you have. There are those who promise their voters the “moon,” but struggle for power by flouting the Constitution. And yet there are people who call for laws to be observed and who suggest systemic changes. We should change not the faces, but the function of government, change the quality of life of the entire society. All rights and power to local citizens!


My fellow compatriots, the snap election gamble that Viktor Yushchenko has embarked on is a war against the Constitution, the judiciary and the local government reform. The Socialists are keeping the commitments they undertook before the voters, and are putting the [pro-Yanukovych] politreforma to work. The President, as always, wants to handpick rayon [country] and oblast [state] chiefs. Yushchenko’s goal is to become Kuchma. The Socialists’ goal is to vest the power in communities.


My fellow compatriots, I, Vasyl Tsushko, hereby report to you that under my leadership of the Ministry of the Interior the murder rate has decreased by 12 percent, and robbery by 15 percent. The MoI has upheld the law and citizen security. The Socialists and our leader, Oleksandr Moroz will not countenance civil strife in the country and usurpation of power by Yushchenkos, Tymoshenkos and their accomplices.

LyB
http://narodna.kiev.ua
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lytvyn's_Bloc


This is our life. This is our government. The government is the life. People deserve better than this — and better ones. I’m coming back to put a stop to misgovernment and to confer a just order. Volodymyr Lytvin. Honesty, integrity, professionalism.


Volodymyr Lytvyn. At a turning point for this country, head of the Verkhovna Rada Volodymyr Lytvyn upheld the law, stopped the anarchy, and prevented bloodshed at the presidential election. Without his wit, strength, and tactfulness, the country has succumbed to wiles, cynicism, and deceit. Stop! The country needs a politician of resolve and responsibility. Lytvyn means order in the Rada, the rule of law in the country, the prosperity and confidence of everyone. The country needs Lytvyn.


I’m addressing each and every one of you. Has life gotten any better? Are you satisfied with prices and bills? Is healthcare affordable? Do you have housing opportunities? Are you sure that your land will not be taken away from you? My answer and yours is no! I will stand for all who were forgotten by the present authorities. This is my oath. Vote for the Lytvyn bloc, No. 7 on the ballot sheet.

PSPU
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_Socialist_Party_of_Ukraine
http://www.vitrenko.org.ua


Let’s protect our country from being robbed by oligarchs, from land grabs and NATO occupation. Don’t be a traitor. Vote for No. 12, Natalia Vitrenko’s Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.


A pompous Soviet/WW II-style ad interpolated with “Sacred War” and a Levitan-like voiceover.

From the people’s information bureau: Today, at Yushchenko’s whim, Ukraine is being dragged into NATO. Our Motherland and the lives of our children have come under threat. We will protect our peace. We will protect Ukraine from NATO. Natalia Vitrenko, leader of the Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.


They say “zRadu het!”[Down with parliament!], but still betray each other. They say “we’re for independence,” but still rekindle fascism. They say “we’re for fair elections,” but still fine-tune the election results to fit the political order of things. They’ve worn everyone out. Down with cheaters and liars! Free people should live in a fair society. Natalia Vitrenko, leader of the Progressive Socialist Party of Ukraine.