Countering Communist ‘Language Barrier’ Anti-EU Ads

Whatever happened to “Workers of the world, unite”?

ЕС - плохая игра from Компартия on Vimeo.

“EU accession is a bad game. Even kids understand this.” 

That’s probably the one that makes the most sense. It combines both emotional and logical appeals, hinting at Ukraine's unequal bargaining power with the EU. OK, that’s a big one right there. Nice femdom angle! Of course, in reality, no one’s talking about accession. All we get, hopefully, is association. Well, that’s beside the point. Still, I’d make the Ukrainian boy and EU girl look like Yanukovych and Merkel, respectively, for comic effect.

But what’s with the girl? Why does she suddenly switch from *EU* to *Customs Union* mode? “Boy: Can I play with you now? Girl: Sure!” Whoa, are they about to play doctor in there? If so, isn’t it a bit downright gender-bender confusing? Considering that Putin is not a girl yet?

The rest of the collection looks like crap. Plain and simple. And instead of calling Commies on their crap, the opposition actually validates these ads. By trying to have them banned! Communist-style?

Brief Analysis
Message: “Didn’t get a word of this? Foreign language, foreign union! We speak one [the same] language [Russian]! The Customs Union.”
Target audience: Eastern Ukraine mostly, monolingual Russophones and surzhykophones
Appeal: Emotional, multilinguaphobic 

The opposition calls these manipulative. I call them masochistic.

English
Мы с вами говорим на одном языке. Английский from Компартия on Vimeo.

Ever wonder why so many rich Russians and Ukrainians are shipping their kids abroad and parking billions of dollars offshore? Maybe it's because they’re not buying any of this?

French
Мы с вами говорим на одном языке. Французский from Компартия on Vimeo.

As if France wasn’t so USSR-friendly during and after WW II and French movies weren't so popular around here in the 60s, 70s and 80s.

German
Мы с вами говорим на одном языке. Немецкий from Компартия on Vimeo.

Doesn’t Putin speak German and Merkel Russian?

Not to say there are no undercurrents to the EU Association Agreement and DCFTA. But these masterpieces don’t hold any water. And here’s how the opposition can turn Commie propaganda on its head. Lenin and Stalin loved kids, didn't they? GET THIS GIRL.



And this one too!


And use this English class movie scene!



It’s from “Guest from the Future,” a Soviet children’s/teen cult film of the 80s, the local mishmash equivalent of “Terminator” and “Back to the Future”. Take it and drive it home to Eastern Ukraine. Refresh their memory. Remind them of Alisa Selezneva. How she came from the bright Communist future of 2084 into the not-so-bright present of 1984. And how she surprised the hell out of her classmates with her English. “I’m not very gifted. I only speak eight languages,” she said. The Soviet kids of tomorrow were supposed to be THAT fluent in foreign languages.

Tomorrow is now.

Obama Gives Yanukovych Thumbs Up

How about some IMF loans too?


I'll think about it. And keep up the good work, man!

Ukraine's uranium for US blindeyenium. Yes he can. He's proved his worth at the Nuclear Servility Summit in Seoul.

And he's not the only one.



Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2012/03/27/6961508/
http://president.gov.ua
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2012/03/27/6961502/

FEMEN Go Topless at Putin's Polling Station

Where's the FSB when you need them?

FEMEN: I'm stealing [votes] for Putin! I'm stealing [votes] for Putin! Putin is a thief! Putin is a thief!

Didn't this sort of thing happen to his frenemy Yanukovych two years ago?

Anyway, crying is not a crime in Russia.



Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/199175/na_uchastke_gde_golosuet_putin_obnajilis_femen_dobavleno_foto_i_video
http://belsat.eu/be/wiadomosci/a,7304,vybary-u-rasiei-piershyia-parushenni-i-ghalasavanni-kandydatau.html
http://femen.livejournal.com/
http://rt.com

Zhirinovsky Rips Pugacheva (Tymoshenko/Prokhorov Endorser)

Celeb endorsers are a dime a dozen once he puts his two cents in.

Zhirinovsky: Why didn't you dislike Yeltsin back then? This half-drunk half-wit? Why did you all campaign for him back then? Why are you...
Pugacheva: You're a disgrace to our country!

Zhirinovsky: You keep quiet!
Pugacheva: You're a disgrace!

Zhirinovsky: Yeah, you keep quiet! You artists, like lowlife prostitutues, would go under any leader for money! You all went under Brezhnev, under Gorbachev, under Yeltsin, under Putin! Tomorrow I'll move into the Klemlin, Kremlin, and you all will be lying down, and I'll be spitting on you and wiping my feet on you! Shame on you! 22:55-23:27

Presidential debates can be so much when you have Zhirinovsky. You never get tired watching this guy. He's everything: a veteran jack-in-the-box, a convenient opposition figure, a patriot, a lover, a fighter, a rhetorical rocket.

At the end of the show, he puts Ukraine on his “friends of Russia” list, next to Iran and North Korea. Guess who’s on the “enemies of Russia” list? Now what did we do to deserve this? Didn’t we give away our nukes?

And what did we get in return? Oligarchs? Guys who, like Russia’s Prokhorov, are so admired in the free world? Admired when they're free to invest in London’s luxury. Admired when they're free to keep scores of Western gold-diggers around. But...not quite admired when they cut capers in Courchevel?

Does anyone remember Pugacheva’s singing endorsement of Tymoshenko in 2009? (After her gas deal had slated Ukraine to become Russia’s biggest and most profitable/punishable customer in 2010/11?)



Or Zhirinovsky “endorsement” of Obama in 2008?



Anyway, let’s see what sort of celebs will be endorsing Ukraine’s ruling Party of Regions and its opposition come this fall. Just don’t forget that the two seek coalitions, pass key bills together and trade talent.


Meet Oleksandr Volkov, of the KUCHMA Bloc. He's with Tymoshenko's BYuT now. What a major asset to the "Free Yulia!" campaign.

How about a Nobel Peace Prize? Hope Obama doesn't mind.



Zhirinovsky congratulates Putin. Not quite as loud, is he?

Sources:
http://russia.tv
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/199309/jirinovskiyi_pozvonil_putinu_ya_videl_kak_rastet_stopka_golosov_za_vas_video
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=285442778193064&set=a.103061273097883.4550.100001820318050&type=1&theater

FEMEN Slam 'Gas Gangsters' Outside Gazprom Moscow Office

If Tymoshenko were free, is that where she would be?

Femen Gazprom Protest Moscow, Russia 13.02.2012 from Moscow Bureau on Vimeo.

Some girls plant Gazprom's flag in Ukraine. Others play a different game.

Sources:
http://femen.livejournal.com/194313.html

Yatsenyuk: Free Tymoshenko as Ukraine Pays More than EU

It's all about freedom.



Government or opposition or grand coalition, they all need freedom. They need freedom — the freedom — to do whatever they want with this country.

Tymoshenko makes her gas ordeal with Putin, Yanukovych legitimizes it with his gas-for-fleet discount. Yatsenyuk wants Tymoshenko's vote, but not Yanukovych's verdict (in case he does what they did). That's the kind of freedom they all need.



Freedom from accountability. They play, we pay.



Decriminalize this DUI priest now! Priests and politicians must be free.

Sources:
http://blogs.pravda.com.ua/authors/pyshny/4f30eaaf00601/
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/196465
/oppozitsiya_blokiruet_vystuplenie_prezidenta_yanukovich_pytaetsya_perekrichat_deputatov_video
http://kiev.pravda.com.ua/news/4f33d0a7b3ff1/

5,000 Fans Rally Outside Lockup as Tymoshenko Turns 51

"Вітю на нари, Юлю на Канари!" (0:32-0:35)

Ukrainians celebrate opposition leader Yulia Tymoshenko birthday from alexey solodunov on Vimeo.

"Put Viktor in jail and Yulia in a fairy tale!" (poetic translation:)

As if 2008-2009 wasn’t enough of a fairy tale. The economy drops 15%, the hryvnia loses 60% of its value. People lose their jobs, savings and homes.

And PM/presidential candidate Tymoshenko loses €100K on a Spain getaway?























Not to mention her gas deal that now has Ukraine (Gazprom’s biggest client ‘10) paying well above the EU spot rates: $414 v. $360-$380. We'd be paying $514 had Yanukovych not won that super-magic gas-for-fleet discount.

Not only have we joined the EU, we’ve gone the extra mile.



So where are we, ladies? Jamaica? Haiti?



Sources:
http://vimeo.com/32764239
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/189365/miting_u_sizo_5_tysyach_storonnikov_gory_tsvetov_i_horovoe_penie_gimna_video http://mignews.com.ua/ru/articles/93629.html
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/27664/person_id/1.phtml
http://focus.ua/

Ukraine in Geopolitical Cartoons

What do you make of Ukraine?

Spotted this street exhibit while walking down Khreshchatyk last Sunday.

Lukashenka: ‘There's Plenty of Lousiness to the Current Leadership of Ukraine’

One dictator at a time. That’s how the EU does business.

That’s why the dictator next door ended up home alone, unwelcome and underappreciated.

Meanwhile, the dictator-indoor bombarded Barroso, Ban Ki-moon and other Western dignitaries with tin-cup hospitality. Later, he accompanied Medvedev and Patriarch Kirill on their Chernobyl pilgrimage.

Lukashenka: You know, frankly speaking...uh...not so frankly, actually...uh...you ask this question to Yanukovych: Why is the Belarusian president not present at their event? You ask them. Uh…unfortunately...uh...there’s plenty of lousiness to the current leadership of Ukraine. Uh...I’m not going to be fishing for an invite, and to be some kind of, you know, what you may call it...uh...a sidekick of some kind is not what I’m going to be either — of either one president or the other. That’s why this question — why no Lukashenka — one should ask Yanukovych this question. As for...jerks like Barroso and others...just who is Barroso? There was some Barroso in Portugal, then they kicked him out, put him in the European Commission or some other place. That’s why I couldn’t care less about it...uh...whatever blabber came from some European official someplace. There’s a thousand of them. Uh...and the most important thing is...well, it’s probably easier for me to speak here — you can see it and you know it — that...these are holy days for me.

Holy moly! What a stab in the back from the land where Yanukovych's father was born.

And what a cold shower for pan-Slavic unity. Or maybe acid rain?



Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/166662/kak_lukashenko_zakozlil_yanukovicha_i_barrrozu_video
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/23940.phtml
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/23935.phtml

Putin Got Bruised in Ukraine?

Tough love from Yanukovych?



That's what happens when our oligarchs don't get the gas rates they need.

Revenge of The Candyman!





Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/178905.html
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/19797.phtml
http://tsn.ua
http://5.ua

Yanukovych Face Carved on Watermelon

Children and adults, singers and sculptors, eastern Ukrainians love their leader.



Obviously, the 50% utility hike, effective August 1, hasn’t hit home yet.

If that’s not enough, don’t worry. There’ll be another 50% hike in April 2011.

Contrary to what the watermelon face had promised, the gas-for-fleet discount turned out to be not-so-water-tight when it comes to ordinary people.

Oh, wait, you can try your luck applying for a subsidy.



Just remember: Whatever Yanukovych does to you, it’s all Tymoshenko’s fault.

Here’s a Donetsk businessman who appeals to Yanukovych to protect him and locals from Lozynsky-type thugs who identify with the Party of Regions.



Why not put their faces on watermelons too? Maybe the IMF could even sponsor an art exhibit?

In Russian cuisine, they have creative ideas of their own.

Lenin and his associates consumed Russians and others by the million. Now, how about some Russians consume some Lenin? Piece of cake!


Амелькина "ленина съели". Огромный торт изображающий ленина в натуральную величину. Его режут,

Yummy. I’m lovin’ it!

Videos uploaded/embedded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/167455.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/167682.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/167645.html
http://www.newstube.ru/media/amel%27kina-lenina-s%27%27eli-ogromnyj-tort-izobrazhayushhij-lenina-v-natural%27nuyu-velichinu-ego-rezhut
Original sources:
http://kanalukraina.tv
http://www.1tv.com.ua
http://www.tvc.ru

Putin Confuses Khersones With Kherson, Rus With Russia

Putin meets Yanukovych halfway as the two compile a joint history textbook.

PM Putin: Here, not far from here, in Kherson, in the 10th century, in 988, the then leader, the head of the Old Russian state, Prince Vladimir, embraced Christianity and then baptized Rus.

Well, that makes 10th-century Constantinople the capital of what? The Ottoman Empire?

And Christianity came to Rus via the Old Russian Black Sea Fleet, at the behest of the then mayor of Moscow, right?

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/166143.html
Original source: http://tsn.ua

Biker Putin, Mayor Luzhkov, Patriarch Kirill Descend on Ukraine

The Kremlin has been ganging up on Yanukovych in what appears to be a very tight schedule.

Once in Ukraine, everyone gets busy.



Patriarch Kirill — slams nationalism.

Seriously, didn’t we Little Russians oppress you Great Russians for centuries?


Лучшее видео на video.tochka.net - Что Лужков заявлял о Севастополе


Mayor Luzhkov — questions Ukraine’s sovereignty over Sevastopol.

Touché! Didn’t we Little Russians conquer Great Russian towns and villages, sending millions of Great Russians to the Holodomors and Gulags?

PM/Biker-in-Chief Putin — practices Ukrainian. Again!

Putin [addresses Russian bikers in Russian]: Tomorrow is Russian Navy Day. Let me greet all navy personnel with this holiday! [applause] And tomorrow Ukrainian and Russian naval personnel will be together — just as they were together — just as our peoples were together for many many centuries, in times of trials and tribulations. And tomorrow they will be together. And for this I want to give special thanks to the leadership...of Ukraine, most notably to President Yanukovich Viktor Fiodorovich [Rus: second name, first name, patronymic], both for the decision...[roar of applause]...both for the decision on the Russian Black See Fleet and for the overall atmospherics that he creates in relations between our peoples, between the brotherly peoples of Ukraine and Russia.

I want to ask you for a favor. And to make a wish too. Take care of yourselves — yourselves and those around you. Let us say no to reck...reckless racing and reckless driving. [raises voice] L-o-n-g l-i-v-e U-k-r-a-i-n-e! L-o-n-g l-i-v-e R-u-s-s-i-a! Long live the bike! [parting shot in lower-voice comic-sounding Ukrainian]

Woo hoo! Long live the legacy of Russia's Ukrainization!

Videos embedded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165914.html
http://news.tochka.net/48916-luzhkov-vse-eshche-khochet-vernut-sevastopol-video
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2010/07/24/5246612

Original sources:
http://inter.ua
http://lenta.tv
http://www.vesti.ru

Yanukovych Preps Azarov for Ukrainian (Off-Air Leak)

Language barriers exist between Ukraine’s top two officials, in violation of the law.

Well, who gives a vuzeli about the laws and the languages anyway?

President Yanukovych [informal Russian]: Well, I’ll be addressing you...in the Ukrainian language. [switches to formal Ukrainian] Mykola Yanukovych [name, patronymic], I would like to hear you out...on the current situation — on issues of relevance.

Not quite as dramatic as Tymoshenko’s “everything’s gone” leak, but still didactic.

Keep them coming, guys!

Watch another snippet of the conversation.



Azarov gloats over the drought in Russia, which, he says, bodes well for Ukraine’s agricultural exports.

Which actually means the grain traders and VAT rebate folks will line their pockets, leaving the farmers with nickels and dimes.

Videos embedded from:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/person/4c470acd5e2a1
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165648.html
Original source:
http://www.1tv.com.ua

Yanukovych Addresses Nation on Sovereignty Day

To Yanukovych, sovereignty means something else.

President Yanukovych: As president of the state and as the guarantor of the Constitution, I am filled with resolve to secure the internal and external political factors that will allow our people to feel that government irresponsibility has once and for all become a thing of the past. European prospects and developing strategic relations with centers of world politics, including the Russian Federation, will secure us economic prosperity and social progress. Thus, with dignity, we will carry on with the cause initiated twenty years ago. Happy holidays to you, dear compatriots!

2:22-3:06

Want to study one of the world’s funniest languages? Try Ukrofficialese.

OK, what else, Mr. President? Constitution! That name rings a bell. You two are shacking up at Mezhyhirya, right?

How generous of you to spend €1M of your €23K/year salary on those birthday party artists. After all, your official salary makes up 1000% of Ukraine’s nominal GDP per capita.

Makes Ukraine’s flag go upside down!





Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/165303.html
Original source: http://5.ua
Photos: http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/07/15/5224135

Russian MP Calls Ukraine ‘Edge,’ Angers Audience

Україна (Ukrayina) means different things to different people.

To some, it means країна (krayina), Ukrainian for country, region or land.

To others, it means окраина (okraina), Russian for outskirts, borderland or edge.

Naturally, to most Russians, Ukrayina means okraina, not krayina. Ironically, despite this marginalization, it also means a place — the place — from which they trace their statehood.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Konstantin Zatulin. He’s one of those Russians, and a member of Russia’s parliament at that. He’s a veteran crusader who can’t get enough of patronizing Ukraine now that Yanukovych lifted his persona non grata status.

Zatulin: A few years ago, on the program “Where Did Ukrainians Come From?” (it was on Ukraine’s Channel 1), they asked this question, to everyone: Who are Ukrainians? I said: Those are the Russians who live on the edge, and historically it’s precisely how it is. And I want to point out that, in fact...

Audience: Boo!

Host: You see how the audience is responding.

Zatulin: I want to tell you that my relatives and I myself moved out of the Poltava Governorate, Ukraine, two hundred years ago. Living on the edge is a great historical...a great historical advantage. That’s why... And we, too, live on the edge, if you will: in the East, in the West. You don’t...you don’t have to react like that.

Host: Thank you! Please, please, please, ask your question, pani Hanna, pani Hanna, I'm asking you, please ask your question.

Herman: I want...I want to express...I want to express an official protest to the Russian Federation representative...

Zatulin: [exclaims in dismay]

Herman: ...saying that Ukrainians are the Russians who live on the edge. It is an insult to our people, pan Zatulin.

Host: Let's, let's, please, please, please, your question, please.
Herman: I want you to understand that.

Zatulin: I see...I see that, toward the end of our program, the sense of humor is beginning to fade. OK, let’s say those [Ukrainians] are the Old Russians who live on the edge.

Nice hit-and-run strategy! First, you tell us we’re fringe elements. Second, you sense trouble and soft-pedal. Third, you call it a joke. Hahaha!

Now here’s the real joke. If you call your country Rossiya and trace it to Kyivan Rus (quite a stretch), why in the world would you call Kyiv okraina?

Was Kyiv founded by Muscovy? Or maybe Christianity came to Kyiv via Muscovy?

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/159635.html
Original source: http://kanalukraina.tv

Yanukovych Explains Gas-for-Fleet

My voters like me, the West likes me, Russia likes me.

Who the hell do you think you are if you don’t like me?

Yanukovych: After five years of making an enemy of Russia, it was not easy to restore the Russian leadership’s trust toward Ukraine. But I have managed to do that and today I am ready to report to my voters. From now on, dialogue with our big neighbor will rest on the basis of equality, good neighborhood and healthy pragmatism, not confrontation and anti-Russian rhetoric.

Was this achieved at too high a price? No. Because the agreements reached with Moscow are mutually beneficial. The documents signed in Kharkiv will secure a significant decrease in the price of gas, which means an increase in the social welfare of every Ukrainian, the beginning of our economy’s recovery from a deep crisis.

It also means a guaranteed strength...strengthening of energy security for the entire continent of Europe. The entire civilized world has approved of the results of my negotiations with President Medvedev. In Washington, Brussels, in all European capitals, they are considered a definite success for Ukraine.

It is only our opposition that re...remains unsatisfied. Why do they call you to new barricades? Why are they shaking up the stabilnist that was achieved for the first in the many years of endless wars between government leaders? Because once again they seek to dissolve Parliament in the name of so-called political expediency. Because they understand this: Stabilnist, a strong chain of command, order and normalization of relations with Russia is their political demise.

Once again, they are struggling for power at any price. They need war. The recent events in the Verkhovna Rada have shown that the political adventurists are ready to toss smoke grenades not only on the Parliament floor but also at the entire Ukraine. We need stabilnist and development, the ability to work normally, pass reforms and be friends with our neighbors.

And we will achieve this just as we have managed to resist, in kind, the opponents of changes for the better. Soon, you will be convinced that we are heading in the right direction. I bear personal responsibility for this. I promise you: Ukraine will be strong and prosperous. Movement toward this goal has begun.
1:40-4:24

Speaking of movement, we now have a Yanukovych-only highway in Kyiv!

This highway helps Yanukovych move from his Principality of Yanuco (aka Mezhyhirya) to his workplace and back — as people-free as possible.
Reform #4 (underway): Naftogaz+nuclear power+aerospace industry+you name it=Friendship With Russia, Inc.


“Sold!”

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/157760.html Original source: http://kanalukraina.tv

Putin: ‘I Would Eat Both Yanukovych And…Aaaand…’

Last year, a Russian news anchor called President Medvedev “Prime Minister of Russia.” Even more hilariously, he then called PM Putin by his previous job title: “President.”

As if in revenge, during his recent inspection of Kyiv, Putin degraded Yanukovych and even entertained the idea of cannibalizing him.

Putin: The price that...uh...that they rolled out at us — to me it was completely off the charts. For this amount of money, I would eat both Yanukovych and...aaaaaand your president combined. But...I really...but the money is just...no military base in the world is worth that much money. There’s no price like that.

Mr. Putin, do you have a name for that “president” of ours? Does he know you'd eat him along with Yanukovych?

Let me guess. You meant that bad guy Yushchenko, right? He’s not our president anymore! Besides, he still may have some dioxin left in him.

But if you want both Yushchenko and Yanukovych, be my guest.

Need an appetizer? Try Chicken Kiev Chicken Obama and his audaciously hopeful uranium-over-democracy sauce.

Hell, you can even digest this retro book of recipes:

Recently, I returned from a trip to Ukraine, where I had the opportunity to meet the nation's third president, Viktor Yushchenko. Since the country first broke away from the Soviet Union more than a decade earlier, Ukraine has been trying to forge its own identity and assert its own independence from Russia. This culminated earlier this year in the Orange Revolution, a mass demonstration from thousands of protestors who stood by Yushchenko and his promise to move his country further from the sphere of Russian influence.

President Yushchenko finally won. But today, Ukraine remains almost entirely dependent on - guess who -- Russia - for all it's oil and gas supplies. And it is widely expected that in anticipation of next year's parliamentary elections, Russia will triple the prices of both. Despite all the soaring rhetoric, the demonstrations and the courage, Ukraine still finds itself at the mercy of its former patron - a nation that can now influence every political and economic decision they make - all because of oil.

This will not be America's future - but this is the stranglehold that fossil fuels can have on a nation's freedom. Ukraine may have little choice in the matter. The most powerful and wealthy nation on earth, teeming with brilliant minds and cutting-edge technology, surely does. The genius of the American people has already shown us the path towards energy independence, now they're just waiting for their government to take them there. Let's finally get it done. Thank you.

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/157424.html
Original source: http://tsn.ua