Tymoshenko Playing Sick, Kissing (With Lawyer?) on Fake (?) Video

She says she’s a good girl. They say she’s a bad girl.



Looks like a sideshow to the violence she says she suffered from during her forced transfer to the hospital.



Which led her to go on hunger strike.

Still, the place looks pretty much the same as the infirmary cell in the previous video released by the regime. With the not-so-fake Tymoshenko in it.



It's hard to be sure, but maybe there’s some truth to both sides of the story?

Meanwhile, in Holland...



...women can only rely on beer machines to keep their men out of Ukraine.

Sources:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/scandal/4f96a0a921b9d/
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/204224/uderji_ego_doma_v_niderlandah_na_tv_prizyvayut_ne_puskat_mujchin_na_evro2012_v_ukrainu_video
http://www.pravda.com.ua/articles/2012/04/27/6963597/

Rallies Against ‘Killer Kids’ as Raped/Burned Girl Struggles for Life

FEMEN went on top of the Prosecutor General’s Office.

Смерть ублюдкам! from FEMEN Video on Vimeo.

Death to the sadists! Oksana, you have to pull through! Castrate the bastards! Murderers to jail!

One of the three "killer kids" in the Mykolayiv rape-and-burn case happens to be the son of a former prosecutor. (Not according to the local prosecutor’s office, of course.) Another one is the son of the city’s former top official. Well, at least no denials here. Both had been initially released but taken back into custody later on as public pressure built up. In this video, the third suspect apparently takes the fall for his buddies.

In Ukraine, you can beat, rape, strangle, mangle, hunt, kill and even burn people and get away with it. If you have cash or connections, of course. If you don’t, you better get together to defend yourself like these ordinary people do.

Rich "killer kids," or mazhory as we call them in Ukraine, have created a cultural phenomenon far more prevalent than student rampages in the US. Maybe it's because here in Ukraine violent crime of this nature goes unpunished far more often than in the US?

By virtue of the almighty dollar, not probable cause or Miranda, the perpetrators either receive ridiculous sentences or avoid any jail time whatsoever. The list goes on and on.

Some US and EU tourists love Ukrainian oligarchs. But...not the way of life that oligarchy enforces on its aborigines, as opposed to its aficionados. If you know any such aficionados personally, show them this girl.

Now imagine she's your daughter.

Actions speak louder than words. As of today, Ukrainians remain largely lethargic, with just a few small protests here and there. Still, even in the most lethargic part of Ukraine, people already mince no words.

Man: It might be a bit rude, but let him drop dead!

Woman: Let him live like I do. No jobs. My son just came back from the army and there are no jobs.

She’s talking about the guy who’s got a job — the job. The guy who doesn’t show up for work until 11:00 a.m. and calls it a day at 4:15 p.m.

If only he could dig up some more of that magic enriched uranium at his marvelous Mezhyhirya ranch.

Wouldn’t that be a great way to enrich Ukraine’s democracy at the upcoming Nuclear Servility Summit in Seoul?


R.I.P. Oksana (died March 29).

Sources:
http://femen.livejournal.com/
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/200330/jiteli_nikolaeva_trebuyut_pojiznennogo_majoram_ya_hochu_spravedlivosti_i_suda_nad_etimi_podonkami_video
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/200311/harkovskie_selyane_o_yanukoviche_tse_vrod_grubo_nu_shob_vn_zdoh_video
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/200244/u_yanukovicha_korotkiyi_rabochiyi_den_uehal_s_bankovoyi_v_1615_video

Is This Tymoshenko’s Suite, Er, Cell?

Liberté, égalité, bidet!






Not quite as cool as her Koncha-Zaspa place or Yanukovych’s Mezhyhirya principality, huh?

Still pretty upscale by Ukrainian standards.

I mean, if we’re talking about Ukrainians who voted for Tymoshenko only to lose their jobs, homes and savings. They didn’t realize she’d be funneling billions of tax hryvnias into banks, signing scorched earth gas deals and vacationing bigtime.

And when they did, many of them chose not to vote for her again. Game over.

Sure King Yanukovych is making a show of this super-EU-style cell. No mistake about it.

But every time I hear the word torture applied to Queen Tymoshenko, I can’t help crying like North Korea.



Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2012/01/3/6886292/
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/193151/za_timoshenko_24_chasa_v_sutki_vedetsya_videonablyudenie_svet_v_kamere_ne_gasyat_vlasenko_video

Is This Tymoshenko’s Infirmary Cell?

If so, political prisoners have more fun.

Tymoshenko: [...] there have been torture prevention reports by the United Nations Organization that prior to this I was held in conditions that were unacceptable. And that’s why I don't want you putting on a show like this.

1:16-1:28

Student Ihor Indylo, who died in police custody overnight, didn’t have the same torture prevention coverage.



He fell from his bunk right to his death. Three times. It was his third fall that killed him, according to police reports.

What about political prisoner Blagojevich? Does he have a comfy place like Tymoshenko's?

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2011/12/14/6838233/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSYYNzhTFxY
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/183642/video_kamer_nablyudeniya_rayiotdela_militsii_v_kotorom_umer_igor_indylo_studenta_izbili_srazu_posle

Yanukovych: ‘Conditions Are Being CreMated for Entrepreneurship Development’ (Freudian Slip)

Too bad he didn't mention it in “Opportunity Ukraine.”

Yanukovych: Serious steps have been made on the pathway to reform: Pension and land reforms have been initiated, as well as health care, education, housing and urban development reforms. Conditions are being cremated for entrepreneurship development, a campaign to fight corruption has been launched.

He went off-script. He had to tell the truth. The brutal truth. Instead of створюються (stvo-ryu-yut-sya/created), he opted for спотворюються (spo-tvo-ryu-yut-sya), which literally means to twist or pervert. To keep the poetry in the translation, I came up with a rhyme for created.

So you can't accuse him of plagiarism on this one. In 2010 alone, some 400,000 small businesses closed up shop under pressure from the new tax code.

Why pay higher taxes? Well, here’s why. Welcome to Sukholuchchya!



It’s Yanukovych’s 91,429 acre hunting preserve, a private maximum security gulag, not far from his Mezhyhirya principality. Guarded by masked militia and Ukraine’s secret service.



Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/180715/yanukovich_ogovorilsya_dosyagnuto_chimalo_spotvoryuyutsya_umovi_dlya_rozvitku_pdprimnitstva_video
http://www.rada.gov.ua/~dtrp/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBTMLE5alyM
http://tvi.ua
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/26332/person_id/1.phtml

Tymoshenko, Supporters Removed from Courtroom

Don't mess with The Hon. Rodion "Brute" Kireyev!



A joke of a trial turned into a show of force after the judge stopped tolerating habitual violations of courtroom order. The ax fell on Tymoshenko and some of her supporters, including MP Mykhailo Kosiv (BYuT), 77, a political prisoner in Soviet times.



The judge also ordered live feeds cut off.

It's a shame this country doesn't have laws that work and a judiciary that's credible and independent. Tymoshenko's misdeeds should be adjudicated on their legal merits, not on political grounds.





The guy who wants Tymoshenko convicted is the guy she wanted to do a grand coalition with: Yanukovych.

That's why she's no martyr material.

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2011/07/6/6361074/
http://tvi.ua

Yanukovych Wants to ‘Make New Tragedies Possible’

WW II cost Ukraine dearly. At least 7 million Ukrainians died while another 2.2 million worked as slaves.

June 22 marks the 70th anniversary of Nazi Germany’s attack on the Soviet Union. Let’s hear what Yanukovych has to say about this.

Yanukovych: It is our debt of honor to those who died to overcome the shadows of the past, to make new tragedies possible. Challenges to Ukraine’s peaceful future will be met with an immediate and harsh response, no matter where these efforts may come from.

Unemozhlyvyty, umozhlyvyty, who cares? As long as I’m in charge. Hell, I can even mint my own coins!


But that’s not enough to keep some of my supporters happy.




Even those who get paid to appear at my courtroom rallies get pissed.

Or maybe by “tragedies” I meant Tymoshenko?








What are you gonna do? Charge me with smoking?

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/172885/novaya_ogovorka_yanukovicha_nasha_svyataya_obyazannost_umojliviti_novye_tragedii__video
http://1tv.com.ua
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2011/06/22/6321086/
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/172849/aktivistregional_demonstrativno_sjeg_vozle_vechnogo_ognya_nagrady_ot_pr_yanukovich_lichno_obmanul_menya_video
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/173127/sudya_kireev_porugalsya_s_timoshenko_obvinyaemaya_vam_slovo_sud_ne_daval__zato_vam_yanukovich_slovo_daval__video
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/173196/sudya_ne_otpuskaet_timoshenko_skajite_do_kotorogo_chasa_vy_budete_nad_nami_izdevatsya_video
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/173097/timoshenkosude_u_vas_net_ni_znaniyi_ni_opyta_chtoby_rassmatrivat_eto_delo_video
http://5.ua

$50K Outhouses? Donetsk Orders 10!

No shit.



For that much tax money, you can pack your shitter with all kinds of platinum, Swarovski, wash’n’dry-your-ass stuff.

Or...you can buy a brand new SUV.

Dear IMF,

Please don’t stop. Keep the dinero coming. Help our government pay an extra $150M for every oil rig it buys. Help them hire US law firms to investigate things.

We can always pay you back. We have shitloads of national wealth to spread around. Nukes? Grain? Cash? Maids? Name it and claim it.

P.S. Can you lend him a netbook or something? Too much to ask?


Help your man get rid of the digital divide!

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/169692/chudotualety_ot_donetskoyi_merii_podogrev_sideniyi_klimatkontrol_hendsfri_s_bluetooth_i_kamni_svarovski_video
http://tsn.ua
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2011/05/28/6249821/
http://blogs.pravda.com.ua/authors/leschenko/4ddcf8aa670b0/

Highway Cop Kills Teen Cyclist, Gets Promoted

Catch him if you can.



A reporter tries to reach the cop for comment, and guess what? The cop's moving in the fast lane!

Which finally justifies the $100K we paid for this Ukraine brand.




Outpaced and outraged, the reporter goes all the way to the oblast top brass. Only then does Maj. Voloven become more cooperative.

Maj. Voloven: I have the right to have no contact with you whatsoever, right?
Reporter: And that includes running away?

Voloven: Running away?
Reporter: You were running, weren’t you?

Voloven: Well, I didn’t want to talk to you.
Reporter: Do you feel guilty?

Voloven: Well, yes, in the sense that I could not have prevented this situation, I take full blame for failing to react in this situation.

Teen’s mother: What did you kill my child for?
Voloven: Well, you do realize that...

Mother: Look me in eye! What did you kill my child for?
Voloven: I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose, right?

Mother: Then why are you, a major of the police, running from justice and providing false testimony?
Voloven: I...
Mother: You know I’m telling the truth. It happened right before my eyes.

What can I say? Another success story.

It's got character. It takes character to evade “the justice of the law and the inevitability of punishment” Yanukovych talked about last week.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/164138/gaishnika_kotoryyi_sbil_nasmert_podrostka_na_velosipede_ne_posadili_a_povysili_v_zvanii_video http://ictv.ua
http://brandukraine.org/i/

Not in Ukraine? Let Your Pal Vote for You!

Every time you leave, leave your card in good hands.









That’s the house rule. From coalition to opposition, everybody “plays the piano.”

For all the talk of a foolproof system, the Mar. 17 proposition didn’t pass, falling short by 4 votes. Fingerprint recognition? Why bite the hand that feeds you?

STB names and shames the latest card rentals: MPs Maksym Lutsky and Iryna Berezhna of the ruling Party of Regions. The two went to the Council of Europe and guess what? Their cards back home voted 6 and 4 times respectively, the record shows.

Reporter: How’s your card doing now?
MP Lutsky: It’s not.
MP Berezhna: My MP card is in Kyiv, but it’s not voting.

If only I had veto power...I’d vote for Berezhna as Yanukovych’s spokeswoman! Not only would she be a better match, but she would also be able to match her biorhythms to that of her boss.

I mean, showing up late for work wouldn’t be a problem.



Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/161107/vrut_i_ne_krasneyut_regionaly_berejnaya_i_lutskiyi_iz_bryusselya_progolosovali_10_raz_v_verhovnoyi_rade_video
http://stb.ua
http://blogs.pravda.com.ua/authors/leschenko/4d870e90308b3/

Deputy Prosecutor General Plays Gangster Anthem

Gangsta rap. Performed by an assistant attorney general. Can you imagine this?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Renat Kuzmin!

He serves as one of our deputy prosecutor generals. That makes him a very special guest star to appear on “Ukraine’s Being Had by Talent.” (Nice parody name for an annual gala organized by MP Yan Tabachnyk of the ruling Party of Regions, huh?)

Anyway, watch Kuzmin perform “Murka,” not gangsta rap, but pretty much the anthem of the local underworld. (Lyrics: Female gangster cheats on her lover-fellow gangster, sells out the gang and gets her comeuppance.)



“Murka” became a household name after appearing in “The Meeting Place Cannot Be Changed” (1978), a popular Soviet miniseries.


3:53-4:42

Ukraine's being had by talent. Any doubt about that?

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2011/01/9/5766343/
http://inter.ua
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1f5F3-1wfI

Lutsenko’s Wife Frets Over Lockup ‘Aura’

You’ve made your aura, now lie in it.

Mrs. Lutsenko: We...uh...have knowledge that he’s in cell 158. This cell initially served for...as death row. Later, in this cell, they keep...they kept...those sentenced to life. I believe this aura...that engulfs this cell...well, it’s...uh...unacceptable for my husband. He’s not a convict.

Did you say “aura,” ma’am? What about tangible things like torture?

Like breathing inside a plastic bag? Like being anally assaulted with an attitude adjuster? Like being beaten to death? Like being a vegetable for the rest of your life?







Agreed, it’s unfair to single out Lutsenko, given the crimes of others.

After all, what did Lutsenko do? Not much. He would drink and dance on the taxpayers’ dime, hopping from talk show to talk show. And all this time he would sit on top of an insanely corrupt, sadistic and bloated police force.

What do you make of a country whose interior minister promotes his driver to the rank of Lt. Colonel? What do you make of a country whose police outnumbers its army two to one?

Lutsenko specialized in crimes of omission, not commission. The Georgians made police reform happen. Lutsenko made shit happen. That’s it.

As much as I hate Yanukovych, I love the medicine he has administered to one part of our elite.

In its own time, the other part will get a taste of its own medicine.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/149424/lutsenko_derjat_v_kamere_smertnikov__jena_opalnogo_eksministra_videos http://kanalukraina.tv
http://tsn.ua

Lutsenko's Wife, Friends Celebrate New Year Outside Lockup

You're gonna be impotent! No, not you, Mr. President!

Iryna Lutsenko: I wish him...faithful friends. I wish him health. I wish him no harm. I think he’s a bighearted man...and...a strong man...uh...a man who achieved absolute power that we’re witnessing now in our country shouldn’t be vengeful. He should respect his enemies...or opponents.

Mustafa Nayem: How could this be that you’re greeting the current president in charge and yet you blamed Viktor Yushchenko for what happened to your husband?
Mrs. Lutsenko: Uh...I don’t have it in me to greet him on this New Year. I...can’t...can’t be insincere here. I don’t have good words for him.

Nayem: But you do have them for Yanukovych?
Mrs. Lutsenko: They’re not good. They’re neutral.

So it’s safewords for Yanukovych and badwords for Yushchenko?

Seriously, why blame Yushchenko? Don’t you guys deserve each other?

2005: Yushchenko becomes president, Lutsenko becomes minister;
2006-2007: Lutsenko goes on sabbatical; wireless story leaks out;
2007-2008: Lutsenko makes comeback, backs Tymoshenko;
2009: Fun in Frankfurt; Yanukovych-Tymoshenko coalition talks.

Law-abiding citizens beaten, tortured and murdered by police: thousands
High-profile criminals caught: um...1? Ihor Zvarych?

2010: Game over.

Quite a president we have now. Finally, somebody takes Yushchenko’s campaign promises a bit more seriously! “Bandits will sit in jail,” remember?

Makes you want to rehash your hubby's “one law for all” (“not just for me”) recipe, huh?

Source:
http://blogs.pravda.com.ua/authors/nayem/4d201b5b0470c/

Lutsenko’s Wife Curses Prosecutor: ‘You’re Gonna Be Impotent!’

Forget Tamiflu! Think Viagra!

Lutsenko’s wife: How can one tolerate such a lie? It’s just impossible! Why are you staring at me? Why are you staring at me, liar? You’re gonna be impotent! I’m looking right into your eyes. You’re gonna be impotent!

Power can be soooo sexy. Losing power sux.

He lost his power, but not his sense of humor.

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/ru/video_news/view/148663/jena_lutsenko_proklyala_prokurora_quotbudesh_ty_impotentomquot_video
http://kanalukraina.tv

Yanukovych Admits to Giving Bribes?

He minces pockets. But he doesn’t mince words.

Yanukovych: They’re rubber-stamping permits and licenses...and they’ve got regions, business, entrepreneurs and industrialists standing in line. [...] I’ll tell you, I’ve been in that line too. I would never come to Kyiv...alone. Because I didn’t have enough hands. And when we flew...when I flew by plane, two or three [entourage] cars would follow.

Thank you for sharing, Uncle Vitya! Has logistics improved since then?

I mean look at Uncle Lyosha. He looks like he could use a hand.









Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/180746.html
http://www.1tv.com.ua
http://www.expres.ua/main/2010/06/10/37753

Vice PM Test-Drives Bus, Breaks Traffic Rules, Hits Police Car

From “The Party That Builds”...

Watch Vice PM Borys Kolesnikov test-drive a Lviv bus.



Looking good, isn't he?



Too bad he didn’t notice that highway patrol car parked on the roadside.

Voice from the bus: “It’s OK! It’s OK! Nothing will happen to that cops’ car!”

That’s what happens when you break the law — “business as usual” for Ukraine’s elites.

In Ukraine, to drive buses, you need a D driver’s license. (Which doesn’t quite match Kolesnikov’s B license.)



That same day, Kolesnikov bought a replacement car and proudly declared himself ready to face the law. (Which means no one made him face it right away.)

And what does the law say? It says he should be fined $75 and his driver's license suspended.

But can you really do that to a guy who wears a $420,000 watch?


Not really. Not in Ukraine.


Not unless he lets you.

Sources:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/scandal/4cc9741f0c575
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/brand/4cc8293be3e9f
http://www.vgolos.com.ua/videoday/187.html
http://vlaskor.net/news/54636.html
http://ukranews.com/ru/news/events/2010/10/28/30063

'Constitution' on President.gov.ua: '404 Page not found'

Looking for something?



It sure doesn’t.

Sources:
http://www.president.gov.ua/en/content/constitution.html

Yanukovych to ‘Burn’ Thieves With ‘Red-Hot Iron’

Now you know who blows the hottest air into the ozone layer!

Yanukovych: I...can see you smiling. I’ll put it this way: With red-hot iron we will burn them — with RED-HOT iron — so they’ll all know…they who lay hands…on the property of the entire Ukrainian people will suffer for it and will be punished! That’s the way it will be.

How come it didn’t hurt to lay your hands on Mezhyhirya? Wasn’t it the property of the entire Ukrainian people?

If you ever want a taste of your own medicine, try this baby.



The 16-tube Uragan MLRS. Our cash-strapped military plays it every five years. And when they do, they fire it in single-shot mode.

And you, Mr. President, keep playing with your roads, your pools, your ambulances and your club houses.

Hell, you’ve got money to burn!

Videos uploaded/embedded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/171712.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/171714.html
Original source:
http://5.ua

Yanukovych to Rewrite Constitution

I, Viktor II, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully rewrite the Constitution of Ukraine back to the Leonid II model that suits me.

So help me $.

Yanukovych: Adopted in 1996, the Constitution of Ukraine, in its key tenets, has passed the test of time. In terms of defining human freedoms and rights it is regarded as one of the most progressive in the world. That said, the state-building experience over the years that have passed since the adoption of the supreme law of the land, has proven that the Constitution of Ukraine under modern dynamic historical conditions needs certain changes. Some of its norms, namely those hastily adopted in 2004, have become a cause of loss of balance and profound government crisis, and thus an object of criticism from within the country and from the international community. At the same time, I want to emphasize: Rectifying the current shortcomings — the constitutional improvement process — must in no way become a political act. It is a serious change of social relations that has to rest on the will of the people, reflect today’s reality, and define the state’s progress in general.

2:09-3:23

Once again, I greet all compatriots on the Constitution Day of Ukraine. I wish you concord, peace and goodness. May the upholding of the constitutional norms and the unwavering protection of human rights and freedoms become a guarantee of the successful development of the Ukrainian state, the strengthening of humanism and the supremacy of law in our land.

4:07-4:31

Now that Medvedev signed up for the “Terminator 2” remake, how about a “Red Heat” one?

We’ve got plenty of Viktors in Ukraine, some with priors.



Or maybe something less dramatic?



Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/articles/2010/06/25/5174432
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/16956.phtml

Kids Praise Yanukovych in Soviet-Style Song (Full Version)

Welcome to another Lost Generation! ☭owered by Cradle-to-Grave Brainwahing $olutions™.

Now that I have the full version, let me take the liberty to translate the refrain, rhyme by rhyme.



Uncle Vitya, strong and powerful
Uncle Vitya, an uncle who can rule
Uncle Vitya, an uncle who's heaven-sent
Uncle Vitya Yanukovych, a smart president

Hey girls, you forgot “Uncle Lyosha, a smart prosecutor.”

I mean Oleksiy Bahanets, the Lviv oblast prosecutor who uses a $100K Lexus CX 470, with a police license plate that the police can’t identify.

Every Friday, according to Express.ua, that Lexus gets loaded with bagfuls of something that travels from Lviv to Kyiv.










Uncle Lyosha calls the story an “invasion of privacy” and wants the reporters disciplined.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he's just an honest man who owes his fortune to “Climbing for Dollars.”



Sources:
http://tabloid.pravda.com.ua/news/4c19c4a598492/
http://www.pravda.com.ua/photo-video/2010/06/17/5150341/
http://www.expres.ua/main/2010/06/10/37753