Yanukovych: Ukraine ‘Must Be Made Unsafe’ (Gaffe)

It's not the first time. Maybe he means it?

Yanukovych: I’m being told that this must be done ahead of Euro 2012. Not just then, dear colleagues. Not just then. We believe that our whole territory...of our state must be made unsafe to live in for our citizens. And undoubtedly, once guests start coming to us, even more so.

Yet another reason for Merkel to stay at home for Euro 2012...

...and do some geography homework. 

Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/206956/teritoryu_nasho_krani_treba_zrobiti_nebezpechnoyu_dlya_jittya_gromadyan_novaya_ogovorka_yanukovicha
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/206924/merkel_ne_smogla_pokazat_na_karte_stolitsu_germanii_eto_ne_berlin_a_chto_eto_rossiya_video
http://5.ua

Yanukovych: ‘Conditions Are Being CreMated for Entrepreneurship Development’ (Freudian Slip)

Too bad he didn't mention it in “Opportunity Ukraine.”

Yanukovych: Serious steps have been made on the pathway to reform: Pension and land reforms have been initiated, as well as health care, education, housing and urban development reforms. Conditions are being cremated for entrepreneurship development, a campaign to fight corruption has been launched.

He went off-script. He had to tell the truth. The brutal truth. Instead of створюються (stvo-ryu-yut-sya/created), he opted for спотворюються (spo-tvo-ryu-yut-sya), which literally means to twist or pervert. To keep the poetry in the translation, I came up with a rhyme for created.

So you can't accuse him of plagiarism on this one. In 2010 alone, some 400,000 small businesses closed up shop under pressure from the new tax code.

Why pay higher taxes? Well, here’s why. Welcome to Sukholuchchya!



It’s Yanukovych’s 91,429 acre hunting preserve, a private maximum security gulag, not far from his Mezhyhirya principality. Guarded by masked militia and Ukraine’s secret service.



Sources:
http://censor.net.ua/video_news/180715/yanukovich_ogovorilsya_dosyagnuto_chimalo_spotvoryuyutsya_umovi_dlya_rozvitku_pdprimnitstva_video
http://www.rada.gov.ua/~dtrp/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBTMLE5alyM
http://tvi.ua
http://durdom.in.ua/uk/main/photo/photo_id/26332/person_id/1.phtml

Yanukovych: ‘DISEASE of Passing Reforms’

Talk about foot-in-mouth disease.

Yanukovych: The main resource that we have at our disposal is the trust and understanding of the necessity of overcoming (the) temporary difficulties of the DISEASE of passing reforms.

That’s what happens when you misspell заради (for the sake of) as зарази (of the disease). And quite emphatically so!

But wait a minute... What if it’s just a confession? A major spoiler of the man’s reform agenda? A mega-Freudian slip? Who knows...

Keep them coming, Mr. President!

Sources:
http://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2011/01/22/5820376/
http://1tv.com.ua

Azarov Keen on ‘Cheating Our Population’ (Freudian Slip)

Machiavelli meets Malthus meets Freud.

PM Azarov: We have everything! And the laws too... There’s only one thing missing: the very system...that allows...[glances down]...cheating our population, our people...and none of the officials bears any responsibility for this.

Official translation: We have everything. And we have the laws. We don’t possess only one thing - the system itself. Another «system» is functioning that allows deceive our people and none of the officials bears any responsibility for this.

We do have that system, Mr. Azarov! And it doesn't get lost in translation.

Promise: deregulate, lower taxes
Practice: raise taxes for small businesses, kill the outsourcing industry

Promise: “wild capitalism” over
Practice: Luhanskteplovoz re-grabitized at half the market price

Promise: make seniors happy
Practice: raise the retirement age to 65

Life expectancy at birth (UN)
Men: 62.1
Women: 73.8
Country rank: 123 out of 195

Defined benefit pension gap
1990: 8.6
2009: 84.6

Population
1992: 52.24
2010: 45.89 (April)




All systems go!



Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/162457.html
Original source: http://ictv.ua

Yanukovych Promises to Punish His Woman Beaters

No, Shufrych didn’t do it. Some other fellas did.

Woman: Yatsenko Lyudmyla Stepanivna here. Mr. Yanukovych, I’m that woman who, 5 years ago, came showing you a League of Bila Tserkva Entrepreneurs pin and was asking for sound legislation. For that pin, your teammates at the time — when you lost in the first round — would pound me with their feet. They [later] switched to a different party...

Yanukovych: I’d like to ask you — I’d very much like to ask you — to name publicly the names of those who dared touch a woman — those fellow party members of mine, as you put it. Please name them. I really want...the names of the specific people who laid a finger on you.

Woman: I don’t know how I’m going to live in Bila Tserkva [if I name them]. [applause]

Yanukovych: Well, in that...in that case...in that case, leave your number and address. As early as tomorrow morning — tomorrow morning — you’ll have my...[nods his head]...people come to you...who...to whom...who will hook you up with me on the phone. And please supply all the papers. We will deal with it. On these issues, I’m telling you, I’m a man of principle...OK? There will be a definite response — a definite one — you can count on it. I don’t know any tough guys in Bila Tserkva whom we won’t find. [applause]

It’s hard to translate Yanukese. We're dealing with a high-context, Freudian-slippery, slang-infested dialect.

Original: имена, людей, которые вас конкретно тронул пальцем
My translation: the names of the people who specifically laid a finger on you
Comment: конкретно (konkretno), as in чисто конкретно can be translated as absotively posilutely, no shit, etc

Original: которые свяжут вас со мной
My translation: who will hook you up with me
Comment: связать (svyazat) also means to tie somebody up

Meet another man of principle from the Party of Regions: MP Oleh Kalashnikov (no pun intended). This man, a then-MP, attacked reporters in 2006.



After a 3-year exile, he now appears to have been pardoned by the Party of Regions top brass, not to mention the Office of the Prosecutor General.

Z Novym Rokom! Happy New Year!

The year of the White Tiger, as some call it.

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/143424.html
Original source: http://shuster.kanalukraina.tv/

Tymoshenko Credits Herself With Undue Criticism

Критикувати чи кредитувати: that is the question.

In Ukrainian, krytykuvaty means to criticize; kredytuvaty means to lend. In Tymoshenkian, the two words can be hilariously confusing — and food for Freudian slip lovers.

PM Yulia Tymoshenko: No matter how much they criticize my government and me personally — well, maybe they don’t know what to кредитувати...критикувати [quickly corrects herself] me for — so they criticize me for two things (thank God, there's nothing else to criticize me for): for my dresses and for the Ministry of Defense. Two extremes, aren’t they? As for the Ministry of Defense, I would like to make a point of how unfounded this criticism is.

She works hard for the money
So hard for it honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right





Videos uploaded from:
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/132963.html
http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/133246.html
Original sources:
http://tsn.ua
http://stb.ua

Yanukovych: King of Freudian Slips

“Anna Akhmetova,” “preventing natural disasters,” “Bebel,” oh boy...

Kulykov, host: Mr. Yanukovych, a coalition between your political entity and the Bloc of Yulia Tymoshenko was viewed by many people, both abroad and at home, as a factor of effectively combating the economic crisis and as a factor of stabilnist. Really, aren't the politicians in Ukraine ready to yield their personal interests to state interests?

Yanukovych: Well, I want to say that...uh...on the contrary...the politicians...must always keep in mind the interests of the state — not their own interests — and their own responsibility before...the people. Therefore, the vvv..the ver...the very...uh...[hilariously awkward pause]...therefore, I made the decision, for my own good, to be, at this time, with the people...and to yield...my...interests. And I can say that I've always had one interest...that interest has been that the country would be strong and that the people would live prosperous lives. [June 22, 2009]

In case you didn’t notice, you’re not the only one with that interest! And you’re not the only one who’s willing to yield it! Your agenda perfectly matches Tymoshenko’s and Yatsenyuk’s. But, yes, you’re the guy who dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s!

So no matter who wins, don’t let your “interest” interfere with your presidency!

Video uploaded from: http://svobodaslova.ictv.ua/ukr/catalog/2009-06-22/330.html

Freudian Slip of the Year

I call them Tymoshenko Regionalists.

The video you’re about to see features Oleksandra Kuzhel (PRU), a former MP who currently serves as Chairwoman of the State Committee on Regulatory Policy and Entrepreneurship.

Oleksandra Kuzhel: I was invited to this store. They were having a dis...a blowout footwear sale. I had never seen such a large number of people in that store when I arrived. So I took a pair of shoes at a price that I know they sell in Milan. That is, uh, the discount price equaled the real [Milan] price. And that’s the price that had already reflected a bribe...[spins her eyeballs in reverse mode]...a discount...of more than 80 percent.

Just watch her rapid eye movement! Why do our well-traveled/well-clad officials have such a geographically displaced sense of bribery?

It’s about time the Ukrainian diaspora in Italy followed up on Kuchma’s Ukraine Is Not Russia with an Italy Is Not Ukraine.

After all, it’s Ukrainians — an estimated 600,000-1,000,000 people — who have fled to Italy, not the other way around..

Video uploaded from: http://censor.net.ua/go/offer/ResourceID/114474.html
Original source: http://inter.ua